My culuhs are blush and bashful

I've been really feeling the girly side of myself lately. This is the kind of thing that makes me walk into my closet and look at the clothes that are hanging there, searching for signs of something that needs to be donated or kept. I can thank Disney for placing the thought of a Cinderella life inside my head when I was younger, making me want to wear that shimmering, sparkly white ball gown while gliding across a ballroom floor with prince charming. Long white gloves that travel up my arm to my elbow, do women even wear these anymore? Diamond earrings and a beautiful up-do.
In Pretty Woman, Julia Roberts is, of course, stunning in her red velvet dress that Richard Gere sees her appear in, in the scene where he is getting ready to take her to the Opera."You're late" she says. "You're stunning" he says. "You're forgiven" she replies, smiling. But my most favorite line in that scene is when she tells him, "If I forget to tell you later, I had a really nice time tonight". Ah romance. The beginning is the best part. But I don't think it has to stop. Ever. Romance can last a lifetime.
Another favorite is when he shuts the jewelry box on her gloved hand, I believe that wasn't in the script which made it even better.
Looking through my jewelry box that my mom gave me, at all of the different bracelets and rings and earrings, necklaces....bangles.....is almost the same feeling as looking through a photo album, there's a memory or story attached to each item. I smile remembering each story. This jewelry box is no joke, it's about 4 feet tall, and it's not like there's $100,000 worth of jewelry nestled inside. The worth, for me, doesn't come with the price tag. It comes from the story behind it, the person who gave it to me, or it could be that I bought it for myself, because I celebrate me on occasion.
About a year ago I got rid of so many clothes, I ripped through that closet like a tazmanian devil one rainy Sunday. I'm now feeling like adding some new things back in, a new dress, maybe sparkly sandals with strappy heels. It's like I can smell romance in the air. Summertime isn't usually when that happens, I think Spring thaws out Winter, both literally and configuratively speaking. And with that thaw, comes warm sun, fresh flowers, and the "twitterpated" feeling that gets renewed inside my mind and heart.
Everyone knows fall is my favorite season. I love the crackle and smell of crisp fall leaves, football, fireplaces, pumpkins, Halloween just around the corner. My favorite month is October, and my favorite months as a whole are the ones ending in "R". I try to enjoy each season as it comes, which is why I will always want to live where I can have all four seasons if they even exist anymore. (damn global warming).
But after that last snowman melts.....and the Spring air hits my face, that feeling of fresh renewal comes with it and I get, as I said, twitterpated.
One of my favorite Disney movies, Bambi:
Friend Owl: "Yes. Nearly everybody gets twitterpated in the springtime. For example: You're walking along, minding your own business. You're looking neither to the left, nor to the right, when all of a sudden you run smack into a pretty face. Woo-woo! You begin to get weak in the knees. Your head's in a whirl. And then you feel light as a feather, and before you know it, you're walking on air. And then you know what? You're knocked for a loop, and you completely lose your head!"
I love Bambi =)
So yeah, my favorite outfit is probably always going to be shorts and a tank top, or yoga pants, or jeans and a t-shirt. But I think I want a new dress. And I think there should probably be some sort of pink in it. After all, "my culuhs are blush and bashful" -Steel Magnolias

See you soon,
Tiffany

A Breakfast at Tiffany's movie night it is......then tomorrow we'll have a breakfast you would find on a New York street.....bagel anyone?

"And remember, I can still pull you over"

I think of things in pie charts sometimes. The life pie has love, fun, family, work, friends, and me. I have to have my own category just for me because I need ME time. It dawned on me this morning that I could have a Father pie. I have a lot of father figures in my life, and I'm grateful for that. Sadly, some of them are no longer here, but I will never say no longer with me. They're always with me. When it's time to get the oil changed in my car, I hear you. When I'm about to make an important decision, I hear you. I wish I would have written down more of the things you said throughout my childhood. Can I always remember? I hope so. My grandpa had the uncanny ability to make me laugh without saying a word. I don't know if it was the twinkle in his eye or the light step he had when he walked down the sidewalk. Maybe it was when he had to eventually get a hearing aid, therefore always pretending like he couldn't hear a word we were saying when in reality, I think he heard a lot more than he let on. I'm laughing as I type this, even now, thinking about that. He was ornery sometimes. There have been, and still are, so many times I've wanted to pick up the phone and call him. During the last presidential election I would have given anything to get his opinion. I can see him sitting on a patio, packing his pipe full of tobacco, getting ready for either good conversation with the men in our family, or, getting ready for just quiet patio time. But that quiet was never silent, he hummed a lot. I loved it. And I can still hear him.
My stepdad, and I really hate to even place "step" in front of the word Dad when I talk about him, but to keep things in perspective, that is who he was, was someone that I don't think any of us realized just how much we would miss when he was gone. There's an ache there still.....an empty space. But I fill it up with memories, pictures of him, and stories he told, and things he did that were so funny. My sister and her family came to Dallas for a visit several years ago. He got us all tickets to see Disney on Ice. What he failed to mention was that the tickets were for Disney on Ice in spanish. "Hola Mickey, como esta usted?" Don't get me wrong, I love attempting to speak different languages, but my 11 month old nephew didn't quite understand. And la pequeña sirena was interesting.......(The Little Mermaid).
My step dad was a superintendent for the Missouri state park system most of his life. He looked like Smoky the Bear in his uniform, and carried a gun and the license to pull you over if you were speeding through the parks. He pulled my grandpa over one day for fun. Grandpa didn't realize who it was until he rolled down his window and looked up at him. This went down in history as yet another "funniest thing he ever did" story. There are lots of those.
I felt understood when I was with him, he was so non judgemental about my decisions, even when he knew I may not be making the right choice he gently guided me without flat out saying, dude, don't be dumb. When he passed away the grief gripped all of us so tight we couldn't do anything less than band together and just let it wash away. What a slow process that was. We had the good fortune of having a very kind, articulate pastor doing the eulogy at his funeral. He appropriately ended with "and remember, I can still pull you over". Smiling through tears, laughing even, at his funeral, was something he wouldn't have had any other way.
My biological father lives in Washington State, I believe, if he's still there. Scattered contact from the time I was 16 until now. This is not meant to be a sad story mind you, it's just how it is. I'm a lot like him from what I've heard and from what I've learned by the contact we have had. I spent two weeks with him when he lived in Los Angeles, when I was 17 years old. He loves to cook, and will spend hours looking for one ingredient for a recipe from India. I haven't gone that far, but I do love to cook, always have. I have a huge binder notebook with recipes he has mailed me over time, I still haven't made all of them. He likes a neat house, things in their proper place. Very organized, loves great wine, good music, and Starbucks. He is the reason for this Starbucks addiction I have. He used to send me coffee, and a grinder, and all things Starbucks when I lived in a town in Missouri that didn't have one at the time. He would send truffles on my birthday, and wine if he found a good one in those lovely California vineyards he had access to, and ingredients that I couldnt find to make that perfect baba ghanoush. I LOVE greek food. He does too. My family has video footage of his wedding when he married my Mom, I could tell within one minute of watching it how playful he was, and thought, so that's where I get that from.

My Dad lives in the same town in Missouri that my baby sister and mom live in. I posted this status update in Facebook this morning "Any man can be a Father but it takes someone special to be a dad". We may not share DNA, but this is who I love, as my Dad. He's been my Dad legally since I was two years old, adoption papers don't mean anything to me. I have his last name, but what I really have is, my DAD. A perfect man he is not, but we are all imperfect in our own way aren't we? He was patient with us when we were growing up. Taught me how to bait a hook, begrudgingly on my end "but Dad it's just squishy, I dont want to". I drink coffee with milk in it even today, because he did for as long as I can remember. The smell of BBQ, charcoal mind you, and the sounds of summer, cicada's and splashing in the pool, remind me of him. He will be the one I call today, and when I say hi Dad, he will say, "welllllll if it isn't my favorite daughter". (yes I know he may say this to my sisters too, don't spoil my fantasy that I really AM his favorite mmkay?) I can hit a softball clear out into left field because of that patience he had. I would call him understated, he may not say much if we're sitting amongst a crowd of family, but what he does say, I listen to. Always have.

Dad, I hope you have a good day today. When I see you again, we'll have steak medium rare, just like we always have.

To all of my friends, and uncles, who have been father figures in my life, I thank you. To my friends who ARE fathers, I wish you a very happy Fathers Day.

See you soon,
Tiffany

PS If you have breakfast with my Dad and I, it will be "basted" eggs, not quite over easy, and definitely not sunnyside up, over toast.

Dia-blog

I had this thought come to me when I was thinking about actually writing in this blog that sat dormant for a while, what about a dia-blog? I have the great fortune of working with some of the funniest people I've ever met. When you work in a a farm of cubicles, all mashed together like we're waiting for crop season to arrive, you absolutely must have a sense of humor. It's just a requirement. Everyone is different, and we don't all share the same sense of humor, but my team? We crack up over the same things on a daily basis, sometimes to the point of not being able to breathe. A lot of things factor in, twelve hour days (a thing of the past lately), eating meals at our desks because we barely have time to get up and use the restroom (have you ever seen someone run at top speed toward the nearest facility?), a feeling of closeness (we sit so close together I can see their pores at times), and the knowledge of what our day will bring simply because we're used to it. New things occur every day, but for the most part, we know what's coming before we sign in each morning. Day after day, which turns into months, and even years, brings all of us to the same page. We understand each other, in such a way that an employee from a different team won't because their responsibilites are different than ours. I think of these people as my second family, my home away from home. I do spend 40 hours a week with them after all. I know without one doubt, that they would do anything for me. And I feel the same way about every one of them as well.

With all of the technology we have at our fingertips, being in telecommunication, the one thing we have that helps quite a bit is our "chat" tool. It's called Sametime, and why not. It's "sametime", right now, conversation. We don't have to dial a phone to talk to someone, racking up those long distance costs, we can just "ping" or "IM" them. We don't use those terms though, sametime has become a verb. "He sametimed me". I've said that phrase to friends before that don't work in my office and they responded with "he did WHAT to you?!"
Naturally, this means we can have discussions without being heard. Given the mention of sense of humor, I'm sure you can imagine where this can lead at any given time. Hence, my "dia-blog" idea. I thought, I have GOT to save some of these conversations, they're hilarious.
A personal favorite of mine is a coworker that turned into a best friend twelve years ago (still going strong, best friends for life we are) who insists on giving me a different nickname every morning.
Cally Entay, Serentiffany, Arach Tiffphrobia.....he.never.runs.out.of.names. He gets pretty creative, sometimes my last name is butterwhipple, or smithsonian. Prunetta Pickelberry, Bindy Andsnap (bend and snap? please tell me you know this movie), Pisa de Myheart........ He makes me laugh every day.

I hear keys clacking when I turn the corner to my cubicle, I remove my sunglasses, put my purse away, sit down, and sign in. Desktop opens, I sign into Sametime first. Do you know that some possess the art of "sametiming" me within two seconds of my name appearing in their window? I'm always in awe of this ability. "Dude are you staring at the screen waiting for me? Seriously."

A glimpse of how the morning can begin:

C123-have I mentioned to you lately that I hate people?
Me-I believe you have but lets discuss next Tuesday over coffee, k? Because I have 234 emails staring at me right now and not enough coffee to get me through the next 15 minutes let alone 8 hours.
C123-I need to know that you hear me and understand.
Me-I hear you, the President hears you, Alabama hears you, and quite possibly France.
C123-So tell me. Why in the HELL does our bathroom on the 2nd floor look like a crackhouse in Brooklyn and the 3rd floor bathroom looks like the Taj Mahal? Can you just answer me that please?
Me-People have no couth, I've explained this to you before. The rules are as follows: wear gloves but still don't touch anything, don't sit down, wash not only your hands but shower before exiting, and for the love of God DON'T touch the door handle.

Another window appears, blinking at me incessantly so I have to open it because it's annoying.
M345-I so miss you when you're on call and working from home
Me-that's a very nice thing to say, what do you want (I know buttering up when I see it people)
M345-I get lonely
Me-Honey you get lonely standing in an elevator holding 30 people, what do you want
M345-Do you know if we have an *IR open for voice orders that we can't unassign? Do you know when we'll get the fix? Do we get paid today? What IS today? Did I pick up my drycleaning?
Window closed (I'm busy) *Incident Record

V567-mornin sunshine!
There is a long pause on this one because this person is not in my inner circle and I don't need cheeriness before 9am, and as I've mentioned before, I recognize buttering up when I see it.
Me-mornin
V567-sooo what's going on this weekend?
sigh
Me-I'm moving to Alaska. There is no sametime in Alaska.

C123-did a team of horses just drive by?
Me-either that or the zoo just ran out of room and rented space out in this building

M987-could you please "do the needful" on this order
That phrase comes from our outstanding (and I mean that kindly) IT staff. They are truly brilliant, but their phrasing is not quite how we put things. I understand that they just mean, will you please fix this order. But "do the needful" seems to be what they like to use for their requests.
Me-sure I can, one moment
M987-thank you, have a good evening.
It's 8:00am in Dallas, but not in India. =)

G654-like o.m.g you would not believe what I've been through on this freakin order, it's been to Spain even and I can't even take a vacation outside of Jersey, can you please please please help me?

Do I have to speak valley-girl, LOLspeak if I do?

H349-is that really YOU in *IPM?
Me-um. If you are asking if that picture is me, yes
H349-wow its like the Mona Lisa, almost NSFW

Okay what? I'm looking for a compliment in there that seems to be drowning in a borderline unrelated to work comment. I had to ask a coworker what NSFW meant by the way. When he told me it meant not suitable for work I had two, possibly three options in my reply. Either A: thank him, B: close the window, or C: ask what he meant
Me-um, thank you, I think?
C: Im going to now write a poem.
Window closed (I'm busy) *IPM-the system endusers use to send requests to my team for assistance

And so it goes. That is a glimpse, a sheer few seconds of a blip of time in Tiffany's work world. These discussions are all silent mind you, being typed instead of verbally communicating them. I haven't used my desk phone since 2006.

Which means if you call me you'll get the Tiffany from 2006 when voicemail answers. I'm just sayin.

Have a fabulous rest of the week my friend. The cafeteria where I work has bagels, fresh fruit, and Starbucks, see you tomorrow morning for Breakfast at Tiffany's, in Irving.
Tiffany

PS I dont answer the phone at work. It just looks nice sitting on the desk, I'm in telecommunications!

We're in class right now, called Life

Dear Tiffany,

It's Friday, but you seem to have lost your T.G.I.F. spirit. This is so unlike you. You laugh and smile every day, without feeling pressured to do so, what gives?

I don't know if it's negative social media status updates. Or this oppressive Texas summertime heat and humidity. Or a friends visit from home coming to a close today, leaving me to think about being home again, or what it was like to be there in the past, closer to family. Something seems a little off, yet I push forward to thoughts of good things to come. I've been walking the beach all day in my mind, thinking.....always thinking.

Sometimes the counting of blessings works, I'm up to #27, with that being "thank GOD I have A/C" =). Notice thats a smile. Even on lower days, I still manage to do that. I've been told the person on the other end of the phone conversation can hear the smile loudly in my voice. I like knowing that.
Especially when I dispense advice like the following to a friend who is hurting:
You are *. Nothing and NO ONE can change that. Absolutely nothing. I know how you must feel, trust me. But tomorrow continues to come, and circumstances and new oppurtunities are dangling around every corner you turn. You take everything you learn with you in a little suitcase in your head and in your heart. Carrying that knowledge around with you means you're a life scholar. Almost like a professor. One day you will see that you have been okay all along. The heart muscle may hurt right now, but it won't forever. Its like this: We're in class right now, called Life. And we're constantly learning. The tuition can be high at times, but in the end, worth it I believe. Keep smiling, dont let anyone take that away from you.

Now how can I tell my friend to keep smiling if I don't do the same? That's false advertising!


This has sort of been one of those days where I question past choices. I don't do this too often, especially since I can't change them. Learn from them? Most definitely. But we shouldn't just learn from them. We should use what we learned in the next similar situation life presents.

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results" -Albert Einstein

He's not called a genius for nothing.

If your day is going like mine, ask yourself this: "Am I * today? And will I be * tomorrow?"

I am Tiffany today. And I will be tomorrow.

As the day eases into night, and work comes to a close, I'll think about you and what we'll have for breakfast tomorrow at Tiffany's. I think I'll let you decide, you're my guest.

See you soon,
Tiffany

*name not included to protect the innocent

In Review......The Soloist

"I can tell you that by witnessing Mr. Ayers's courage, his humility, his faith in the power of his art, I've learned the dignity of being loyal to something you believe in. Of holding onto it, above all else. Of believing, without question, that it will carry you home" Robert Downey Jr as Steve Lopez.

I'm late in the game quite often when it comes to seeing movies. I'm okay with that. Sometimes I like to let the hoopla die down, simmer, then the oven gets turned off completely. When it cools, I rent it (sometimes I purchase it). I've watched a lot of movies knowing absolutely nothing about the content, just rented it based on who is in it, like Ellen Page for example. Ran into a few weird movies this way, but I digress......

Jamie Foxx, you did it again. Reminded me that you really.CAN. act. Yes you can sing too, you have a great voice, but above all else, you have the ability to make me feel like I'm in the scene with you. I love that.
Jamie plays Nathaniel Ayers, a street musician who possesses unbelievable talent, yet he doesn't have a home to go to at the end of the day. I learned quickly that he's also mentally ill, and I was saddened by this. By his entire situation actually. Seeing the trouble that exists on the LA streets is tough, harsh realities coming alive on my tv screen.
But even in the midst of all of that, he plays. As if his life depends on it. I enjoy hearing the sounds of a violin, or a cello, being plucked softly, or loudly depending on the piece. The sounds of this movie made me want to pause the dialogue so I could just listen to the music.

Robert Downey Jr plays Steve Lopez, a columnist that stumbles on to Nathaniel one day by accident and like most writers I know, immediately envisions the "write this story" sign flashed above his head in bright neon lights. Steve Lopez is a guy I could be friends with. He's not perfect, definitely human with flaws, but a deep thinker and once he believes in something, he fights for it regardless of personal cost. When I see these traits in someone, I'm drawn to them. A person that goes out of their way to help, even if who they're helping comes in the form of someone society would deem "hopeless". You know that old saying, "When you help someone, in essence, you are helping yourself". I became so frustrated in the outcome of his efforts to get this obviously troubled man some medication. I held out hope for this. But since I don't give away the ending when I review a movie, I'll let you see for yourself what happens.

Throughout the movie there was an overdub of Steve's voice talking into his little recorder that writers use to save their thoughts. Because of this, I knew that his article did in fact get written. He titled it "Points West" and it began with  "A year ago, I met a man who was down on his luck and thought I might be able to help him. I don't know that I have...."

The way Nathaniel Ayers talks to himself (and others) in the movie reminded me of Rain Man. The repetitive, almost manic, use of sentences without pause, and the amazing memory that is usually focused on one topic at a time. I could tell right away that this man was no dummy. Steve learns that Nathaniel studied at Julliard, so of course that begged the question, "how did you get HERE then?"

I want you to find out how he got there. It's worth watching his journey. I have two categories when it comes to movies. Buy it, or rent it? I bought this one. I'm glad I did.

So, during breakfast, do you mind if I put Beethoven on?

See you soon,
Tiffany

"Tones sound, and roar and storm about me until I have set them down in notes" Ludwig van Beethoven

In Review......Letters To Juliet

"'What' and ‘if’ .....two words as nonthreatening as words come. But put them together side-by-side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life: ‘What if?'..."

I will say, predictable. But yet I watched.....and waited to see each scene unfold anyway. Sometimes I'm in the mood for movies like this, where you are reminded time and again, that "true love does not have an expiration date". I'm rarely moved to tears while watching a romantic movie. This is not because I'm not a lover of romance, quite the opposite actually. And maybe tonight I was in acceptance mode, I don't know. But destiny.....that word seemed to be flashing above that movie screen in neon lights. Do I believe in destiny? I do, but I also think your choices combined with circumstances play a huge role in the outcome. Fate may lend you a hand, but you have to play the hand. If you fold, well......fate tried, right?
For myself, there is no way I can watch a movie like this and not think about my own choices along the way. I'm a girl, come on. =)
Sophie, played by Amanda Seyfried, finds herself in Italy on what could be a honeymoon, yet she isn't married yet. In a fictional lover's Verona courtyard, she finds a fifty year old unanswered letter to "Juliet" behind a brick in a wall of hundreds of them. Because she has already made friends with a group of women who call themselves "Juliets Secretaries" she decides to answer this particular letter herself. That's what these women do, they collect the letters that are placed on that brick wall, where people have visited in droves each day, and answer them, one.by.one. I SO want that job. You're answering someone's question of, "I love, what do I do?" I don't know if I would always have the right answer for them. But I know I would enjoy trying to find it.
The kind of relationship Sophie has with her fiance, Victor (Gael Garcia Bernal) becomes apparent immediately. At least it did for me. It reminded me of something I said to a friend once, and this is not my own quote mind you. "The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference". (Elie Wiesel)
I know movie reviews usually tell the entire story, but I don't want to do that here.

Sophie replies to Claire (Vanessa Redgrave) the writer of the letter she found: (excerpt)
"I don't know how your story ended. But I know that if what you felt then was love - true love - then
it's never too late. If it was true then it why wouldn't it be true now? You need only the courage to
follow your heart..."

And so it goes. The quest to find Claire's true love. Fifty years after she walked away from him without explanation. If you like this kind of story, you're going to love this movie like I did. Don't go in thinking you already have it figured out though....

See you soon. If there is any way we can have an Italian breakfast I think we should. Google Italia!
Tiffany