Thursday, July 29, 2010

You just have to get your ducks in a row....

When I drove down the pretty street I live on, coming home from work today, I saw a mama duck and six ducklings crossing the street. Right in the middle of another excellent conversation with a friend for life, I slowed the car down to a crawl, and exclaimed "awwwwww". Then I thought, "You just have to get your ducks in a row!"

Remember Runaway Bride?
Maggie Carpenter spends so much time trying to be exactly like who she's engaged to that when she finally does meet "the one", she has no idea who she is.

I recently told a guy who I've known for a while now that I cannot possibly live up to the idea that he has of me in his head. I'm just an ordinary girl, and not that exciting. Now listen. This is not a self deprecating statement. I know I'm funny, and can think for myself, and have my own personality and thoughts, dreams and wishes. That makes me unique because we all are unique. I was attempting to have an honest conversation, keeping things real.

I'm going to quote my life friend, taken from todays conversation: *names removed for privacy reasons

"So, regarding how he feels about you and he being the perfect match....... this is how I think I've felt about someone as well. But who we think a person is and who they really are, are at times, completely different. I thought he was just so great and then he showed me his true colors. Why can't we just be who we are in the beginning, during the middle, and all the way until the end. Stripped down. Just me. I think I'm scared to just let the real me out."

My best friend is right. Why can't we just be ourselves, all of the time? There are people that struggle with letting their guard down, and being totally themselves, because with "sharing" comes vulnerability. Who wants to be vulnerable I ask you?
The question usually being mulled over is "but, what if they don't like me?" This is one of those things I told you that I found during this archeological dig of my soul. I'm learning that it's okay if they end up not liking me.

If you ask Maggie Carpenter, how she likes her eggs cooked, she can't tell you. If you ask each one of her ex fiance's how she likes them cooked, they all answer with, "poached, just like me", "scrambled, just like me", "over easy, just like me". See where this is headed?

So she meets Ike Graham. And just like before, it goes all the way to him waiting for her at the altar. And she runs. Again.

But it's different this time. She does run. But soon, she comes to realize that she really loves him. Everything Ike. All of him. Oh what to do. She starts "digging", just like I'm doing now. The scene flashes across the screen of several different plates of eggs placed in front of her, all cooked a different way. "How DO I like my eggs?" she seems to wonder, it's not even spoken out loud. When her best friend visits to see if she's doing okay, she tells her, "you just have to get your ducks in a row".

The mama duck I saw this morning has her ducks in a row. Maybe I could interview her?

Tomorrow I'm having poached eggs, because I love them cooked that way. I like them cooked other ways too, but right now this is my favorite. How do you want yours cooked?

See you soon friend,


Serenity said...

I don't know the name of the way I like my eggs - it's how Jane does it, in a pot that holds the eggs in egg-sized metal dishes and the egg comes out all soft and cooked with white all around the yellow. And lots of salt and pepper. And definitely toast and bacon on the side.

And I love the fun of trying to find myself in the midst of this mashup Michael and I have together. There's definitely a personality to us as a family, places we like to eat together, movies we enjoy at the same time. But then it's fun sometimes to think of the personality and food and movies that are just mine and that I hold onto despite the compromise of our very happy love.

Tiffany said...

oh Seren, those eggs you love are POACHED! yay! I love them cooked this way too. Of course anything Jane makes is delicious.
Here's what I really like: the fact that Bohon x 5 can really mean one, at times. Yet, you are also one, individually. I have no fear of you losing yourself. You're too unique for that. =)

Doug Moore said...

Great blog! I think we all struggle with this sometimes. I know I do. I think we, at times, put the wants and desires of our mate over our own, and, over time, forget who we really are. I think it ties in with self worth at times also, or at least in my case. It's easy for me to change how I like my eggs because it's more important to me that her eggs are how she likes them. Is that losing myself, or is it being flexable? Not sure. It could go either way. It's when you make a habit out of bending, and forget everything you like that it becomes a problem, and that is a fine line to walk sometimes. I know in my case, I'm happier making others happy, than trying to please myself. Yeah, I have a long way to go to get my ducks in a row lol.

Tiffany said...

I think your ducks are more in line than you think my friend...I say "flexible" to your question, and you're right, as long as it doesnt become a situation where you forget your name.
Poached. I'm still saying, poached. (lol) =)