Is it really better to give than to receive?

Just a few nice words.....go a long way.

I decided that since I can't get all of my social media friends a gift this holiday season, I would leave them a comment on their facebook wall instead. I dubbed it "Drive-By Facebooking". I wasn't sure if it was a good idea then realize, uh hello, I'm pretty cool so why wouldn't this be a good idea? =)

I have a few friends in there. Once I started I realized, geez this could take a while. So I'm spacing it out over the course of the weekend. I haven't had time to write on everyone's wall yet. But the response so far? Exactly what I expected. People love to hear kind words written about them. Of course they do. Why wouldn't it make ones day to discover an unexpected, kind message in Facebook?

I've told friends before that kind words go a long way. I know it sounds cliche, but I don't care. If you take just a few minutes, seconds even, to say something nice to someone, it has the potential to totally change their day. Words are powerful, if you think otherwise you're kidding yourself. This of course can go both ways. Negative comments go just as far as positive comments. Those that know me well know which side I live on.

Here's the deal. None of us know what each other is going through. A total stranger might appear to be the happiest person on the planet, when, in reality, they are sad over some unfortunate circumstance in their life. If we begin to understand this, would it help at all to have us start to be kind? It's not like it's hard work. It just takes a few words. "You're awesome" "I love what you're wearing" "I think you do that amazingly well" "it's going to get better"....I can go on.

I'm going to continue with my quest until it's complete.

And I'm starting to think it makes me feel better than the recipient. Is it really better to give than to receive?

You decide.

I'll see you soon!
Tiffany

PS My mom is visiting. Translation: I have my own personal chef, everything in my apartment is in order, and I get to take her to all of my favorite Dallas places. It's pretty fabulous. Especially the awesome Breakfast venues. Breakfast at Tiffanys isn't always at Tiffanys. It's just.....wherever I happen to be.

The thing is, I don't need anything

I was talking with a coworker (who also happens to be a friend) today about the holidays. This time of year....and what it means to different people. He told me that he really doesn't want to call himself a scrooge per se, but he doesn't fall into anything "traditional" very easily. His tradition is to break tradition and do his own thing. Nothing wrong with that.
This led to us discussing our childhood, what Christmas meant back then and what it has become for us now.

"When I was a kid, I didn't understand the 'Overhead' that comes with this time of year. I just knew that Santa came and brought me toys and everyone was happy and there was a ton of food around, including all kinds of sugary things, available for my grabbing. Now that I'm an adult, I see the 'Overhead' as if it's a flashing neon sign above the word December. And I don't care for it. All of the hustle and bustle, the expectations needing to be met, creating a schedule not unlike a hurried frenzy where you feel like you're going to drop dead after racing through stores on the weekend"

I understood exactly what he meant. I have a different view of the holidays than I did as a kid growing up. It's not a negative view necessarily, just a different one. I was lucky in that, I have a Mom, who I think handled telling me about who Santa really is in an eloquent way. She said Santa is the magic of Christmas. The wonderful, we can't see it but we know it's there, awesome feeling that adds sparkle to the idea of the holiday. Deep down I knew that she was gently telling me that Santa wasn't real in the physical form, but the idea of him would always be with me. She told the truth, but very gently, and kept it intriguing for me. I was nine years old, I believe, when I asked her about it.

We talked about what we like to call "foo foo" dinners that people host for the holidays, the clink of beautiful china, sparkling wine goblets, lit taper candles, everyone at the table dressed in their best.....this can be an awesome thing. We both said if our families do this sort of thing, we enjoy it and thank them. And mean it.

But what we would really like to do is have a table filled with hot wings and appetizers and buckets of cold beer, and wine, and have our friends/family over for game night. I have to tell you, that this is my favorite. I'm liking things to be simple more and more these days. I still love to decorate a gorgeous, twinkly Christmas tree. And then sit and look at the lights. This quiet time is a must. For me anyway.


What do I want for Christmas, besides the cure for cancer, and other yucky diseases, and excellent health and happiness for my family and friends, and love for those who are hurting, and paid off bills for those that are struggling.....?

I told my friend a glass of wine or cold beer would be fine. We laughed, but both felt the intended simpleness of the statement. The thing is, I don't need anything. Oh sure, I would love to have new things, maybe a new outfit, new furniture for my living room, a new mahogany desk for my room, a new stereo. I really should list the stereo first because mine needs replaced in a bad way, trust me.

I love December. The frosty air, snow if I'm lucky, the sound of bells in the stores, and people coming together to help donate things to those less fortunate. The holidays can be a hard time of year for some people. I can only hope that on Christmas Eve/Day, no matter where they are or what the circumstances are, that warmth that comes from happy, fills them up when they didn't think it would, pleasantly surprising them.

And they are at peace.

I hope you are enjoying this holiday season so far. We have seven shopping days left, can you believe that?

See you soon,
Tiffany

PS Yes Virginia......there really is

Peace

Peace.....

I'm filled with it today. I've had a cold that's lingered longer than I wanted it to. Well okay I don't want it to visit at ALL but since it did, I wanted it to go away as soon as possible.
I'm feeling much better today, and with that brings just silliness. I woke up knowing that my coworkers were more than likely in for it, when I get in this mood one never knows what the day will bring at work. I love to laugh, when I can make someone else laugh, especially if they aren't in the greatest of moods, it makes my day. And since I know I can sing so well, I do that out loud for their enjoyment. *ahem*

My happies for the day so far:

My cousin, who is beating cancer again, got released from the hospital yesterday. I'm very much at peace with this, after the chemo rounds are finished, she can get back to her life as she knew it before, nothing short of fabulous.

We have a toy drive going on at work, so I got to meet the new and improved Mr.Potato Head this morning. Sounds lame doesn't it? It's NOT I tell you, he's awesome! But he got a lot bigger over the years. I had to tweet the handsome new Mr.Potato Head because he's so cute.
See?

I realized that my holiday social calendar is filling up rather quickly, so I had to do a quick check balance to make sure I wasn't over-extending, I'm not a fan of that. I've talked about down time being necessary before, but I find it especially necessary during the holidays. All this "hustle and bustle" as they call it, the mad rush, the frantic shopping and whatnot can take away from what this month is supposed to celebrate. Peace. But I will say, I'm very much looking forward to all of the upcoming events.

Realizing how long I've been friends with someone and then seeing a comment from them on my blog? yeah, that's pretty much the coolest thing ever.

I've decided that I'm going to start running. Since I don't consider myself a runner now, this may be a slow process at first. I really want to do the Jingle Bell run in Dallas this month, I don't know how far I would "run" and I hear that walking is fine too, that it's just fun to participate. I'll be checking into this more soon.

Knowing that my Christmas Tree is up, decorated, and waiting for me to get home and turn the lights on. I love sitting quietly and looking at it. I want to watch a Christmas movie tonight, not sure which one I will choose. Stay tuned.

Sharing my life with two of my favorite people on the planet in email most of the day today.....thoroughly enjoyable. We call it the Girls Club.

This is playing in the background as I wrap this post up.....I told you, I'm at peace today.



I hope your December is going well, and there will be a lot of celebration in it. But also a lot of, peace. Reflection. Get-togethers. Family. Love. Wine. (hey it's Wine Wednesday, it has to be mentioned). And wishes coming true.

Thank you for visiting my online home, I care about you.
Tiffany

PS What do you have for breakfast Christmas morning? My mom is coming to Dallas this year for the holidays. It's going to be a great ending to 2010.

Keep the aloe handy, just in case

I have this faded scar on my left hand about a half inch below my knuckle. When I glanced at it earlier today I realized that when this incident occurred, I thought "This is never going to go away" and I wasn't happy. It's not very big, but I still didn't like the thought of being scarred for life. If I didn't tell you it was there you probably wouldn't even notice it now.
I was taking cornish hens out of the oven on New Years Day, 2010. Instead of using an oven mit on my left hand I grabbed a hot pad instead. I accidentally grazed the top of the oven as I was pulling out the heavy pan they were baking in. It hurt like hell, but I immediately put aloe on it, hoping for the best, and that my fridge had a cold beer in it for medicinal purposes. It didn't sadly, but I had a glass of wine. (It's a miracle drink you know).

I'm pretty sure the fading that it has done over the months following, all the way to this last month of the year, has finished its course. Leaving me with an "I can barely see it" reminder of what I was doing on New Years Day.

I think that as we go through life there are often scars left that we can't see. There is the physical kind, like the one on my hand. But there are emotional kinds as well. Every situation we encounter can be a lesson, if we're paying attention. I've been taught by decisions, ones I have made and decisions made by others. I've been taught by people in general. Maybe living vicariously through them, for an example. The lesson learned may be an easy one, or one that was difficult, but either way I still learned.

My scar healed, and reminds me once in a while, oh yeah, I forgot to use an oven mit that one time. Have I made that same choice since then? I have not. I use one every time now.

If you are hurting over something, let it start to heal now. Yes, you may end up with a scar. But.....you learned something didn't you?

Keep the aloe handy, just in case. Literally, it can save your skin. Figuratively, it may come in the form of a good friend who listens well. Or a parent. Maybe even your pet. Hey, they listen and love you unconditionally! A sibling.....a spouse.....the list goes on.

See you soon friend,
Tiffany

PS Starbucks is doing a "12 Days of Sharing" promotion during this month of "giving". If you have text capability you can text 12DAYS to 29943 to see what the deal is for each day. Want to meet for coffee tomorrow at my place of nirvana? =)

I don't know what cancer feels like

I'm writing, coming from a very long drive back to Dallas from home. A friend that also lives in Dallas, commented to me, "be careful driving back, I won't call it home per se". She is from Missouri too, and I understood what she meant. Missouri is where most of my family is, save a few that are scattered on the west and east coasts. But when I walked through the front door, and turned my Christmas wreath lights on, and the tree(s), and smelled the smells of where I live, I thought, but......this is my home. I fought that idea for the first two years after I moved to Dallas.
I don't think I'm doing that anymore.
My home is where I am. Where I live, work, play. I miss my family, especially around the holidays. But I'm lucky. I get to go home often, and they get to visit me here too. There are men and women serving in the armed forces that won't get to be with their families for the 2010 Holiday Season. That is just one example of why I feel lucky. I've never really been one to do the "woe is me" thing. Things may not be going exactly how I want them to be, at times. But, I constantly do the small reminder check list. I'm healthy, my job is decent, I like where I live, I have a multitude of friends, etc. The list can go on forever, I just check it every once in a while, adding things to it. I think that's why I usually cringe inwardly when I overhear someone complaining about something small, that in the big picture, really isn't the tragedy they make it out to be.

My cousin Serenity has cancer. Again. I haven't heard her complain one time since she found out this terrible news. If anyone has the right to scream, complain, throw themselves to the floor.....it's her.
But she wrote a lovely blog post instead. Telling us, her avid readers, "How It Feels" http://www.serenitybohon.com/2010/11/how-it-feels.html

I loved it. After spending Thanksgiving Day with her, on the drive from one small town to another (the "other" being my early childhood hometown) I was looking at the gorgeous sunset, listening to music, and thinking, Seren wrote what she felt about how "it feels". Then I thought, but it's also not how "it looks" either.  I don't know what cancer feels like. I hope I never have to know. I hate that she does. But I think cancer is ugly. It should dwell in ugly, because I don't like it, not in the slightest. It should be drab with no personality. It should have no talent, no voice, no artistic advantage over the rest of us.

So what is it doing in her?

It's trespassing on her property. Where she lives, works, and plays. Her home. Cancer has NO place in the beautiful face you see above.

I want it to be evicted immediately. Served papers, and then shown off the property.

That is my Christmas wish for 2010, in case you're taking notes Santa.

Would you please keep Serenity in your thoughts tomorrow, and the next day, and all week? (Surgery, immediately followed with intense Chemotherapy) This is one solicitation that I don't mind doing. I'm sure you understand.
Thank you friend,
Tiffany

PS We have to meet somewhere for breakfast tomorrow, this house has not one morsel of food in it. Oh.... except coffee. And tea. These are food groups, yes?

The grid needs one less traveler, if only for a while.....

"She's taking a BREAK, she NEEDS a BREAK!" -Johnny Castle a la Dirty Dancing

I think going off the grid for a bit is needed at times, don't you?

Vacations can bring a fabulous going off the grid feeling. The tide rolling in on the shore, me sitting in the sand and drinking it in. Seeing the lights come on at dusk on the Eiffel Tower. Cruising over ocean waters headed to island destinations....2011 I hear you! And I'll be there.
Family visits in my hometown, an absolute favorite way for me to take a break. I'm very excited for Thanksgiving 2010 and the promises it has been whispering to me for weeks now. My sisters and I in the same room, my happiest of happy places.

I was thinking about when I gave up Facebook for lent this year (told you I could do it) and the social media break that provided. To be honest I did that mostly because I was told I couldn't. My ears don't hear that phrase very well. Combine that with stubborness, and well.....there you have it. *Please note I did not give up twitter, my most favorite social media haven. Those people are just awesome, plain and simple. My Facebook family is awesome too.

But I think the grid needs one less traveler, if only for a while. When I leave for my visit home, I'll be taking my journal with me as usual. With my family I know there will be so many funny stories to write down I will more than likely wear out my pen. I'll definitely be scheduling an interview with my brave cousin who has had the unfortunate luck of cancer trespassing once again in her life. Am I doing this because of cancer? No. I've wanted to do this for a while anyway, she's a fascinating person, and soon to be published author. You hear me New York? Get on it.

I've got some little people I want to interview too. Nieces who light up the room just by being in it. A nephew that speaks to me over the phone using 30 yr old intellect, who is, in reality, only 9 yrs old....

I won't be gone long. But I want to say this to you regarding our upcoming holiday.

I am thankful, for the things I have been given. So I want to wish you, a very Happy Thanksgiven.

See you soon friend,
Tiffany

PS Let's have breakfast at Cafe Brazil soon. To.die.for.

Top Ten Favorites on a Friday

These are a few of my favorite things

1. Loooooong weekends, wherein my Friday was a Thursday, and my Monday won't be a Monday.

2. The promise of seeing my very large family in a week or so. Nothing makes me smile more than knowing this.

3. Impending visits from friends from home. (Missouri)

4. Thunderstorms. I woke up to one this morning, one of my all time favs.

5. Random text messages that make me laugh out loud, to the point of almost spitting coffee. (I didn't, thank God, so my dignity is intact. So far anyway)

6. The thought that in the fall of 2011 I will be cruising through the Cayman Islands.

7. Weddings. Because they celebrate love and new beginnings.

8. Cancer research. We will win this battle one day.

9. Starbucks Red Cups are out. <-----I love this.

10. The Beatles, singing how I feel...."give me love, give me love, give me...peace on earth"



I hope you have an amazing weekend friend. I think the breakfasts are going to be mostly protein around here, I'm on a mission! Join me....

See you soon,
Tiffany

Say Cheese!

My poor little sister thinks she is the forgotten child because, being the last born, there aren't as many baby pictures of her as there are of me, and my middle sister. I've heard parents say that this happens often. With the first child one ends up with two thousand pictures in the first three months. Oh I exaggerate, but you understand what I am saying.
She asked my mom, and my other sister to look through our pictures to see if we have any of her under the age of three. Naturally I immediately thought, well surely Mom has some.
But this made me start digging through my mountains of pictures anyway, as I would do anything for my sister(s).
As I began the trek down memory lane I found myself laughing (hysterically at some points) at some of the pictures I had totally forgotten about.

Now that I've spent a major amount of time sifting through my life in photos, I'm left with these thoughts:

1: Please wait until all eyes are on you before clicking the button on the camera. It makes no sense to have a picture of four people looking so far away from you they can see Europe.

2: Why in the H didn't I leave my hair alone?

3: Who told me I looked fantastic in that outifit? WHO? I hold them responsible.

4: Date your pictures immediately. Include the names of the people in the picture. Or it will haunt you, trying to remember that cute kids name that pulled your pigtails in the third grade.

5: It's not attractive to have your picture taken while you are consuming food.

6: You are judged by the company you keep. It is then sealed forever in a photo if your friends love capturing the moment. Choose wisely people.

7: My family is huge, and we're all crazy. (I'm laughing as I type this because I love them all something fierce, you know I'm kidding fam) ahem *cough* kind of.

8: Don't cross your eyes when someone is taking your picture. Just don't.

9: Don't let your small children get their hands on the camera <----------it was me, and every picture is blurry.

10: Make sure the camera is turned off before you walk away, otherwise you will have many pictures of the floor and walls.

11: Open,your.eyes. when someone is taking a picture of you <------I'm talking to myself here.

12:  For the girls, regarding makeup: less is more.

13: Please don't make the subject of your picture say cheese. Or anything else. Just let them naturally smile. (I'm half kidding here, people usually make me laugh every single time they take my picture. But um, that explains half of these expressions I'm seeing in the photos, just sayin)

14: Snow falling after it's dark really doesn't photograph well. You won't need the twenty shots you just took.

That about sums up part of my morning today. Now go get your photo albums out and take a look.

I see you nodding, you agree with me on some of these don't you?

See you soon friend,
Tiffany

PS I think tomorrow we shall have something banana-y for breakfast. Mmkay? But NO pictures while we are eating.

May He Live In Peace-In Review "Charlie St. Cloud"

I tried pretty hard to stay away from all of the fanfare about the movie based on the book "Charlie St. Cloud" . I was intrigued by what little that I had read about the story, and if you agree with me, we all know that the movie is rarely as good as the book. In fact, at times, the movie just butchers the story, leaving little shreds of what was actually put from pen to page.

I succeeded, I still haven't seen the movie and I'm not sure that I want to. I couldn't put this book down. I kept thinking, there is no way that movie is going to capture what I received from the story. I may be wrong, and who knows, if a friend says, "hey lets watch this", I'll probably cave.

I read this line, "Splotches of phosphorus streaked the sky in a stormy fireworks show" (pg 55) and thought, I love reading books that include phrases like these. It's a simple one, but still.

As I've done with every review I've written, I'm not going to give away the entire content of this story, and definitely not the ending. If I do that, you may not read it. And I want you to read it.

When I got to the meat of the story, it made me think about the afterlife. What really does happen when we die? Is there really an 'in-between' world where we can exist, and then decide when we're ready to cross all of the way over?

Charlie made a promise to his little brother, Sam. "Promise you won't leave me" Sam says to him. I learned quickly that Charlie is the type of person who doesn't break promises. But here's the thing; Sam is no longer amongst the living. Told in an amazing way, the story leads you to understand that there is something unbelievable happening. The two brothers have found a way to spend time with each other, every evening at dusk. In order for this to happen, though, Charlie has to be there at dusk, every day. Otherwise Sam may "disappear" forever.

I totally understood Charlies decision. But then he meets Tess, a captivating woman training for a solo sailing trip around the world. Then, it's as if he slowly begins to realize, "have I really chosen to live?" (come on, you didn't think there wouldn't be a girl did you?)

When I read interesting stories like these, that have no bearing on my life story in any way, I still find a way to make them plausible for me. No, I can't see "ghosts", I don't really believe in them and don't need the universe to change my mind. Would I like to see loved one's that I've lost, to have a conversation and be around them? Well I think the answer is, of course I would. But there will be a time and place for that, at least I think so.

But right now I'm living. Trying to live life out loud anyway.  Not be so afraid of things, relationships, getting hurt, all of that nonsense. It's very easy to not let myself get too close to someone. But, just like Charlie, I, at times, ask myself, "have I really chosen to live?" So what if I get hurt. It's not a perfect world, this I know. But I can make my world as perfect for me as possible, by just being myself.

There was a tug and pull all the way throughout this story, reading about Charlie wrestling with the two worlds.

Find out what he decides, get the book. I recommend it.

See you soon,
Tiffany

PS Tess named her boat "Querencia", a Spanish word that is hard to translate but basically it applies to where one feels safe. Wouldn't it be cool to have breakfast on a boat like that, sailing across ocean waters?

Why not shoot for the moon?

This won't be a post where I discuss one of my favorite authors, Nicholas Sparks. I can do that at some point, but not today. We'll save that for later.
When I viewed my blog today, which is the quickest way to see if any of my "favorites" posted, I saw one of my quotes pop up on the bottom right side of the window. Not quotes by me, but quotes by others, that I've selected through GoodReads. I added the widget to my blog when I found out that the quote changes every time the page is refreshed.

"Nothing that’s worthwhile is ever easy. Remember that."— Nicholas Sparks


Of course I agree with him. But I am going to say partially. Ever easy? That seems locked down to me. I think there are times that we can make things harder than they have to be.
 
Are you an over-thinker like I can be at times? It depends on the subject. One of the main things I am constantly aware of is the feeling that I've offended someone. Not a fan, not in the slightest. I've been told to "relax" and "stop thinking so much" before. Well, I hear you friends, but I really do care about this.
 
Related to work, if someone is given a project to do, I've heard team members involved state this phrase on the conference calls, "let's not re-invent the wheel here okay?" An example of making things harder than they have to be in the office.
 
I like to pretend that I've lived in Dallas long enough to know my way around to just about anywhere within a 50 mile radius. But that's not always the case. I've taken the long way a few times, only to realize once I reach my destination that there was a much shorter, easier way, to get there. Live and learn as they say. Just an example of me, making the journey harder than it had to be. (I enjoyed the ride though)
 
I think what Nicholas is meaning, is this: "If it's something worthwhile, you're going to have to work really hard at it". I agree with him. It's hard for me to understand when someone doesn't give something they claim to really want, a hundred percent of themselves.
 
If it's important to me, I'm going to fold myself in the middle of it, and roll it all around me so I am the center. Then, I'm going to work my butt off to get it done. I feel better working this way, if I give it my best shot I know that I left nothing that could possibly unravel.
 
I believe there are people that are afraid to raise the bar too high. As if failure is inevitable before they begin. I've been in this place at times. I'm just slowly realizing that I don't care for it. Why not shoot for the moon? Why not.
 
This can be applied to relationships, work, even play. To my male friend who thinks he's not good enough for her. Ask her out anyway, you're going to surprise yourself. To my coworker who says, "I'm not smart enough to take this on!". Yes.You.Are. To a best friend who wants to play softball but says, "but I'm so not an athlete". So what! Get that glove on your hand and get out on that field, you enjoy playing.
 
Steadily raising the bar......I am.
 
See you soon friend,
Tiffany
 
PS I'm really into egg white omelets right now. If you want to try one, I'll make it for you. If that sounds like "not-so-much" to you, there's always pancakes. <--------see how easy that was?

In which, I get a root canal on a Friday

I don't know what possesses me sometimes. Yes I know, it's that time of year. Haunted spirits, ghostly apparitions, eerie music.....That's not what I mean though. I don't know what I was thinking when I scheduled a root canal on a Friday before noon.

Dentist: so hey when do you want to do this?
Me, clearly under the influence: HEY! HOW ABOUT NEXT FRIDAY, YAY!
?
Maybe I was looking for an excuse to stay home and do nothing on a Friday.

Dear Tiffany, you don't need an excuse. If you want to stay home on a Friday, do it. Don't be so dramatic.

The usual dread didn't overcome me until, oh about 10:30a when I needed to get ready to go. You know this feeling, right?
The common sense side tells you, "you won't feel a thing, be a good girl and get in there and take care of your teeth".
The panic, don't-make-me-go side tells you, "oh my God he's going to climb inside my mouth and wreak havoc on every root and nerve I have and I'm going to DIE.FROM.THE.PAIN!!!!!"

Don't be ridiculous I said to the latter. I won't feel it. I have a high threshold for pain anyway. Bring it, I can take anything you dish out! Suddenly I hear the theme to Rocky playing and I opt to wear work-out attire, rather than jeans, a t-shirt, and flip flops (my standard uniform when working from home).

Like everyone else probably does, I brushed my teeth twice as long before I left, flossed, rinsed several times with that refreshing mouthwash he gave me on the last visit, and.....off I go. Armed with coffee (so much for refreshing breath) my phone, purse, keys, sunglasses, and an attitude that spoke volumes about how this wasn't going to bother me in the slightest.

Why, on days where you're not headed towards the most fun thing in the world, is the weather just beautiful? Coincidence I suppose. But seriously, today was gorgeous. Bright sunshine, perfect temperature, low humidity, not a cloud in the sky.

I'm going to an endodontist for this adventure, one I've never seen before. After I turn around twice, I finally find the office, conveniently nestled in between an insurance office and a funeral home. Trying not to notice the irony, I go in and before I can say a word the receptionist says, "Are you Tiffany?" I was thinking oh hell am I late? Have you been watching out the window for me to get here because I'm holding up patients?
Me: "yes"

"GREAT! Just sign in right here for me please. I'll need your drivers license, insurance card, and I'll just give you this now so you can start filling out the 8-pages of information we'll need".
She gave me a laptop people. Look how far we've come. Gone are the days of clip-boards with a chewed off pen attached to string so you won't steal it. Now they hand you a $400 device that will make your life so much easier.
I fill out the paperwork, sign the last page like I'm in kindergarten writing with crayons (every time I sign something electronically, the signature looks like I'm on medication but ran out of it 3 days ago). With a sense of accompolishment I take the laptop back to her. She said , "GREAT!" (very cheery people for those that are about to send me to a dungeon where they pull my roots out from under my teeth with wire instruments).

"Okay now we'll need to get your picture".
?
Me, to myself: "Am I in the right building? is this the CIA? are they going to ask me for fingerprints? what the H?"
I smile at a box so tiny I don't see how it can capture even one tooth much less my whole face. She then cheerily tells me that "Amanda" will be in to get me soon. I turn to sit down, but before I can, "Tiffany?"
Good grief people, can I have a moment to collect my thoughts here? Sheesh.
I smile at her, "right this way" she says. Oh God, now my turn has come. It's the moment of reckoning, the one where you think about every transgression you've ever participated in since the 5th grade.
She is a REALLY happy person. I also wonder about her degree because she looks to be about twelve years old and should be wearing Mouse ears......"M....I....C....see ya real soon!"

She has me put my purse in the corner, and lay back in the chair. Then she lays the v e r y h e a v y blanket over me that protects you when they do x-rays. The contraption she has me bite down on, in awkward positions in my mouth, can only be compared to a wire jigsaw puzzle. But this is the easy part so I'm almost asleep I'm so relaxed. The dentist takes your blood pressure now, so we do that. I'm "surprisingly normal" she says. I said "well, I normally don't have high blood pressure". She said, "yes but people are nervous when they come in so we expect high readings".

No sooner than we were done with all of this "easy" stuff then here he comes, the tooth adonis himself. See what I did there? Keep reading. Okay yes, I'm going to say, the man was very handsome. But he's about to put a chainsaw in my mouth so I don't care how cute he is. He shakes my hand, I notice he smiles with his eyes. Love that.
He wastes no time in getting right down to it. Looks over the x-ray, tells me that the tooth he will be working on is this one <-----------he points. And while he's working I will feel nothing. If that is not the case, I am to tell him so, and he will make it so I don't. I am now noticing the most awesome accent I've ever heard but I can't put my finger on it. He asks me to lay back, the chair is now leaning waaaaay back. Amanda puts clear glasses on me so I don't get any "liquid" in my eyes.
He says, I'm glad they're clear, you can still see her blue eyes through them.
sigh. "You're going to hurt me aren't you. You're now flirting because you know I'm about to be writhing in pain at your hands" I didn't say it, was just thinking it.
He asks me to close my eyes before I can see his hands, smart move Mr. Endodontist, you don't want me to see the needle the size of Brooklyn do you. He places the numbing Q-tip in there for a minute, then explains that he wants me to breathe and it may be a bit uncomfortable for a minute but he wants to get me very numb. Several shots later, I can already feel the side of my mouth tingling then fading to nothing. He asks, "comfortably numb?" I started laughing, with MY MOUTH OPEN (not attractive) and he said, oh are you a Pink Floyd fan too?
I love him.

He taps my cheek gently and asks if I can feel it, I can't thank God.
They begin their descent underneath my temporary crown. As he begins he says "so you're probably trying to figure out where I'm from huh"

Why. Why do dentists do this. I can't have a conversation when my mouth is clamped open and is dry because the sunction artist has the hose hovering over my tonsils.

I kind of shrug a little, like, "maybe". Confession, I wasn't. I did wonder about the accent, but my current concern is when the first nerve was going to stand up and say, get out of here before I kill you.
He went on to say, "well I'm not going to tell you. I want to see if you can figure it out. I will give you one hint, I don't speak Spanish and I am not from Spain or Mexico".

So I have an assignment now? Will there be a test at the end? Can I just concentrate on breathing through this?

He continues on, telling me how great it's going and asking me if I'm okay. I truly did not feel anything but slight pressure through out this entire procedure. It took about 25 minutes total if I'm calculating right.
When he was done, he said that he wanted me to sit there for a few minutes and take some Advil (that they provided). He then explained that medication wouldn't be necessary after, as in, no antibiotics, and no pain meds.
My heart sank. You mean to tell me, that when this "comfortably numb" wears off, all I have to take the edge off of this gum/root massacre is ADVIL?
But I want the good stuff. I immediately go into a slight pout that I was hoping went unnoticed. He laughed and asked if I got my way with that often. aHA!
He said, listen. I'm not a fan of pain medication unless it's absolutely necessary. I want you to try ibuprofen or advil and let me know if it's too bad for you to handle. I will call something in.
Fine!
He shook my hand again and said "you did great today". "If you need anything at all please give me a call".

Right as he was leaving I said, "Greece".

He turned around, stunned, and said, "no one ever gets it right!"
=)

Well I am here to tell you, it didn't get me pain medication, and I definitely felt like I needed it when the numbness wore off. But I took more ibuprofen and am happy to report that all is well in the land of Tiffany.

But would you mind picking me up for Breakfast tomorrow? It's still Breakfast at Tiffany's if I'm with you, and I don't think I'll feel like cooking.

See you soon friend,
Tiffany

PS Floss. After every meal. And see your dentist every 6 months for your routine cleaning/check up.
Okay?

Refresh

I just commented on a favorite blog of mine, http://www.serenitybohon.com/ (please visit, she's a breath of fresh air), discussing the "refresh" button at the top right of my browser window.
I clicked the button, and there was a new post for me to read on Serenitys blog. YAY doesn't encompass how I feel about that. Or her for that matter. My family received a real gem when she married into it, let me just tell you.

I like the word refresh.

It's been a long week as far as work goes. Add some new rather excruciating workouts in the mix, and me breaking a rule and going to a movie on a "school" night, and.....well, I'm rather tired. I couldn't say no to the invitation, we saw Case 39. But I'll review that in a future post.

I've often thought of Fridays five o'clock hour as, exhale. Hello weekend. As I drove home today in the bright, fall sunshine, I left my windows all the way down and drove like I was in a convertible. It felt like it to me anyway. My hair was all over the place, but I didn't care. Flipped the radio on, of course nothing good was playing. Switched to the CD in the player and sang along with John Lennon. "you may say, I'm a dreamer. But I'm not the only one......" (may you R.I.P. John, you would have been 70 yrs old today)

As I got closer to home, I felt the need for total down time. Yes I have laundry going, and "smells good" things cooking, and probably a movie in the near future. But for me, this is down time. It's been a while since I've stayed home on a Friday night. Quite frankly, I think I should continue this trend. Saturday has all kinds of possibilities if one wakes up,

"Refreshed"

I'm looking forward to sunrise, I hope I don't sleep through it.

I hope you're having an awesome Friday. And the weekend brings a wish or three.

See you friend,
Tiffany

PS #Mizzou you can stay undefeated, let me see it. KC Chiefs, so can you. LET ME SEE IT. I'll make you breakfast, I swear!

Top Ten on a Saturday

I woke up wearing pigtails, giggling. I have no idea what I was dreaming about but whatever it was, made me smile so lets assume I was walking the streets of Paris or some such fabulous adventure.

My top ten favorites of the week:

1. This GORGEOUS early fall weather. Dallas, I forgive you for the triple digits. You make up for it so well in October, nicely played.

2. #Mizzou bye weeks, #Chiefs bye weeks. I know right? Sounds weird. But I want my favorite teams to get some rest. And this allows me to wear my longhorns shirt, HOOK'em!!

3. Nieces in shining pink football jerseys who are named after me, and are adorable.

4. Haikus. I've somehow developed a love for these 5 syllable, 7 syllable, 5 syllable little stories. I'm in awe of people that can write one in 60 seconds, it's amazing.

5. Forgiveness and reconnecting with old friends.

6. Have I mentioned October yet? My favorite month of the year, and with it brings Halloween, my favorite holiday. I love Thanksgiving and Christmas too, but Halloween kicks it off at the end of my favorite month, and during my favorite season, fall.

7. Random text messages that make me laugh out loud.

8. Quiet Saturday mornings with the windows open, a great day stretched out in front of me....

9. Friends making plans for a cruise next year, and including me.....

10. Coffee. In large quantities.

I hope you have an awesome weekend my friend. Breakfast? I'll see you there.....
Tiffany

Do people come to you for advice?

I love to read. It's part of my daily routine. Sometimes I read in the morning, this usually happens only on the weekends. Through the week I read before I go to sleep. I've been reading more today because I woke up to pouring rain splattering against the windows. I so love these kinds of days. I stay quiet, and don't necessarily reach for a book right away. What better time to gather your thoughts than in the morning when it's silent, except for nature having a party outside your bedroom window?

But this morning I was reading a quote someone sent me, along with the question, "what do you think about this?"

"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.” Erica Jong (American writer and feminist, 1942)

The first thing I did before I pondered the quote was research who said it. From info I found online, I loved that the person who asked me what I thought about the quote was a guy. (A few of the male friends I have aren't into feminism, just sayin)

"Erica Jong-novelist, poet, and essayist-has consistently used her craft to help provide women with a powerful and rational voice in forging a feminist consciousness. She has published twenty books, including eight novels, six volumes of poetry,six books of non-fiction and numerous articles in magazines and newspapers such as the New York Times, the Sunday Times of London, Vogue, and the New York Times Book Review" (review taken from http://www.ericajong.com/abouterica.htm)




"Impressive" I mused to myself. At least I'm impressed. I like poetry, love reading books and short essays, articles...... and have to admit I don't mind a feminist opinion expressed with gumption. I'm not a soap box type of person, but I admire those that speak their minds, and aren't afraid to do so.

What do I think about the quote.....I pondered while laying there listening to the rain. There is probably some truth to it. I am sure that I've formed an idea of what I want to do, before I've asked someone for advice. Even if the idea was small, and undecided. I think we reach out to others for advice to see if they provide a perspective we haven't thought of.
I do agree that there are those that ask for advice because they're looking for one person to tell them an alternate version of reality, regarding the situation.

I have to say though, that sometimes we really don't know the answer. We seek others opinions because we don't know which way to turn. I've often wondered if I offer the wrong advice to someone, and it doesn't turn out well for them when they follow it, how will that make me feel in the end? With that thought in mind, instead of saying, "Do this", I say, "Let's look at all sides of the issue first".

Do people come to you for advice? I think it's a compliment in a way. Your opinion is valuable to them, and they trust your instincts. I'm grateful for anyone that comes to me with, "hey, what do YOU think?"

Here is my advice for this weekend:
Embrace everything great, let go of everything negative. Then hug those you love, and tell them that you do. That they're important in your life.

I think Monday will come with a smile.

See you soon friend,
Tiffany

P.S. I had brunch with friends this morning, I found that their company is what made the food so tasty. But the homemade bread? to.die.for. =)

Who really inspires me is the friend that pushes me to be better....

You know what inspires me?

Art. Looking at beautiful paintings, portraits, photographs, chalk drawings, sand art (while walking a beach).

Music. It can totally change the mood of my day. I rely on it much like an old friend, because that's how I perceive it.

Random Acts of Kindness. Even if they're not random. Just acts of kindness period. Especially when done with no expectation of a return.

The weather. Autumn breezes....Winter snow. Icicles melting from awnings as Winter fades and Spring peeks around the corner, bringing rain that flows a clean scent through my open windows. A Summer sun making the surface of a pool glitter like diamonds.

Nature. If you ask me if I'm a bird watcher my first inclination is to reply with "no". Because who has time? But I do have time. And I do watch them when I can. Butterflies mesmerize me. Sometimes this nature watching is on t.v. but that's is SO not a replacement for being out in it. But to see an Elephant pounding through the jungle, trumpeting loudly, I either have to go on African Safari or turn the t.v. on. I guess I could go to the zoo. Hmmm.

A tide rolling in from the shore. I think this is nature and weather combined.

Quotes. Ah the written word. I love it.

"I am the greatest, I said that even before I knew I was" Muhammad Ali

Books. The Noticer.....The Last Lecture....Tuesdays With Morrie.....do you have a few hours while I compile my list?

Movies. Quotes falls within this one. Movies like Nightmare on Elm Street? Not so much. I love scary movies, but they don't inspire me. But those like The Kite Runner, or Ray....The Soloist....Into the Wild, do. I'm leaving about four hundred out......


You know who inspires me?

The person who fights cancer, HARD, and wins.
Someone brave enough to take leaps of faith to make positive changes in their lives, for a brighter future.
The student putting themselves through school with no help.
The parent who lost a spouse that has to continue with life, raising kids and making sure love is always present.
The parent of a handicapped child.
A person who is comfortable in their own skin, and it shows with ease.
The person who puts their hand up and says NO.MORE. to the abusive relationship they're in.

Audrey Hepburn was an actress, but also a UN Goodwill Ambassador. I've always liked her. That is inspiration on a large scale, but it doesn't always have to be. It can come from family and friends who do small things as well. If a neighbor has surgery and needs their lawn cared for while they're recuperating, the person who steps up to help without being asked .....yeah, that person inspires me too.

Who really inspires me is the friend that pushes me to be better.

That's the friend I'm going to have breakfast with this week. Is it you?
See you soon,
Tiffany

We remember......9/11

"We saw the worst of our enemies and the best of our nation. America was attacked, but the deepest belief of our democracy was vindicated, that our greatness and strength is found in the character of our citizens." -Laura Bush

"We will not hunker down behind walls of mistrust and suspicion, instead, the nation will resist those who sought to divide and demoralize us. We will stay true to our traditions at home, as a diverse and tolerant nation. We will not give in to their hatred" -President Barack Obama

From New York

NEW YORK — A day of mourning for nearly 3,000 Sept. 11 victims began with moments of silence and tears near ground zero, as observers braced for protests over a mosque planned blocks away on what is usually an anniversary free of politics.

From Ground Zero:
"Let today never, ever be a national holiday. Let it not be a celebration," said Karen Carroll, who lost her brother, firefighter Thomas Kuveikis. "It's a day to be somber; it's a day to reflect on all those thousands of people that died for us in the United States."

Twitter feed:

@heykolls "I'm not a crier and am rarely serious. But 9/11 changes that every year"
@savageink "Peace."
@maybarakat "9 years ago our entire world changed.Still no words to describe the loss.Gone but never forgotten.We think of you everyday.#neverforget 9-11"
@ItsThingsInLife "#neverforget any of us could have been them 9 years ago.R.I.P.#neverforget to get up every 9/11 thanking god you're alive and have a family"
@TheGaGa "2,993 confirmed victims. The youngest was 2 years old - The oldest 85. 3,251 children lost a Parent. September 11th 2001 - #NeverForget"
@wittyclevername "Remembering all of those we lost 9 yrs ago, and the brave men who have fougt to keep us safe. Thank you #neverforget"
@MarnieNichole "Where we once were divided, now we stand united. We stand as one, Undivided. #neverforget"
@chriscturner "Enjoy your football today, but never forget the importance of this day. #neverforget"

Facebook:

"Michelle Obama and Laura Bush together.........very nice"
"Much love for those who put their lives on the line for us every day. I could only be so lucky to join them, in any capacity. Remember 9/11"
"Today is 9/11. I am reminded of the ones we lost and the people that fought for our freedom. Thank you to all those that serve and protect"
"Heading to scott AFB to the air show. I cant think of a better way to honor the heroes and the fallen than spending the day with the military"
"Reflective. Sorrowful. Grateful. Forgiving. God bless us all...ALL of humanity"
"No matter what's going on in our Saturday I think everyone is remembering.....9/11/01"
"Life is precious. 9/11 taught us that. Live every day with love, faith, gratitude, passion, and purpose. Never, EVER, stop telling the ones you love how much they mean to you!"
"Thinking of the families that lost loved ones on September 11, 2001 and how they don't have to be reminded of this day...I am sure it never leaves their minds. For that, I pray for sweet peace to envelope them today..."
"Flag at ground zero"

My thoughts are these:
When tragedy strikes, whether it be our nation as a whole, or on a personal level, we, as Americans, and as human beings, band together to form the most protective shield we can, out of love.

Reliving Paris....one narrow street at a time

Oh Paris. Do you remember me? The American girl that stood with her mouth gaping open at the base of the Eiffel Tower, so overwhelmed that her mouth got dry because she forgot to shut it?

The one riding through the unfamiliar, french countryside in a van with seven other passengers, headed to Chateau Chambord.....without a map? and a driver on the edge, but still doing very well? and a (friends) mom who never says anything negative in all of her waking hours?

Bonjour. That girl was me. One year ago today I was on European soil. I trespassed your beautiful gardens, and narrow streets, and quaint corner cafe's.

And when I say narrow. I really mean it.

I fell in amour with your pink skies, and your oh-so-fresh air, and your ESPRESSO. See what I did there? You can't write about ESPRESSO that you drink in Paris without giving it a proper introduction, capital letters. I became a capital letter when I drank that awesome.

This is Tiffany on Coffee. =)

This is Tiffany on Paris ESPRESSO.

I've tried to recreate that ESPRESSO taste, and feeling. I fall just slightly short, but Starbucks does do its best. I texted a friend the first time I tasted it, with "I'm pretty sure this could start a car if we ever run out of gas".
Notre Dame Cathedral, (Notre Dame de Paris) is considered one of the finest examples of French Gothic architecture in France and in Europe.But you don't even have to consider yourself religious to feel a deep connection to this place. I lit a few candles and placed them on an altar there. And stood, once again, gaping, in awe of those stained glass windows. The camera's were complaining to each other, "I can't live up to these expectations!" but the person clicking the button tried very hard to capture the essence anyway.

Between that and Basilique du Sacré-Cœur, I don't know where I felt more humbled or at peace. But I just felt.it. Sacré-Cœur is located in Montmartre, the highest point of the city they say. You have to WANT this one, because you're going to climb a few steps to get there. (Two hundred and thirty-four) but who's counting?

Montmarte,  I adore your architecture. It's nothing short of amazing. I was always thinking, "how DID they build that? Making that structure come to a point on the end"......then deciding, "I want to live there". And have a flower box outside my bedroom window.

Oh and your fromage crepes. I will attempt to make one someday. But how can I totally capture the initial experience when I'm standing in my kitchen in North Texas? I suppose I could go out on the patio during a slight fall breeze, when the air is fresh, on a September morning. Maybe it will come close?

I had The Da Vinci Code on my mind when we walked all around the Louvre that day. I half expected to see Tom Hanks running as fast as he could across the commons with men chasing him. He wasn't there. Or if he was, he's very slick. Because I didn't see him. But I thought of him.

I've had Paris on my mind since September 1, and we had that one cooler day where everyone was updating social media with status's like "it feels amazing outside".

I wrote this to my family about the shift in perspective that I brought home with me from Europe:

For the change in perspective. I learned that the people that live in Paris are so easily satisfied with just doing simple things. Walking.....sitting at cafe's and sipping espresso with their friends....reading a book on bench at Luxembourg gardens while their kids play in the grass. Buying their dinner at the food shop around the corner that has rotisseries set up outside, roasting chickens, and taking it home. Taking naps, outside, at those same gardens, and not giving their backpack or "stuff" a second thought. I'm not saying Americans don't do these things, don't misunderstand. But I do feel like we're spoiled a little. Or it takes more for some of us to be entertained. (not all, just some) And I'm sure there are people over there that are spoiled too, just saying.

I want that feeling again. Going to Europe is the one trip that I've noticed I can remember almost every minute detail, twelve months later. Because I have pictures, and the words that I wrote, I can get back there in mere seconds, if only in my mind. I can even still smell it.

So I think long walks are in my near future. Simplistic activities. Satisfaction and contentment coming from very little. I don't have a River Seine to walk along, but I do have a duck pond here and there, with spraying fountains in the middle!

And after we walk, let's have breakfast the Paris way.

"Each morning in the hotel, we had free breakfast. They boil eggs and put them in a huge wicker basket and you just grab as many as you want. They're still in the shell, and always warm, never figured out how they keep them warm. Coffee, croissants, jellies, cheeses, cereal, juices, and baguettes"

Au bientot,
Tiffany

PS If you take me with you, when you travel to the city of love, I could be your photographer. I won't even CHARGE you for the pictures. Oui?

Absolutely nothing days.....

We work and run and drive and leap and dance and play and work and.......rest. We rest. It's the most important word in that first sentence. I mentioned a "collective sigh" in my previous post. I can hear that sigh today. I'm not sure why but most of the time I ignore the signs of feeling tired. What is that about? Like it's taboo to take a nap at two o'clock in the afternoon. As if I'm cheating on the day. I think I've decided that when my body is saying, enough already you need sleep, I'm going to listen. I love naps!

So Labor Day, that awesome Monday where we get to do absolutely nothing if we so choose, and if we're lucky enough to have a job that allows it, arrived this morning at 7am for me. I like absolutely nothing days. Mine are usually quiet, but not always. Sometimes music fills the day, maybe a movie playing in the background. I don't mind silence though, I really crave it at times. Especially when I'm reading a I-can't-put-you-down book.

"Sometimes it's important to work for that pot of gold. But other times it's essential to take time off and to make sure that your most important decision in the day simply consists of choosing which color to slide down on the rainbow" ~Douglas Pagels, These Are the Gifts I'd Like to Give to You

Time to walk away from any worries you have, any guilt you're feeling, any unhealthy habits you've formed, and.....rest. Not just physical rest. Mental rest. Let yourself regenerate. Restore. Relax.

That's what today is for, use it wisely. Then your Tuesday will feel like New Years Day.

See you soon friend,
Tiffany

PS Cafe Brazil is open today!! Brunch it is......

When is your time for renewal?

I think I hear a collective sigh. The extreme heat of a Dallas summer seems to be behind us, (and I hate to jinx it by saying that out loud), and August said goodbye a few days ago. A lot of people see Spring as the time of renewal but it's always been Fall for me. My favorite season, my favorite four months of the year, with October being number one, have begun. Actually to get technical Fall hasn't arrived yet. But the feeling of it, is here. College football (MIZZOU-RAH!), NFL season next week, lower temps, letters received from favorite nieces that have a red leaf in them....Missouri Fall is the reason I want to see the tapestry of color in September, it starts now. Dallas doesn't show me that palette until November. It's okay, I'm patient.

I woke up early enough to see the sun come up, splashing slivers of yellow rays over the pool water, making it shimmer. I was chuckling to myself about the fact that this morning is the first time I've used the pool in a month because it's been too hot to swim. Now that September is here it seems like swimming should be put to rest if you live somewhere that allows you the privilege of feeling a chilly morning already. But thats one good thing about living in North Texas, you can use the pool until Halloween (sometimes). I've been able to swim in February before as well. Ah well.....trade offs.
I still think I want to live where the summer heat isn't so extreme. Antarctica?

I'm going to use these last four months of the year to the best of my ability. Embrace them. Hold them tightly and squeeze.

When is your time for renewal? Is it now? Or ongoing throughout the year maybe?

Since I don't have an ocean to walk along, I'm going for a walk down my pretty street and into the park where there are a few nature trails. May have a friend join me. You can too, and we'll have breakfast after okay?

See you soon,
Tiffany

Human nature showing me once again, that we really do celebrate each other

Bloggers of the world, unite.

I know I need to get moving, I have a lot to do today. But I read inspirational blog posts from some of my favorites, and my wheels start turning. I read funny ones and laugh hysterically. Sometimes I read sad ones even, where one has lost a friend....or a spouse, maybe a pet. I feel their emotions because they put thought to page so beautifully.

My Sunday thoughts are swirling, Fantasy Football (oh Brett Favre you better show me you're the QB I know you are and thank you for falling into my draft.....stay healthy k?). Dallas visitors in the form of lifelong friends, a favorite of mine. Scary movies-I love them. I always have Halloween and fall on the brain at the end of August. So ready for my favorite part of the year to begin. With Wednesday comes September, I'm gonna give it a hug.

In 4 months 2010 will come to a close. Has this been a productive year for you? I'd like to think it has been for me, but I'm not done yet. I don't know if my work is ever "done" per se, but it changes often. With college courses possibly in the works, my agenda is g r o w i n g. Talks of a cruise next July or August (I'm dying to make this happen), have a wedding to go to in November, spending Thanksgiving with family in Missouri.....a lot to look forward to.

I think having things to look forward to is necessary, but I also think it's important to be happy in the "now". Just be content wherever you may be. I'm an observer, sometimes I can get away with this without anyone noticing. I like to watch people interact with each other, especially when it's in celebration. There were two birthdays being celebrated simultaneously on either side of my friends and I, at the place we went to watch Houston beat Dallas last night. Let me rephrase, where we went to watch the Dallas Cowboys play football (smiling). The birthday girl, (and boy) were both glowing. Their friends were celebrating their life in a very large, loud fashion. And then of course, when it comes time for the live band to sing happy birthday to them, they become shy, but the rest of the crowd joins in as if we've all known each other for years. Yet, before last night, some of us had never seen each other.

Human nature showing me once again, that we really do celebrate each other.

Even if we've never met.

See you soon,
Tiffany

PS I'm celebrating YOU over breakfast, join me if you like fresh fruit and omelettes. Or.....I could make pancakes!

Ever have one of those days?

I won't give in, you should know this by now dear universe.
What a long week!
I hear friends ask sometimes, "ever have one of those days?" Well I had a whole week. But it's Sunday night, and I'm preparing for dreamland, smiling. Like I usually do.
My car has been sitting at the dealer since Thursday, the end result of a very large median getting in my way. Bent rim (and when I say bent I mean I do nothing halfway, it was crunched) shredded tire.....it was doing the gangster lean after this unfortunate event. Almost as if to say, man I'm tired, can I just rest on this one side? So two new tires, a new rim, new wheel, new hubcab and alignment later.....I receive word that I need a new strut too. Very nice. So there she sits until insurance does their assessment, write up, approval, etc. I am SO lucky I didn't get hurt, and that I have insurance.
But what I'm really grateful for is, friends. Who care so much about me that they hand their keys over and say, take mine. Drive, go do whatever you need to do. Or friends that have showed up every single day since the day this happened (last Wednesday) to take me to work or brunch over the weekend, or just getting together with friends. It's important that I'm there, if I can't make it there, they make it happen, this is the feeling I'm left with. Wouldn't trade that for the world.
They know I could die if I don't go to Starbucks. (yes I'm being dramatic) so they make sure I go to Starbucks.
I've talked about different kinds of love, this is definitely a very important one in Tiffany's world. Friend love.
My chosen family, second home.....
It seems silly to whine about cell phone issues, but I'm having serious ones that I'm still waiting on the replacement phone for. With the car incident, and a friend/coworker losing two family members this week, and perplexing cell phone occurrences, *forgetting my wallet in Starbucks.....I found myself at the culmination of a not so great week. Much unlike my normal existence. Remember that happy, smiling Tiffany that is around most of the time?
She's still here. You'll find her laughing at texts that friends send, or something funny she's just read on twitter (thank GOD for you tweethearts, I follow you for a very good reason), or singing while friends cover their ears, or writing in her journal on the patio.
I won't bash you again, Texas, for this ridiculous heat you keep bestowing on us, unsolicited. But this summer, has made me come to realize that August is my least favorite month of the year. 2010 made me pull out the map of the United States and really look at it, and wonder where I could live where I can enjoy all four seasons, especially fall. Go away August. Just gather your things and go. I'll see you next year, and would love it if you would come cooler, and in a nice shade of light blue. Please? I actually see green when I think of August and I don't know why, it really should be brown given the state of the lawns in my neighborhood. Sorry neighbors, I know you're trying. The flowers are lovely. Do you see months in certain colors? January is white for me. Probably equating that to growing up in Missouri where January is almost always covered in white snow. February is red. (Valentines Day maybe, not sure). October is orange for obvious reasons. My birthday month, March, is pink.

So here's the good news. Fantasy Football draft, coming soon to a theatre near moi, YAY!! Football season starts in less than 3 weeks, and brings NFL headlines such as these:
It's time to get Back To Football as the NFL begins its 91st season with a celebration in its special pregame show, "NFL Opening Kickoff 2010 Presented by EA Sports" -- 7:30 p.m. ET Thursday, Sept. 9. Dave Matthews Band and Taylor Swift are scheduled to perform.
Double YAY!

With September 1 brings my four favorite months of any year. The months ending in R, adore them, with October being my all time favorite.
In putting last week behind me, I'll move forward to what I am sure will be an awesome week. Even if I have to make insurance pay for the awesome. I WILL!

I hope your week is awesome too. Just like you.
See you soon,
Tiffany

PS I have a new (to me) place to take you for breakfast, Pete's Cafe. I found Jesus in those pancakes.

*a very nice, honest person turned my wallet in. #payingitforward

Will you come to my celebration party when I graduate?

“If you think education is expensive, try ignorance” Derek Bok

I'm really getting serious about taking some college courses. I've been thinking about this for a long time, a thought so easily shoved to the side when life gets busy with work, and play (very important) and the all of the things we have to do when we become adults. It's not necessarily a self confidence issue, that's blocking my view. It's more of the question, "dear GOD do I really want to write papers again?"
Well do I?

I asked myself this over and over. Then I had a conversation with my manager at work, who is taking classes right now. He said, "you understand that VZ will pay you money for this, right? Well, they'll pay a portion of the cost"

Isn't that kind of a no-brainer? I don't know that I have a goal in mind, other than to stretch my mind wider than I have in a long time, like a rubber-band. Hopefully not to the breaking point. A degree? Yes that is the obvious goal. Will I tie it into telecommunications? I think it's silly not to, that's what I've done for a long time. I love what I do, even when the possibility of RIFs (reduction in forces *shudder*) rolls around every six months. I keep rolling with them, I'm still employed. Has to be a good sign.

My life is going to change quite a bit if I do this, because I don't like to take on anything with a "halfway" attitude. If I do it, the work involved comes first. It has to, I'm paying for it. I'd love to just go to school full time, live that college life where one can actually do it in 4 years (or 2 depending upon your degree/goal) but I have a job that I won't give up. So this will take a little longer than most.

So..... this is me mulling it over. And making an appointment to see a counselor at a nearby College. And seeing the possibility of my name written down on an 8x14 piece of paper, framed in gold lettering, with my degree listed above it.

Can you see it?

When I whine about having papers to write and being brain-tired will you sympathize? Will you come to my celebration party when I graduate?

Have breakfast with me tomorrow and we'll talk about my options. You pick. (whisper, Cafe Brazil is SO good) no pressure......

See you soon,
Tiffany

Not half a man, a man and a half....

There's a man that I see every once in a while at work that has come and gone over the last ten years. He's a contractor, so we never know when he'll show up or how long he will stay.
He likes to talk, a very good conversationalist if you have time to listen, and today, I am so glad I took the time.
He began with, "hey did I ever tell you about my daughters Purple Heart Medal?"
I immediately thought, oh man. He lost his daughter. I was sad instantly. I stood with him for a few minutes, and said, "tell me about it".

He smiled and said, well she graduated high school this year. Because she volunteers uncountable hours to the ROTC program for young adults, they arranged for a cadet to come to her graduation ceremony, and present her with the Purple Heart.
I immediately breathed a sigh of relief. Thank God she's still alive, and how cool is this?

I told him that was awesome, and really nice that they took the time to recognize her for her efforts, especially since her volunteer work, was all about recognizing them.
He told me that because of her, he too had become involved in volunteering. I asked, "In what capacity?"

"You know when you go to Wal-Mart, or the grocery story, and you see the ROTC members or civilians sitting behind a large banner on a table, with plenty pf pens available for you to either sign the banner, or, sign but also write a little note? That's what my daughter and I do, amongst other things".
He said that it was really easy to talk himself out of the time he gives, especially if it's raining, or the weekend has fantastic weather and he just wants to go have fun, etc. He paused and said, "but there's a young man that changed that for me".

"His name is Josh, he's 23 years old, and has prosthetic legs" he explained.
I thought to myself, yet another reminder of what I always say, "you have absolutely nothing in the world to complain about".

"Josh walked up to my table one Saturday morning, and thanked me for what I'm doing"

My coworker, as I mentioned, is a great conversationalist. He asked him about his life. He didn't come right out and ask what happened to him, he just gently eased him into the telling of his story. Josh didn't give many details. He was riding with several people in a large vehicle (I can't be specific on the make because he didn't mention it) that was unfortunately bombed. Josh was the only one that was hurt severely. After talking for well over an hour, Josh shared that after the accident, he had been in a very dark place for a while. Thoughts of taking his own life surfaced many times, to the point of his parents staying with him around the clock for several months, to make sure he didn't follow through with that unfortunate idea. He said he felt like half a man.

He teared up when he told me that he said to Josh, "You are not half a man. You are a man and a half. And I thank you for every single thing you did, and are doing, to support this country we live in"

Josh shook my friends hand, and my friend hugged him. Like a Dad hugs his own son. He ended up meeting Josh's parents that day, and even got Josh's phone number. That was over a year ago, he talks to Josh once a week, (he lives on the east coast now) and also speaks with Josh's parents every so often.

Josh tells him that he doesn't have to call if he doesn't want to.
He smiled at me and said, I will call him every week until I am no longer here. He thinks I'm helping him. But what he doesn't know, is he's inspiring me.

I hope you have inspiration in your life, every day.

Love,
Tiffany
 
PS "Taking Texas to Our Injured Troops" is the campaign my coworker is involved with. A retired country music producer that is now employed with KSCS Radio 96.3 in Dallas developed the idea, and ran with it.
Rather then embed the video on you tube, I will provide the URL : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aH7AY3Arzao

Put the silly back in your life if it's gone missing, okay?

I woke up laughing, is that weird? I don't know what in the world I was dreaming about last night, sometimes my dreams are so vivid, but this one is elusive. Bits and pieces I grasp, then poof! Just like that they're gone. It's just been one of this silly days so far, and I've had work to do. Cleaning carpets does not make one laugh, at least I don't think it does. Running errands, even when they begin with a morning visit to my Starbucks peeps, do not make one laugh. Well, the barista does, he's hilarious. But still.
"Hey Tiffany"....."yes?"....."wouldn't it be totally cool to have a potbelly pig for a pet?"
I died laughing because he's so r a n d o m. (Plus I think he knows I'm easy when it comes to making someone laugh) Oh and fyi, I think potbelly pigs are adorable but I don't want to have one living in my home. He would only watch Babe Pig in the City and then get bored if I wanted to watch some other movie, and also I don't speak pig. I reallllly want to be fluent in other languages, but I have to get French down before I move on to pig or something other exotic farm animal language. I have my standards.
Also, what if in the small chance I ever wanted a BLT for breakfast. You see my predicament there I'm sure.

So I've decided to embrace todays silliness. What better way to kick off the NFL season eh?
Hall of Fame, then pre-season, then let the real games begin. I am SO excited we're almost there!!
I'm meeting friends to watch the game tonight, these people keep me in stitches every time I'm with them so I have a feeling I'm taking the "silly" all the way to bedtime with me, I'll tuck it in, sing it a lullabye, and we'll go to sleep, gearing up for Monday.
Have you laughed out loud today?

The next time we meet for breakfast, I'll make you laugh out loud. It's good for you, and it goes well with eggs and toast. Especially well with coffee. Put the silly back in your life if it's gone missing, okay?

In total adoration,
Tiffany

The more things change, the more they stay the same......

I don't like change. I've discussed this with you before. I'm getting a lot better with the idea behind change though. It usually brings 'better'. I enjoy running into an old friend, or hearing from one with a phone call, and hearing in their voice, that even though circumstances in their lives may have changed since we last spoke, they are still the same person. I depend on that I guess. If you were awesome then, please be awesome now......is what I'm wishing for.
I've reconnected with a few friends in social media that have known me forever. I always love hearing that I'm exactly the same. It's not so much when they say "you look exactly the same!" (although that is really nice to hear) but when they say, "your smile lights up the room just like it always did", or "you make me laugh until my stomach hurts just like you always have". I sit back and think, see? Some things not changing are a very good thing.
One good thing that change can bring is personal growth. When I observe someone growing into themselves, becoming comfortable in their own skin, and saying mature things, making mature decisions, I smile like you wouldn't believe. It's a "feelgood" for sure, for me, and quite possibly why I'm attempting to do some of these things as well.
When someone isn't comfortable in their own skin, it makes me uncomfortable. Likewise, those around them. I feel bad for them, and often think, what can I do to help. Can I talk them into loving themselves in some way? Of course I can't. But I can talk to them, and listen. The listen is more important than the talking. I call true friendship "free therapy", and I'm extremely grateful for my free therapists.
My mom told me once that I couldn't save the world. She didn't mean it in a bad way, she said that because she cares about me. She sees me, at times, taking some things on that may become cumbersome in the long run, and she wants me to be happy. Light. Not carrying too much of a heavy load. It's that whole "weight of the world on your shoulders" idea. No one wants to see someone they care about carrying a heavy load, it's tiring.
I've given advice before where I've explained that what my friend is telling me about, is a "monkey on their back" and it's best to let it go. I'm a firm believer in this.

One of my favorite children's book illustrators (and graphic artists) is Mary Engelbreit. I love her whimsical view of the world and how she expresses herself through her drawings combined with her words. Here is how she views change:
~ If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it. ~ Mary Engelbreit
Can I get an amen?

So, I'm still on that archeological dig through my soul. I'm finding all kinds of things in there. Some I am keeping, others are being discarded. Maybe I should have a garage sale!

Meet me for breakfast tomorrow, Mimi's Cafe has the best mimosas. It's still Breakfast at Tiffanys if I'm with you. Plus I need help in getting a game plan in place for saving the world. Mom, I really can.

Love,
Tiffany

Caution: Step Up

I keep noticing this writing, painted on the step that leads from the parking garage where I work, into the building. "Caution: Step Up"
My first thought was, I wish life decisions had painted signs on them so we could be warned of impending danger or mistakes, unfortunate choices, etc.
I started paying attention to signs.
No left hand turn.
If it's against the law to turn left at this intersection, obviously most of us will never turn left. Therefore keeping us safe, and driving straight ahead to our destination.
STOP.
I don't know about you but I've needed this sign before, outside of the traffic arena. Just slow the car down, and stop. Wait your turn. When it's clear, put your foot on the gas pedal, and drive.
Slippery When Wet.
*shoutout to Bon Jovi here, loved this album.
This one is telling us that we can drive on this road, but if the road gets wet, it can turn slippery and may become very dangerous. I can relate this to many things, but recently, getting into conversations I don't want to participate in.
Railroad Crossing.
It's very possible that a train will come through at any moment. Also, if you don't reduce speed when going over these tracks, you could tear your alignment up, and would then need car repairs done. This would tie in with Proceed With Caution. The sign is plain as day, it's up to us to pay attention and obey traffic rules right?
One Way.
Have you ever turned down a one way street the WRONG way? Yikes! I have, and it scared the hell out of me. I was able to recover quickly, being in a city I didn't know that well. I've never made this mistake again, so far. *knock on wood.
Do Not Enter.
This is just an absolute. There is no wiggle room for this one. Simply do not enter. Period.
*Insert name of Destination City* 31 miles......
If you have perserverance, i.e. commitment, hard work, patience, endurance....you will reach your destination. It would be cool to know how much longer we had to drive to get there.
Speed Limit 60
If we go too fast, several things can happen. One is, we'll get pulled over and be ticketed and then have to pay exorbitant prices for that misfortune. Another is, we will miss so much along the way. Go the limit.....and see everything around you. Life is crazy awesome, so many things to see. I don't want to miss any of them!

I told a friend once that he couldn't see how great his world could actually be, because he was standing on the bottom rung of his life ladder. In order to see out, and above, he needed to step up one rung. Then step up again. Suddenly the view becomes clearer, so he can now see what fabulous things are in store.
When life delivers blows that hurt, it is completely understood why we should use,

"Caution", but then it is important that we "Step Up".

I'm stepping up every day. It's quite a view and I'm scared of heights people! I gripped the inside wall of the Eiffel Tower for over 30 minutes before I was able to inch away from it, to see the breathtaking view of Paris.
And what.a.view.it.was.

Definitely should have a french themed breakfast today. They are very simple, I learned when I visited. Croissants, boiled eggs, fromage (cheese) of all different varieties, espresso, juice.......baguettes sticking out of woven baskets.
Je vous verrai bientôt,
Tiffany

PS Wear something French, oui?