I used to believe that I never wanted to keep a diary. My hand written words would be out there and my private thoughts recorded for anyone to find and read was not something I wanted. Of course now we have that thing, that monstrous, sometimes fun, sometimes wonderful, other times awful, thing, that is the internet. Social media. A platform often used to share a thousand thoughts with whoever wants to read them. Blogging. What?! Now we can have an online diary if you will. "But I always said I didn't want to keep a diary" I mused. But how can I ignore this new way of being able to write out all of my thoughts, I asked myself.
I do consider this blog a diary of sorts, but not the kind that shares every.single.detail of my life. I mean, I don't post every day, and definitely not every hour on the hour about what I'm eating, doing, thinking....or feeling.
I just like knowing that I can go back and read things that I've written about in the past. It's a cool thing, yes?
I did that today. I had forgotten that I wrote about what qualities I would want in a significant other.
Here's the short version of what I discovered:
This was carefully written several years ago. I'm happy to realize that it is still what I want, and believe in, today.
With consideration, I asked myself what true love means to me. I don't know if I could have fully answered this question a few years ago, or even *many* years ago. You have to know and love yourself first, right, before allowing someone else to know you, and love you.
This is what it means to me now.
Real, genuine love does not recognize jealousy. It does not listen to self doubt. It doesn't stare, with lazer focus, at flaws, physical or otherwise. It does not allow the subconscious voice speak to our failures as though they are all that we are made of. Real, genuine, healthy love is in the everyday-ness of the tasks being done side by side. The thoughts that begin with 'we', instead of 'me, me, it's all about me'. It has peaceful, comfortable trust. Solid foundation. It is filled to the brim with truth, with no room for falsehood. The knowing that together equals better, not alone equals safer. The want of hearing the others wishes, hopes, and dreams. And the need, to not only be a part of all three, but to try to be the vehicle to make them happen. It must be watered, fed, embraced, and finally, be considered as the most important thing we will ever do in this life. To love another, completely.
So, in a few years, wherever I may be, I can look back to this post, and remember what I felt, then poured out in paragraphs.
Do you write your thoughts out on paper?
Do you 'type' them online?
I hope you are well friend.
See you soon!
Tiffany
P.S. Breakfast at Tiffany's has been filled with fabulous tomatoes off the vine, fresh fruit, and other tasty little items. Thank you Dallas Farmers Market!
