Monday, May 31, 2010

Conversations from a Gazebo



A close friend invited me (and other friends) to come to the house she just moved into with her fiance to enjoy an evening on her gazebo that's in their backyard. I love spending time with friends that possess the art of great conversation. As the evening unfolded I realized that my mind was swirling with hundreds of blog ideas, a rarity, and asked for a notebook (oh iPad, how I covet you) to write them all down. I think that's what good conversation does, it inspires. There was quite a variety of age groups present, as we all sat under that awesome ceiling fan that oscillated the very warm Texas air. I've said before, good friends can talk all day long, close friends can sit comfortably in silence and not have to fill every second with sound. The sun was just beginning to lower as we sat down, with wine, to enjoy the evening, and talk about life. I paid attention to the sound of a train racing nearby, the whistle blowing every one hundred feet to warn people that it was coming. I thought it was cool, you don't see very many trains these days, I liked the sound. The cicadas we're in full song, this sound reminded me of when my sisters and I would play in the summer until dusk and it was time to go inside. As the sun started setting, I could hear the neighbors nearby, apparently also having friends over, laughing and doing the same thing we were, spending time together.
I glanced over at her kitchen windows and noticed the light from inside seemed to cast a "homey" glow through them, the hanging basket of petunias in my direct line of vision. I thought, I would spend every night out here if the weather allowed. No TV, music lightly playing from the stereo, and friends talking about their lives. I don't know that it gets any better than that.

I will periodically refer to the "Conversations from a Gazebo" as I randomly post, would you believe that I have several pages filled, front and back, of things we discussed?! After I went home, and reread some of  the things I wrote, I laughed out loud.  We came to so many things being said that made us laugh until we cried. There were moments that the topic was more serious, sharing things that have happened in our lives along the way.
An interesting question was asked regarding age, from the youngest in the group. "Do you think it's odd that I don't really hang out with people my own age?" A lot of her friends are older, but because I know her well I had my answer formed before she finished asking the question. Maturity level being the main theme in my answer, I told her it wasn't odd in the slightest. When you have trouble relating to people who aren't going the same direction that you are in your life, it's completely understood why you would seek those who DO understand where you're headed and what your goals are, and may even share some of those goals. That lead to dating with age gaps, something I've wondered about before. I've asked a lot of people this question: "where is your line drawn when dating someone older or younger than you are?" Obviously everyone has their own opinion and idea of where the line would be drawn but the common denominator in each answer was, of course, maturity level. It just depends. If the person is five years, ten years, some even said fifteen years younger than they are, but were very mature with their ideas regarding life, the age difference becomes less of an issue. The opposite view remains the same I think. If you date someone older, I would think your own maturity level comes into play. Sometimes a connection is made regardless of age, if it feels right, I say go with it. You decide if something doesn't work for you.

And there you have it, one topic of so many that I eventually lost count. I'll visit the gazebo again soon. I hope your Memorial Holiday weekend was fabulous, and you are relaxed end ready for the new week. A work week starting with Tuesday can't go wrong!

I'll see you soon,
Tiffany

I'm so grateful for the men and women in the military who fought for our freedom.

"And each man stands with his face in the light of his own drawn sword. Ready to do what a hero can.” Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

You're just as good for me, as I hope I am for you




I would love to know what in the H is wrong with being positive and laughing a lot. Didn't expect that for a first line of Tiffany's blog did you? I'm not going to continue with "I'm so frustrated" because I'm not, I think a better word is perplexed, but laughing about it. Someone called me a goody two shoes not too long ago. Oh the HORROR! =)
Really?
Let's see. One "web defnition" of 'goody two shoes' is: "Goody Two Shoes" is a popular song by Adam Ant. The song was released on the album Friend or Foe in 1982.
I don't believe I'm a song. I could be a song, but I don't think I am one currently. Actually now that I think about it I would love to be a song!
From "The Holiday", Miles says to Iris; "Iris, if you were a melody... I used only the good notes"
So yeah, make me a melody and let me hear the sounds.....and feel the rhythm. What would it sound like I wonder. I need to become friends with a composer!

Wordsmith Words says: "A smugly virtuous person". Conforming to moral and ethical principles? I do my best every day. SMUG about it? I don't think so.
People, I cuss at traffic. If I drink a beer and have to burp I do cover my mouth. I don't just belch it out loudly. I'm a user of sarcasm when warranted, but never to hurt anyones feelings. Oh my, wait. Does that mean I'm a ....g2s?
If loving the movie "The sound of Music", doing random acts of kindness quietly and being secretly thrilled the rest of the day, telling a couple sitting next to me in a restaurant that their screaming baby is adorable and is not bothering me, giving up my aisle seat on the plane because the older man can't sit straight up very well, holding the door for someone, constantly talking about how much I love butterflies, and bunnies, and hummingbirds, picking something up in the elevator that the frustrated person dropped whose hands are full, and always providing positive feedback or the "other side of the coin"  perspective to my friend who is in emotional pain, makes me a goody two shoes, then guess what. You are DEAD.ON.

I'm a goody two shoes.

Idioms: A prudish, self-righteous individual.

Oh come on. PRUDISH? "Excessively proper or modest in speech". Hmmm. Excessively proper. I would like to think I act proper, like a lady who has manners, especially in public. I dance around my living room singing at the top of my lungs, if I did that in Target I'm pretty sure someone would push the big red button and I would receive a visit from Security, making sure that I haven't just inhaled some illegal substance.
Modest in speech. Well, I'm a good listener. Always have been, because I care about what others are saying. I'm careful what I say, especially in mixed company and I don't know the company very well.

Self righteous. The adjective listing for this is: "confident of one's own righteousness, esp. when smugly moralistic and intolerant of the opinions and behavior of others"

I had a lengthy, unwanted mind you, conversation not too long ago with a guy who absolutely adores Sarah Palin, thinks all japanese people should still pay for Pearl Harbor, and. Well, you know where this is headed.
I'm proud to share with you that I didn't say one negative thing through this entire, unwanted, conversation. I've said before, I am not a political hater. To each his own, it's a free country,etc. Do I agree with anything he said? Uh no. But I managed to partake in the conversation gracefully, exiting when I'd had enough without causing any ill will. I don't believe I'm intolerant of opinions of others. Intolerant of behavior? Well yes If I see a person being violent to their significant other, causing them physical pain in public for everyone to witness their humiliation, I don't tolerate that. Now that doesn't mean I'm going to rush over and get in the middle of it, but I will seek help.

Well I guess I get to wear a new hat. A goody two shoes hat!


I think I'm okay with that. I have to tell you, when I told a best friend I was called this, he choked on his drink. (Because he knows me) It was tea. Oh my GOD he's a goody two shoes too!! (told you I used sarcasm when warranted) =)

Here's the deal people. I want us all to get along. I laugh all the time. I smile a lot. I want to help, but not all of the time. Sometimes I need the help, and sometimes I'm emotionally tired and need time alone. I love sunrises and sunsets and they make me think deeply at times. I believe in signs, I think they're everywhere. I'm pretty simple actually. I don't need much. I choose good conversation with one person on my patio over a loud party with two hundred guests. I call my mom on Sundays and I love my family and best friends to the point of "I would die for them". I love love quotes, I don't care what the source is. Movies, books, articles, blogs, social media status updates, or just someone sharing their thoughts with me verbally. They motivate me, and make me think outside the box. I like doing that. I have no problem answering a text on a Saturday night that is asking "what are you doing" with, "reading". I don't think it's lame to stay home and read.

Oh and I drink wine. Goody two shoes don't drink wine! I'm just sayin.

Thanks for listening, you're just as good for me as I hope I am for you.

I'll talk to you soon,
Tiffany

Hey I think I should go to Goody Goody Liquor (http://www.goodygoody.com/locations.aspx) to get the sparkling wine for the breakfast mimosa's, ya think? aHA! Oh I'm just kidding. Ahem. Walmart is cheaper.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

My Saturday 10


I had a fabulous lunch with a friend today and received a really cool fortune from the inside of the fortune cookie "You will travel to many exotic places in your lifetime". I loved it, and immediately thought, I'm very lucky that I've been able to reach two of those dream destinations already, Paris and Hawaii. I reminisce a lot about both trips, go back and look through the pictures that were taken and it's as if I'm back there. Paris, if I'm ever lucky enough to see you again, I will be grateful, I promise. The picture above was taken along the river seine, with the best friend that made that trip happen.

And onward to my top ten favorites this week:

1. Absolutely nothing on the agenda for today, and tomorrow. I am in dire need of downtime, I love being able to just sit quietly and relax. This is good mentally and physically, it's been a very busy month!
2. Good friends with new music/artist suggestions that take the time to text me and have me check them out. William Fitzsimmons is playing as I write this....then Broken Bells "The High Road" (love this song)
3.Although I don't like getting behind on my favorite shows, I just don't watch T.V. as much as I used to. But I love knowing that I have five episodes of Grey's Anatomy waiting for me when I finish this list. I managed to avoid learning the finale conclusion, so shhhh.
4. Impending visits from various friends this summer, really looking forward to seeing everyone and going home myself (Missouri) at some point and getting together with everyone.
5. PacMan. Google. Not sure it gets any better than that. I spent quite a bit of time playing that game yesterday, thank you google for placing it strategically above the search box on your page. And Happy Birthday PacMan.
6. Going to a favorite spot on Friday night with a lit patio, and great friends. I love going where it feels like home and everyone knows me. I hope you have a spot like this too.
7. Making someone belly laugh. I so love that.
8. Hearing "me too" when I've shared a thought.
9. Knowing that this year has two weddings forthcoming, both of which I will be a part of and can't wait to attend.
10. The smell of Coppertone. Yes I know, weird. But it's summers perfume, and I love it.

What are your favorites this week?

Lets have breakfast on the patio tomorrow!
Until then,
Tiffany

Friday, May 14, 2010

It's okay to disconnect once in a while


Sometimes I feel like I'm swimming in information overload. Articles and news stories and blogs and status updates and daily reminders.....the list goes on. I sign into Yahoo; "What Keeps Men Happy In Relationships", "Sky's Color May Have Changed" (I laughed at that title alone), "Controversy of a Teen Sailor", "Eleven Budgeting Mistakes", "What Not to Do In Facebook", "Best and Worse Frozen Foods".....Scroll through facebook/twitter to see what people "Like", where they are, what they've eaten, what they're mad about, what they hate, what they love, the weather in their city, what team they're rooting for, and what hilarious video's are out there in cyberspace. I follow a few blogs and actually get upset with myself when I get behind in the reading of them, they're not going anywhere but it's almost like a need I have to keep up, or a courtesy to my friend to keep myself in the know of their thoughts. I've said before, "If they're going to take the time to write it, I'm going to take the time to read it".
But isn't it okay to disconnect for a while?
I just got back from Oahu. Eight glorious days of beautiful, aqua painted ocean, so much fresh pineapple I didn't know what to do with it, catamarin rides with views of spinner dolphins leaping out of the water, long beach walks, luaus, the smell of plumeria at every turn, hawaiian music wafting through the stores, friends sitting in three's playing the Ukelele on a Sunday afternoon in the shade, quality time spent with some of my favorite people in the world, laughing until we cried (seriously), laid back attire (I love my sarong), infinity pools, "island" hair (ahem, its a little humid over there) but don't get me wrong. I. LOVED.IT.
I had no idea what was going on in world news. I turned twitter off on my phone. I updated facebook five times while I was away, once from Maui, but turned all notifications off other than my own. I just.....disconnected.
I've been thinking about that since I've been home, how freeing it felt. I'm not saying I don't want to know what's going on the world, of course I do. You already know I love twitter, I don't believe I can use the word "love" for facebook what with all of this privacy setting change taking place right now. I don't understand the whole "forcing the social connection even more" facebook is doing, it's like they're getting paid if I become friends with four hundred people rather than two hundred. There are certian things I like to be able to control regarding what I'm doing when I'm in facebook, not really caring for the fact that they've taken away my right to do so in a lot of ways. So yeah.....my mouse does hover over that deactivate button at times. But, to be fair, I do update facebook at least once a day, usually. Just keeping it real, I don't want to be a hypocrite and say I hate it, I just don't like some of the changes they're making. But if they ever ask me to PAY to use it? Not doing it.
I said to a friend today, "what did we ever do before social media?" A few years ago I remember saying "what did we ever do before cell phones, and texting?"
What DID we do? Read more books? Not for me, I read every day and have for as long as I can remember. Get outside and enjoy the fresh air more? That probably is true for some. Spend more time having real, face to face conversations? I think so. Technology has brought us a long way, and I think that's really cool. I love having the text option, especially if I need to say something but I don't have time to talk. But that makes me wonder. Before we had this option, we either made time for the verbal conversation, or waited until there was time for it, or it didn't happen at all.
I met with friends recently who I hadn't seen since I got back from Hawaii. I remember noticing, and I include myself in this, that everyone had their cell phone either in their hand or on the table right next to them so they were aware at all times of any incoming texts, calls, or social media activity. I thought, so this is what we've come to. I wonder what would happen if I said out loud, okay everybody, phones off. Would they be able to do it? Would "I" be able to do it? I just don't know! I know my friends would say, "are you kidding, your cell phone is like an extra limb, you would die". =)

So I'm home, back to work, and totally connected again.

But I hear that tide coming in.....and see the moon hovering over the water, feel the soft breeze and smell the fresh smells. I think I may disconnect a little more often now. Be sure to do that when you need to as well.

They serve rice with their eggs at breakfast on the island, we'll have that this morning too at Tiffany's, it's quite tasty.

See you soon,
Tiffany