Monday, August 2, 2010
I think in the ordinary, one can find the....extraordinary
In which, I discuss, the dating world, again.....
It's not really playing right now, the song, but I am hearing strains of "I can't make you love me.....if you don't.....I can't make your heart feel.....something it won't"
In talking with a friend about "trying too hard", a lot of things were mulled over.
At what point do we learn that the most important thing in the world, is to be ourselves?
At my friends request, I watched American Beauty over the weekend, for the first time. Gasp! I know. I observed lives unfold in a richly dark humor, hypocritical, deep yet light at times, hot mess filled with a thousand rose petals kind of way......
There is a scene where Ricky Fitts (Wes Bentley) and Angela (Mena Suvari) are yelling at each other. Obviously Angela is a very pretty girl, see above.
She says, "well at least I'm not ugly"
His reply, "yes you are. And you're boring and you're totally ordinary and you know it"
Throughout the whole movie Angela is constantly talking about the effect she has on men, and how many men she has had sex with, bragging about her conquests with the idea that everyone should care about nothing at that moment other than what she is saying. I knew from the beginning that she was probably a virgin.
The most physically attractive person can often be the most insecure.
The thing is, if someone tries really hard to be someone they are not, just so the person they are interested in will like them, how long can they keep that facade going? And how tiring would that be? Eventually, the differences will surface, or even more tragic, they lose their identity altogether. In American Beauty, Ricky had zero interest in Angela. He was intrigued by Jane (Thora Birch) who seemed to have depth to her. I don't want to say she's not attractive by any means. She just has a different look than Mena.
A good friend was venting to me about the fact that it's hard for him to meet women. Single....and 42, he's not really wanting to meet his soulmate in a bar, he says. I said, then don't go to a bar. Go do the things you really like doing, then when you meet a woman doing that very same thing, you already have something in common. "It was so much easier in my twenties" he said.
Well that may be true. But it doesn't have to be hard I don't think. It just depends on several things that have a hand in it.....circumstances, choices, geography, and a little bit of fate come to mind.
American Beauty. My definition of being ordinary, a phrase I've used often in describing myself, has suddenly taken a new shine to it. I think in the ordinary, one can find the....extraordinary.
Extraordinary breakfasts have denver omelettes in them......join me.
See you friend,
PS I must mention Kevin Spacey and Annette Bening being ridiculous awesome in this movie. Incredible acting.....Chris Cooper as well. Allison Janney didn't say much, but played that role like she always has in the past, so believable you think the character is a real person outside of the movie.