Thursday, March 22, 2012

But if she loves you now, what else matters? then he asked why relationships were so hard and women so much like a puzzle that can't be figured out.....

Dispensing unsolicited advice is one of my top ten rules of "no-no". I won't do it. I refuse to. Now, if approached for advice, obviously I will try to give quality, sound feedback for my friends. It does make me wary at times, that feeling of responsibility that often comes with this sort of thing. I think to myself "oh but what if I'm steering them wrong, or, what happens if I tell them to try something and they fail, then what?"

Try and try again, is the answer to that. At least that's how I feel. Of course, there does come a time when you have to fold, and walk away, let's be reasonable.

"We need, in love, to practice only this: letting each other go. For holding on comes easily; we do not need to learn it.” --Rainer Maria Rilke

So my friend, in trying to put himself back out there after a painful break up a few months ago, has become disillusioned by the dating scene and women and relationships in general. eek! Age-old questioning of the why's and why not's. I'm no expert but I am single and find that some people are more comfortable with the adage, "like speaks to like". If they feel I've been through similar situations, they are more apt to discuss them with me, than someone who they feel would not understand. Plus, I'm a girl, who better to help a guy friend understand, than the direct source. I had to mention that we are all made so unique, that I would never be able to speak for anyone other than myself. If a girl he likes is acting strangely or just simply disinterested, I can't provide the "why", she would have to do that.

I've been feeling sort of islandy today, dreaming of Hawaii vacations and beaches and laid back atmospheres. Bob Marley's "One love" came to mind, so with that playing in the background while I type this, it came to me.

What would Bob say to my friend?

You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She's not perfect - you aren't either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you... every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don't hurt her, don't change her, don't analyze and don't expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she's not there.”

― Bob Marley
"One heart. Let's get together and feel all right"
So my friend(s), there you have it.
See you soon,
PS Let's go to Hawaii and eat fresh pineapple for breakfast and lay in the sun and sail across the waves on a catamaran while spinner dolphins leap out of the air with exuberance much like we should have, were we to do this. Okay?

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