My Haiku Breakthrough

It still bothers me
that I can't write a haiku
without help from friends

I posted that status update in Social Media, ending with. OMG. I've JUST HAD A BREAKTHROUGH!

I'm such a nerd people. No really. I am. I like watching Nature shows. I can be mesmerized for hours watching a spider spin a web, or a whale floating through oceanic waters in search of food. March of the Penguins, one of my favorites. "A look at the annual journey of Emperor penguins as they march, single file, to their traditional breeding ground"
A lot of people said to me, that movie was boring. Oh come ON! You don't want to watch penguins marching in single file to their next destination? for two hours? =)
I was sad when the baby penguin didn't make it out of its egg. Or if a seal got one of the penguins and they didn't make it back to their home. And I think I froze to death in the theatre that day, because it looked so.cold. in those scenes.

I'm not much of a gamer. Video gamer that is. I STILL don't own a Wii but aspire to have one some day. But you know, if I had what I wanted, I would be rescuing that princess in Mario Brothers on the original Nintendo system. I loved that game. One of the rare few I was good at. These days it seems like the required hand to eye coordination is too much for me. Sigh. Way back in the day my boyfriend at the time and I would play Mario Brothers until our eyes crossed. I don't know if this makes me a nerd or someone who doesn't spend time in a valuable manner. (laughing as I type)

A friend sent me a link to a Japanese I.Q. test one time, (go here: http://www.robmathiowetz.com/ ) and click where it says "Click to Begin"

I spent hours, I spent DAYS trying to get those freakin people across that darn river. My mom was visiting at the time. I threw my hands in the air and said MOM! you try. She sits down, calmly rolling up her sleeves. And gets them across the river in about fifteen minutes. Thank you, mother, for showing me that I can't think like the Japanese, but you can, and so quickly. (ell oh ell)

I like crossword puzzles but they usually end up reminding me that I should have paid more attention in school. Still, they tickle the brain. I like playing scrabble, and will fight for the truth if a word is in question. I want to learn how to play Yahtzee, poker, and maybe even learn how to shoot craps. A friend enticed me with an explanation of how it works, sounded complicated and fascinating at the same time.
I like cool math games, my favorite being Mancala. Stones, and a board, sounds boring doesn't it? It's so not boring. Not to me anyway!

I'm really nerdy
I wholeheartedly don't mind
I like who I am

I'm on a Haiku roll!

A great friend wrote one in like ten seconds in Facebook when I challenged him (I was like, seriously? it took me days) but I'm sharing because I loved it.

Standing in the mist
I thought I almost saw you
It was a rainbow
 
Pretty awesome eh?
 
So this "nerd" is closing this post now. I will tell you, if it's nerdy to watch cooking shows, well hello. How do you think I make these great breakfasts I invite you to?
 
See you soon,
Tiffany

My Friday Top Ten

I like listing out my favorites that are foremost on the brain, especially on a F*R*I*D*A*Y

1)  Air conditioning. This needs no explanation.

2)  Friday night ritual of friends gathering at the same place, around the same time, wherein we laugh, discuss, enjoy, breathe, exhale, forgive, learn, write, observe, and sing.

3) Wine. It's so sophisticated.

4) Yoga. Nature's prozac. Stretching and expanding muscles, to get one ready for the weekend. I'm always left with the thought, is there yoga for the brain available?

5) Haircuts. Where did that 5 inches go?! OH MY. But. I love them. Especially with fresh, sunkissed highlights.

6) Happy coworkers. You'll find them on Fridays.

7) Unexpected phone calls from old friends. I pay homage to these.

8) Handwritten letters or cards. They DO still exist, yay!

9) Football season right around the corner.

10) New cell phones. Of the Droid variety. Hello new technology, nice to meet you. Hold me.

And there you have it. What is your top ten for this week?

I'm totally thinking breakfast tacos today. Ole!

Visit soon, okay?
Tiffany

You just have to get your ducks in a row....

When I drove down the pretty street I live on, coming home from work today, I saw a mama duck and six ducklings crossing the street. Right in the middle of another excellent conversation with a friend for life, I slowed the car down to a crawl, and exclaimed "awwwwww". Then I thought, that.is.it.tiffany. "You just have to get your ducks in a row!"

Remember Runaway Bride?
Maggie Carpenter spends so much time trying to be exactly like who she's engaged to that when she finally does meet "the one", she has no idea who she is.

I recently told a guy who I've known for a while now that I cannot possibly live up to the idea that he has of me in his head. I'm just an ordinary girl, and not that exciting. Now listen. This is not a self deprecating statement. I know I'm funny, and can think for myself, and have my own personality and thoughts, dreams and wishes. That makes me unique because we all are unique. I was attempting to have an honest conversation, keeping things real.

I'm going to quote my life friend, taken from todays conversation: *names removed for privacy reasons

"So, regarding how he feels about you and he being the perfect match....... this is how I think I've felt about someone as well. But who we think a person is and who they really are, are at times, completely different. I thought he was just so great and then he showed me his true colors. Why can't we just be who we are in the beginning, during the middle, and all the way until the end. Stripped down. Just me. I think I'm scared to just let the real me out."

My best friend is right. Why can't we just be ourselves, all of the time? There are people that struggle with letting their guard down, and being totally themselves, because with "sharing" comes vulnerability. Who wants to be vulnerable I ask you?
The question usually being mulled over is "but, what if they don't like me?" This is one of those things I told you that I found during this archeological dig of my soul. I'm learning that it's okay if they end up not liking me.

If you ask Maggie Carpenter, how she likes her eggs cooked, she can't tell you. If you ask each one of her ex fiance's how she likes them cooked, they all answer with, "poached, just like me", "scrambled, just like me", "over easy, just like me". See where this is headed?

So she meets Ike Graham. And just like before, it goes all the way to him waiting for her at the altar. And she runs. Again.

But it's different this time. She does run. But soon, she comes to realize that she really loves him. Everything Ike. All of him. Oh what to do. She starts "digging", just like I'm doing now. The scene flashes across the screen of several different plates of eggs placed in front of her, all cooked a different way. "How DO I like my eggs?" she seems to wonder, it's not even spoken out loud. When her best friend visits to see if she's doing okay, she tells her, "you just have to get your ducks in a row".

The mama duck I saw this morning has her ducks in a row. Maybe I could interview her?

Tomorrow I'm having poached eggs, because I love them cooked that way. I like them cooked other ways too, but right now this is my favorite. How do you want yours cooked?

See you soon friend,
Tiffany

A Time for Everything

I was talking to a best friend this morning about the fact that sometimes I find that more athiests or agnostics, non-believers of practiced religion, etc, know more about what is written in the Bible than some Christians do. This is not a slam against Christians at all, don't misunderstand. It's just interesting. I mean if you're going to be a good atheist, why not study what is written to make a sound decision on where you stand in the religious world. One friend told me once that he wasn't sure what he believed, regarding God and the holy spirit. But he did say that he believed in a higher power. This same person reads the bible. I liked knowing that he, and others I know, are interested enough to see what is in there. It just showed me that they are intelligent people, these seekers of knowledge. Instead of stating these beliefs because they think it's the cool or "in" thing to do, they go to what is available to them for research.

I'm not going to get too deep into where I stand on this subject, other than I was raised a Baptist in a small town in Missouri. What I was taught since as far back as I can remember, is that there is a heaven and God does exist, and so does his Son. Let me say frankly, that the first time I encountered loss I was glad to know the things I have been taught most of my life. And believe them I do, today. Not just when I encounter loss. When I encounter every thing.

Perfect timing. Is there such a thing? I believe there is.

Ecclesiastes 3
A Time for Everything
1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

There is a time and place for everything. I think we lose sight of the right time during certain points of our lives. Regardless, the right time is there. I hope I can always recognize it, and if I don't, I hope I learn for the next opportunity.
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

My mom always told me that our day was written down. When we leave this earth. In knowing this, I don't want to know when my day is. I just want to live life as full as I possibly can. I've fallen short lately. That archeological dig of my soul I mentioned two posts ago, it's ongoing and the deeper I dig the more revelation I find. I think that my dig may never actually end, but right now it's intense. I hope when I near the less intense side, I can plant, and know if I need to uproot anything I've planted that isn't good for me. I want the soil to be rich in texture, and moist, and ready for new growth. If weeding becomes necessary, I'll put on gloves, put my hair up, and whack away.
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

Oh do we really have to kill? Yes we do, said the men standing in Germany, or Vietnam, Iraq..... that just got bombed within five feet of their base. What choice did they have? I hope the men that got to come home were able to heal from those terrible experiences.
A time to tear down and build. Katrina comes to mind, to name one example where this thought came to me. That hurricane obviously had a place in our history, unfortunately. But it's time to rebuild, and I think it's going well in New Orleans from what I read and hear on the news.
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

I used to think something was seriously wrong with me because I didn't cry very much. I thought, am I heartless, or unfeeling? I laugh a LOT. It's a huge part of who I am, I've always been this way. It's not as though I haven't had some very sad things happen in my life so far, I have. It was during those times that I learned I most definitely was not unfeeling, because the tears fell, one by one, until they couldn't form themselves anymore. There is, of course, a time to mourn. I wish we didn't need this time. But it is necessary for healing.
But that time to dance? That's where you'll find me most of the time.

5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

When I read scattering stones I immediately thought of scattering ideas to the wind. Throw out your thoughts, hopes, dreams! Why not? I say go for it. Say them out loud even. Gathering thoughts is something I do every day, especially when I'm thinking a little too much. I try not to be an overthinker, but it grabs me by the hand and tugs, and sometimes I walk with it.
Can you tell when someone needs a hug? I usually can, especially if I know the person well. Some people don't want strangers to hug them, I totally get that, and may even fall in that category myself. But I'm a hugger, as long as I'm sure that it's not time to refrain from doing so.
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

Searching. A quest often begins without us realizing we're looking for something. Some would say there is never a time to give up, depending upon what you're searching for. If it's a first edition copy of "Love in the Time of Cholera" (the first person that gets this movie reference wins a free pass for breakfast at tiffanys) would you ever tire of stopping in book stores to see if they had it? I wouldn't. A cure for cancer? They better never stop looking for this, I will lose all hope in mankind if they do. An end to poverty....the list goes on. But if you find yourself searching for something that you know deep down may not ever come to fruition, something more personal, it's important to recognize when to give up and move on. You'll know, I have faith in you.
I have countless "times to keep" stored in photo boxes, albums, journals, and my heart. Even if it's a goosebump moment, that can only be stored in your mind, because it's uncapturable by camera or written word, you will still always keep it with you. The other side of this is, if there is a bad memory, of something that causes you pain, try, very hard, to let it go. Someone in your life that is not good for you, the same. Let them go. Someone that you are hurting, and they don't deserve your actions towards them, let them go too. It's the only way to grow, do the right thing, and become a better person not only for them, but for you.

7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

My high school boyfriend was obsessed with lifting weights. He explained to me that the muscle tears when he's lifting, and then gets bigger when it mends. If his goal is to have huge biceps, that tearing and mending is important. I can apply this to things I've gone through in my life that haven't been pleasant. I was torn during those times, but I grew better when I mended, all the while learning lessons.
When I was in grade school I think my teachers thought I was mute. I'm half kidding here. I just didn't say very much, I was a very quiet student. My friends will tell you that I am obviously making up for that now, because I am here to tell you, I can babble on incessantly. Trust me on this. I like to talk. But I also know when to keep still, and listen.
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

I think the time to love is yesterday, today, tomorrow, and forevermore. Love is all we need, the Beatles sing so. All kinds of love. In as much abundance as we can muster. I struggle with a time for hate, but I suppose this does ring true. I hate diseases that we don't have cures for. I hate drugs that get sold to kids on the streets of cities where they know no better, or do know better but choose the wrong path anyway. I hate poverty, and homelessness, and the job market hitting an all time low. But I've always thought that hate takes just as much emotion and energy, if not more, than love. So I don't waste hate towards people. It's simply not worth it.
I know war is probably necessary. I wont bury my head in the sand. But oh that peace, that's what I really wish for. I don't like war. I don't like young adults coming home to their parents, in a coffin. But let me be very clear. I support our troops, and have an immense respect for our military.

Perfect timing. I will never think this doesn't exist. It's there for the taking, and will mesh things together when you're least expecting it. But, I also think it may need a helping hand once in a while.

“You cannot afford to wait for perfect conditions. Goal setting is often a matter of balancing timing against available resources. Opportunities are easily lost while waiting for perfect conditions.” -Gary Ryan Blair

Tomorrow is the perfect time for eggs benedict. Trust me!

See you then,
Tiffany

Over Exposure in Social Media

"In photography, exposure is the total amount of light allowed to fall on the photographic medium (photographic film or image sensor) during the process of taking a photograph" -Wikipedia

I know that when I use too much light when I'm taking a picture, it damages the end result, making the picture not easy to see. At times you can't see it at all. There's a required delicate balance when it comes to using the flash option. If you're already in bright sunlight, you don't need to use the flash, right? When someone has that really cool camera where they then need a dark room to develop the negatives, what happens when someone turns the light on during the developing phase? The pictures don't develop well. But if the light is kept off until they develop properly, the end result is a fabulous picture and a sealed memory of what was hopefully a series of treasured moments.

We also know that too much sun exposure can cause sunburn, and can lead to a higher risk of skin cancer. But there are those that think they absolutely must have the darkest tan possible, so regardless of possible negative outcomes, they spend as much time in the sun as possible, oftentimes unprotected.

What about over exposure in Social Media?

When faced with a crisis, illness, unfortunate marriage problems, friendships gone awry, job issues, etc, social media status updates, at times, share a lot of unnecessary information.
I think any social media we have available is a place where we are already standing in very bright sunlight. Placing that comment or status update that isn't necessary is just like using the flash option on the camera, it's going to result in a distorted picture that no one will want to look at, unless they're into that sort of thing.

When one posts an update that slams their friend, manager at work, life partner, spouse, even their kids, this is where sunburn sets in. Ouch.

The good thing is, there's always that delete button. Your status update, or "what's on your mind" is like your signature. I myself don't want to sign anything that shouts negativity. I don't mind anyone venting, but I think it should be done in a small way, hopefully about something that my friends can relate to and say, "Hey, I understand and totally feel you on this". I don't understand why some feel the need to air their "dirty laundry" in a social media environment. Yes I know, I've blogged about similar subjects before. I think this may be me "venting" =).
In trying to remain steadfast in my support of friends that appear to be in need of a gentle response, I do try and comment something positive that will hopefully provide a different perspective on the situation, kind of like being the aloe on the sunburn.

But if it's political, i.e. slamming the President, or religious bashing, just to name two, I stay so far away from those updates my zip code changes. I like the "to each his own" stance a lot of people take on various subjects, because I don't like people judging one another either. I just often wonder when I read something negative, did the person feel better after posting that?

I hope I can be the balm that soothes when it's needed. It's an always present goal of mine.

Mondays breakfast will be a culmination of all of that fabulous fresh fruit I bought over the weekend. Oh Dallas farmers market, I love you.

See you soon friend,
Tiffany

Digging Deeper

I told you once that I don't really do new years resolutions. I just like to make a new list every December, as the year comes to a close and we're all enjoying the holidays. I went back and read the "The Sun is Setting on 2009" post I wrote towards the end of last year. I think I really love this online journal thing, also called a blog. It's coming in very handy when I want to see where I was at certain times, what I was thinking about, dreaming of, venting about, etc. I don't feel that I've given 2010 my best, or let it live up to it's potential. Slightly disheartening. The good news (because I always look at both sides) is that I've come to this thought before the 7th month of 2010 ends. Guess what. I have over five months left of this year! This means I have to get to work.

Digging is a LOT of work. It's tiring. Especially if the shovel is heavy and it's dark and you can't see very well. But what if you're digging for D*I*A*M*O*N*D*S. I don't know about you, but I would dig until I couldn't dig anymore if it meant that I could find a shiny diamond that I could make into a necklace or ring, maybe a bracelet?

Digging inside of my soul, that's really what I'm doing. I love learning what makes other people tick as they say, but I think I need to do this with myself right now. What makes me tick? I'll have to let you know the entire answer when I figure it all out. I used to say quite often that I didn't care what other people thought of me, and I wasn't meaning that as a negative statement, but more like "be yourself, be original, don't conform", that sort of thing. I think this statement is probably 75 percent true. The truth is, I do care what people think of me to a degree. I don't mean silly stuff like, a friend hates pink so I hate pink. (fyi it's my signature color). But I do mean things like making the right choice when faced with a difficulty, or selecting the proper words when asked a question where the answer may lead to a discussion I don't want to participate in (gossip), to provide two examples. Even in social media status updates I try to be careful about what I say, all the while staying true to myself in my beliefs or what is going on in the world of Tiffany.
I'm not sure that I've developed an admirable skill set to use for when I come across someone  that doesn't care for me for some reason. Good news alert (see I always do that) when I was growing up I had a lot of love in my life. I always felt special, and I have a lot of people to thank for that. My maternal grandma, I really do think I was her favorite.
Dear familia, I know! I can hear you, I'm laughing. My grandma loved all of us equally, I know this. But I FELT like I was her favorite, see how good she was? I bet we all felt that way. After she passed away I was with my mom in her bedroom going through her jewelry box. My mom pulled out a yellow diaper pin (with a duck on it I think) and told me, "look, this was yours". I beamed, and the idea was sealed. I was her fav. =)

My mom. She read to me almost every night, and told me I could "do it" no matter what I was trying, then when I did, she always said, I knew you could. So.important. especially in the formative years. She tells me I write well, I didn't know how important it was for me to hear that from her.

My Dad loves me without question, I know this because he exudes joy when I call him.

My sisters. They make me laugh so hard, these girls. But they think I'm cool, you can't fake that. (right? tell me I'm right, and they're not making this up)

My maternal grandpa. He told me wise things all throughout my childhood and sometimes his "telling me" wasn't with words. He showed me. I felt important when I talked to him, and once again that feeling of, "I am special" sets in.

So I know, that we all have people we will encounter, that may view things differently than we do, and that may not "like" us for whatever reason. I need to learn that it's okay and I'm not going to crumble because of this.
A really funny comedian, Mitch Hedberg, said this once:
"You know you can't please all the people all the time, and last night, all of those people were at my show"

That's what I'm sayin! I really should just do an entire blog on Mitch someday, he makes me laugh out loud every single time. May he rest in peace.

So while I go on this archeological dig of my soul, you may see me doing an inventory of what I'm finding from time to time. Todays find is, it's okay if someone doesn't like me, I'm not changing. And I won't wither away. But growing?

You better believe it.

Friday breakfasts are the best because we're going to Starbucks. Have you tried the Greek Honey Yogurt? *delicious*
I'll see you tomorrow friend,
Tiffany

I don't want to!

I woke up with obstinance today. As if my arms were already folded across my chest and I was shaking my head no to everything asked and I wasnt even out of bed yet. I'm stubborn. Did you know that about moi? Yep. Stubborn. I try not to be when it's not warranted. Part of this idea comes from my mom telling me I was stubborn when I was younger, and reminding me of that now that I'm older. I'm smiling as I type.

So I have the "I don't want to" attitude today. Almost like I want to answer everything asked of me with that reply. When I get in this sort of mode, to music I turn....Coldplay's "Don't Panic" is playing in my life background right now. "we live in a beautiful world,yeah we do"
Ah the Garden State soundtrack, I go here on "off" days, to visit some awesome music and remember a really cool movie.

I think I've reached a plateau where all of the things, small things mind you, that annoy me have decided to join forces and visit me on the same day. Office politics, bad drivers, too much work and not enough hours in the day, or team members,  to get it all done,  people who are rude to others for no reason other than for their own entertainment (not a fan), sarcasm that hurts someones feelings.....

So let me address each one with a postive spin, so I can uncross my arms and begin saying yes, okay?

Office Politics, you're a total waste of time. Although I will not break rules, I will no longer let you have any of my energy. You're not worth it.

Bad Drivers, I forgive you. You are also an energy sapper, and I know that if I don't forgive you, but join you, I could get hurt or cause someone else to get hurt. So again, I will let you go ahead of me, I'm in no hurry.

Too much work/not enough hours/team members, you just aren't going to go away are you? I admire your tenacity. I'm going to now cohesively let you go as well. Send you on your way. You think you won but actually, I win, because you're keeping me employed. aHA!

People who are rude to others for entertainment purposes, you have nothing to do with me actually so I am sorry I even notice you. But I do, because I care about people. Please rent a movie or buy a cd, read a book, go on a long walk, for your entertainment, instead of slamming people into invisible walls. It's so not nice. And it WILL come back to you one day.

And finally, sarcasm that hurts someones feelings. You don't deserve to be in my blog. Breakfast at Tiffany's is fun time, with fabulous food, music, maybe a movie or book, you have no place here. What I can share with you is this: please understand that when one hurts another, emotionally, the one that does the hurting will eventually find that they are no longer able to get a good nights sleep, if there is any sort of human compassion present, at all. If the compassion well has run dry, please find out why and see if you can fill it back up. You will have the greatest "at the end of the day" feeling in the world. I wouldn't lie to you, trust me on this please.

I feel better now. Thank you for listening to me changing no to yes, maybe we should write a song about it.
Over breakfast. Eggs and rice? French toast? ohhhh you would LOVE my homemade pancakes.

I adore you people.
=)
Tiffany

P.S. Dear Coldplay, I'm not panicking. w00t!

Never quit. Your turn will come....

A friend and I were talking recently about past mistakes we've all made, if we're being honest. He shared one of his and I told him I wouldn't judge him for that, because we all make mistakes. He laughed and said yeah right, what? you spill coffee in the morning?
Oh good grief.
I thanked him for thinking so highly of me.

One thing I am grateful for is that this didn't go anywhere near the unfortunate "Goody Two Shoes" comment from a while back that I blogged about, because I would put on boxing gloves for that one. (Post: You're just as good for me, as I hope I am for you)

I make mistakes people. I'm not going to go back to Kindergarten and start listing them out by any means. If I did go back that far, there was that one time I didn't invite a classmate to a birthday party I had, because no one in our class really liked her. I conformed. ACK! This thought haunts me even today when I think about it. Wherever she is, I hope she's doing something uber cool like being a rocket scientist/blogger/author/chairperson of a really cool committee, so well that every single person that snubbed her would be envious.

The one mistake I do not make, is judge. Anyone. And I mean people I actually know, I don't mean celebrities who make unfortunate decisions in their marriages or steal clothing from a department store when they have enough money to buy the store itself. I'm just sayin.

To quote the artist that I feel lucky to share a birthdate with:

Even the knowledge of my own fallibility cannot keep me from making mistakes. Only when I fall do I get up again.-Vincent Van Gogh

What should the mistake do? Teach.

A man's errors are his portals of discovery- James Joyce

Everyone makes mistakes. If we can learn from them, we're the richer for it, especially when we have the fortitude to not have a repeat performance.
In training a new team member at work I noticed her doing what a lot of us do, asking "but what if I mess up?" before she would try what I told her to do. I told her that I bet if she DID mess up, she wouldn't do it again. Of course I then reassured her that she wouldn't because I would be there to help and lead her down the right path. I also shared a few things I had done that caused errors in our work, to show her that even I, with all of the experience I have now, made mistakes in my learning phase. Let me also say that I still make mistakes, not just during the learning portion.

My final quote, because you know I can go all day sharing them:

Whenever you make a mistake or get knocked down by life, don't look back at it too long. Mistakes are life's way of teaching you. Your capacity for occasional blunders is inseparable from your capacity to reach your goals. No one wins them all, and your failures, when they happen, are just part of your growth. Shake off your blunders. How will you know your limits without an occasional failure? Never quit. Your turn will come.-Og Mandino

So for breakfast if I don't get your eggs quite right, let me know. I can learn how you like them, and try again.

See you soon,
Tiffany

How important is chemistry?

I recently reconnected with a friend (I love the word reconnected) and had an awesome conversation about dating, and what makes men and women do the things they do. Human nature, always something I'm interested in.
It was a long day of working, on a weekend no less, so I welcomed the break when he called, and walked away from the madness that is my worklife.
Our discussion led with: why do we ignore what's right in front of us, completely absorbed by that shiny object in our peripheral vision.
One scenario:
A guy, who seems very down, tells me about a girl that is frustrating him. The one thing I continue to hear over and over is, "she's very pretty" and I hear emphasis in his voice on the word pretty. I ask, what do you have in common? What does she like to do? Knowing this person well, I can judge for myself if they are compatible based on his answers. His reply to my first question is, "well, she goes out to bars and does shots" etc. Hmmm okay, you're not really a drinker but let me dig further. What does she like to read? "She doesn't really read". What t.v. shows is she interested in? "She doesn't watch t.v." (say what?)
Does she have any favorite movies? "Well not really". Okay are you sure you're having a conversation with her? I say this tongue-in-cheek, and not out loud, I'm just thinking to myself. He admits that it's a struggle in trying to have dialogue when obviously they don't have much in common. Yet.....he seems very down about the fact that she's not really engaging in conversation with him. Regardless of having nothing in common, he wants to do everything he can to talk to her and make this connection.

How important is chemistry?

I've asked a lot of people this question. The answer I received the most was, very important, especially when you first meet someone. Unfortunately, in the dating world these days, I've learned that the way someone looks, to the observer, plays the biggest role on whether a conversation can even begin between the two people. I say unfortunately because I've learned that it's so much better to give the conversation a chance even if he doesn't look like Brad Pitt. I don't look like Angelina for godsake. =)
The person attempting to talk to either the beautiful girl, or handsome guy, also has a totally compatible friend who they are comfortable talking to, and laughing with, and sharing their life story with. But what does human nature do? It bypasses the compatible one standing right in front of them, and becomes distracted by the shiny one they can barely talk to.
This happens with both men and women from what I've come to understand, in listening to my single friends stories about their dating lives. Depending upon maturity levels, the list of must-haves evolves from one thing to another as we grow and learn about what we want in a life partner.
When I was in my twenties I am sure that what someone looked like was the main thing I cared about. I can admit that here, I'm being honest. As I grew more mature, I've come to realize that it's not as important. But chemistry is.

"Do I love you because you're beautiful, Or are you beautiful because I love you?-~Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II, Cinderella

What's more important to me now, is what's inside their soul. What motivates them? And is their 'core' one that matches my 'core'? When my grandpa passed away would this have been someone I could have comfortably stood next to, knowing that they would make me feel less sad just by being there? When we turn 70 years old and can't physically do as much as we used to, is this someone I enjoy having a conversation with? Someone whose opinion means something to me, and mine to them?

If I ask my single male friends what they are looking for in a mate, they insist they are looking for someone who brings something more to the table. And yet, when it comes time to make their selection they often choose just the opposite. Let me clarify, not all, just some. We know what’s good for us and yet at times we choose differently. And some of my single women friends do the bad boy thing. "I know Chris is bad for me and yet, this weekend I called him and when he didn't return the call, I was sad".

I read something recently that said "Ever notice that our looks fade about the same time as our eyesight starts to fail?" It was enlightening to me in a way. When you fall in love with someone and then spend your life with them, you're going to see them aging along with you. But that won't change how you feel about them if that love you grew into at the beginning, is real. My grandparents used to see the 15 year old they fell in love with, (yes really, 15) standing in front of them at the age of 60. I'm sure of this because of the way they treated each other. That thought was cemented when I watched my grandpa go to her hospital room where she was recovering from a stroke, every single day and stay with her until nighttime and she slept.

I am so attempting to resist making this all about one of my favorite movies, The Notebook. But this scene comes to mind. Noah is elderly, and Allie is suffering from Ahlzheimers, and living in a home where she can be cared for. He goes to visit her every day. When talking to his children who are trying to get him to just go home, because she doesn't even recognize her own children, he replies with "That's my sweetheart in there. Wherever she is, that's where my home is"

I will end with this, I do believe chemistry is important. We can't help who we are attracted to in the dating game. I just think that when it comes time to ask the important question, "will you spend your life with me?", or even just "will you go out with me?, that the person we are asking should be one we can enjoy in all ways, not just enjoy looking at.

French breakfast on the horizon. I miss Paris and will try to recapture it any way that I can. Croissant and fromage anyone?
See you soon,
Tiffany

Decorate your life with what you want

One of my favorite friends, and fellow twitterites, tweeted this recently: "I'm too old for posters". I laughed but immediately thought, well do we have to have an age limit on having them? Yes I know, decorating our living space like we're still in college, when we are no longer in college, would be a faux paux I suppose. A decorators nightmare! But I still say, oh just do it.
This led to thoughts of, carpe diem! To thine own self be true! Look at that, a simple "tweet" took me to quotes with deeper meaning, or mantras. My mind is like a subway train. It stops at certain places allowing people to get on, but then off it goes quickly to the next destination.
I have a framed "poster" of the movie "Breakfast at Tiffany's" in my living room. The frame is nice, a deep charcoal color that matches the charcoal leather chair and ottoman that sits directly beneath the picture.

To the left of that picture, strategically placed near the front door, is a handmade wooden sign, painted in Hawaiian colors, that reads "Mahalo (thank you) for removing your shoes". I bought this in Waikiki Beach.

On a wood end table with drawers, (it's so quaint) that sits catty-cornered in my kitchen, lies a glass Eiffel Tower that lights up if you push the button underneath it. You have to get one of these if you are standing under the actual Eiffel Tower, and the guy selling them has charm oozing from his european accent and his soft eyes, right?

Three paintings of ocean scenes are scattered throughout my apartment, one above the fireplace, one above my bed, and one on a living room wall. Each reminding me of my love of the beach, and the tide.....one of these has a special story attached to it because my stepdad bought the painting and it hung in his living room for years.

My hallway is where Marilyn Monroe looks sheepishly through eyes half open, telling a story with her lopsided smile and intense gaze. Is it a poster? No. It's a framed print, behind glass, and also attached to a story. A best friend bought it for me for Christmas one year, because she knows me very well. I've always been fascinated with Marilyn, not to the point of obsession, but more "gone too soon, and wasn't she just lovely" thoughts.
I collect suns. I don't know what else to call them. Hispanic art? I always see them in Tijuana, Mexico, or the Dallas Farmers market even. Hand painted, and hand made, some out of metal, others out of ceramic tile. I have a few made out of terra cotta. Each one has it's own story, different colors and sizes. Where I bought them, who I was with, or if it was a gift. I have a really cool, almost glittery, round plaque (for lack of a better word) with some sort of family crest on it, hanging in my bedroom, that I bought in Tijuana. A sun enveloped around a moon, hanging in my living room.

The front bathroom has three seahorses in various sizes hanging on the wall, drenched in my favorite oceanic colors of seafoam green, various blues, and purple. "Villa Toscana....Cabernet", this painting hangs in my kitchen. The list goes on.....

Each item tells you a little bit about me. I don't have one theme in my house. It's not all "Hawaiian" or "Suns", or "Paris", or "the Ocean".
How you decorate where you live, especially when certain items have stories attached to them, is in essence, sharing part of your story.
I have big dreams of how I would decorate a house if I lived in one. But actually now that I look around me, I don't see anything I own now that I wouldn't use in that house. These things are Tiffany. My touch is in every room.

When I am no longer here, I can't take any of these things with me. But really, life is short. If you want to get that cool poster and hang it on the back of your bedroom door, just do it. I won't judge.

If it's Ryan Gosling I may confiscate it.
=)

Decorate your life with what you want. Let your things tell a story. I'll read it!
See you soon,
Tiffany

Breakfast at Tiffany's......I wish it could be on the patio but it's too freakin hot outside.

"Where Knowledge is Power!"

When I was in school, and I'm talking about the very early years, we used to sing like we were the next American Idols, with ABANDON. One would think I would have made sure I joined choir with the way I love to sing, but I'm a realist. I said I love to sing, I didn't say it sounded good. I had the good fortune of having some really awesome teachers, who truly cared if the student actually "got it". In examining who I would put on my list of favorites I see one common denominator. The teachers who used to teach with song. You know, little dittys about facts mixed with melody, often rhyming and all the while, teaching. We were learning by repetitiveness. I don't think we realized it back then.
Scholastic Rock (or Schoolhouse Rock) was the coolest thing in the world to me, I learned about adverbs through a character named Lolly, how fun is that? I learned my multiplication tables watching animals go on an ark times two! I loved watching a Bill become a law, he had quite a journey, and at times seemed very reflective in his expression, waiting on that red tape to unravel on Capitol Hill.
InterPlanet Janet, the galaxy girl, taught me about the solar system. Comets and planets she sailed through, with her flowing blonde hair.
Hey, did you know, "a noun is a person, place or thiiiiiiiiiing"?
"Adjectives are words we use to REALLY describe things!" I hate it when I'm in need of an excellent adjective and can't muster one, I will dig until I find the right word.
And a Verb? "That's what's a happenin!"
I learned that two becoming three to form a family was like magic. It is what we do, and it's something to be excited about. "Three.....is a magic number.....yes it is!"
When I sang along to "A shot heard around the world.....was the start of a revolution!" I was seeing the ride of Paul Revere, and then hearing the shot at Lexington heard 'round the world, starting the war of Independence. When you're a child you don't know the importance of learning the details of this history.

To this day I can recite the Preamble because of Schoolhouse Rock. Unfortunately my friends grow tired of me singing it to them, to prove I can. "Weeeee the people......in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, ensure domestic tranquilityyyyyy" it's usually right about now when they roll their eyes and walk away. (lol)

I learned that taxation without representation wasn't fair! "No more kings......no more kings!" The pilgrims coming over on the Mayflower, and setting up shop in their new world, thinking all was well. But George the Third taxed their cup of tea. Their retaliation? Dump their tea in the harbor of course! The end result? "Looks like its gonna be......a free countryyyyyy"

And my favorite....
"Conjunction Junction....what's your function? Hookin up words, and phrases and clauses...."
Are you kidding me? We're talking about sentence structure and how to build it! I LOVE words! I love sentences, and I love grammar. I want to GO to conjunction junction. I actually have to visit often if you want to know the truth, because sometimes I write something and then it doesn't look right.

I could sing my way out of this post, but surely you don't want me to do that. But just know that if you're teaching in any aspect, if you make it fun, those kids will remember. And grow up. And then blog about you.

"Knowledge is Power" indeed. Let's watch a Bill become a Law while we sit in my kitchen and have breakfast. Oh come ON, it's exciting to learn about what happens if you get vetoed!

If you're still reading, that means you want to learn, with song. I'm just sayin.

See you soon!
Tiffany

Apologizing is not easy

Signs.....signs.....everywhere there's signs. I'm not really singing with Tesla right now. But I'm thinking about all of the signs I've been receiving today from...well where DO they come from? Fate? The Universe? The Cosmos? God? I'm not sure, but the ones that kept appearing to me in various form are talking about apology.
When my alarm clock woke me up this morning (oh how I don't like you, little black box on my nightstand that won't let me sleep in) with one of my favorite bands, "One Republic" singing "it's too late to apologize......it's too laaaaaaate" I didn't mind. I love that song. But I don't believe it's ever too late to apologize. As usual, and this is the way my mind works people, I immediately get on that topic inside my head. That's just how I roll. But, I didn't stay there long, as I got ready for work. I sang.....drank some ice water, thought about the ridiculous blazing hot Dallas temps outside, the humidity that was going to un-do what I was doing to my hair the very minute I step outside the front door, and so it goes....
Got in the car, blasted the air conditioning before I melted, put the car in reverse, and turned the radio on as I was backing out of the parking space. The strains of "Oh it seems to me, that sorry seems to be the hardest word" filtered through the speakers, Elton John singing so heartfelt about what? Apology.
Hmmmmm. That again. Back my thoughts go to the subject. But as I sang along, my mobile recording studio has great acoustics ya'll, I started thinking about work. What lies ahead for me today, as I drive toward my all time favorite destination. Do I need to even tell you? Of course it's Starbucks. Remember, this is where I go and they know my order before I get through the front door. I adore these people.
I get out of the car, one of my favorite baristas arrives at the same time, so we walk in together. As the cool air hits me (and it felt good, it's so hot here, have I mentioned this?) I hear Buckcherry singing......"Sorry". I am not kidding you. I love this song. "And I just...wanted to saaaaay..... I'm sorry". I stood there for a minute, letting people go ahead of me in line. I thought, okay I'm hearing a message today. I couldn't believe how close together I was hearing songs with the same theme. It was slightly surreal to me. I snapped out of it long enough to get my lovely venti iced coffee. Get back in the car, sipped the coffee for a minute, and said out loud (yes I said it out loud, this is why people stare) "okay...what's it gonna be" as I turn the radio on.
One of my ALLtime favorite bands, The Fray, is singing "Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend". How to Save a Life is one of my favorite songs by them. I thought well, "sorry" isn't in this song. At least that specific word isn't. But I feel like it leans toward being sorry. Maybe I'm reaching, I muse.
So yeah, this has been on mind all day. The question I pose is this, "do you have anyone you need to say "I'm sorry" to? I think it's important to apologize when you've done something that hurt someone. The receiver may not accept your apology. Every situation is different. But if you apologize, you at least show them they are worth the words. The effort. Apologizing is not easy. I've had a few people tell me stories about how they stumbled and stammered in attempting to apologize to whomever they hurt, therefore making it seem like it wasn't sincere. I reassured them that it may have felt like the person thought that, but if they meant what they said and took the time to try, it would still come across as sincere. I also think it's important to be specific when you apologize. I've heard "sorRY" being used sarcastically. A statement is made, and then an immature response clearly indicating that they are definitely not sincere, I'm not a fan of this. If you are specific, it is clear that you understand what went wrong, and you are attempting to rectify it.
I've also heard people begin a sentence with, "I'm sorry, but"....and they continue with their belief on whatever topic is being discussed. I always think to myself, why do you begin with "I'm sorry". Are you really sorry for the way you believe? I don't want to be that way. I want to wholeheartedly be proud of what I believe.
I sent an email to someone I truly cared about at one time, pouring my heart out to this person to the point of it taking me all day off and on to write and send the darn thing. Even though it has been discussed since, I never received a written reply to that email. I was taught that I wasn't worth the reply. Months later, the discussion led with "I'm sorry I didn't ever reply to your email", and me saying, "I'm actually kind of sorry I sent that to you". The reply? "Don't be, you were stating how you feel". What a huge exhale I had when I heard that. But see the effect? I remember this discussion word for word even now, and it's an old one. The apology came late.....but it still came.

If there is someone you need to apologize to, be brave. Say the words. If there is someone that owes you an apology, and you don't ever receive one, forgive them. If they do apologize to you eventually, be gracious even if you are unable to totally forgive. They're trying. It's all we can do.

Dallas summertime equals so much fresh fruit I don't know what to do with all of it, breakfast it is!
See you friend,
Tiffany

With every breath you take, there will be a dream. Seize it

Can I? yes you can
Will I? yes you will
Won't I? if you don't, you probably won't
May I? yes you may

Wonder, I? please do, often
Ponder, I? it is imperative
Decide, I? decision requires action to reach completion
Act, I? absolutely

Trust, I? with faith
Change, I? without question
Grow, I? in uncountable ways
Believe, I? with open mind

Weigh, I? with mental scales
Pray, I? Eternally
Think, I? all day and night
Love, I? without prompting

Ask the questions you want to know the answers to. Ask specifically, not generally. Take notes with the received answers. Organize the notes. Write them as though you're in college writing your thesis. Frame them in lovely colors and soft shadows. But write them boldly. In flowing handwriting that speaks of you.

Your life novel is being written every day, and has been since the day you were born. Remind yourself that you are the author. You will have many rough drafts. The final copy of  this book will include the last page that will have a space in between the last sentence, and "The End". You may have a prologue, an epilogue, and even a dedication. The characters you invite into each chapter are important, choose them wisely. A thank you section is gracious. An index is organizational. Interviews are helpful, and may invite more characters into your story. Research may be the most fun part of the gathering your truths, and facts.

Then decide on that ending. Fairytale? Happily Ever After, it exists, I know this to be true.
The pages are numbered, but the count is unknown. Until the last page is written..



Believe, I?

Always.

Love,
Tiffany

Epilogue: Dream, I? with every breath you take, there will be a dream. Seize it.

Do you have your life list written out?

I think it can be sad at times when I ask someone, what do you want? where do you want to go? who do you want to be? who will you choose? and they are unable to answer. Today I'm removing myself from that category, the one who is unable to answer. The person asking the question is me, and now I want to answer. "Who knows, maybe if I blog it I can come back to it when I forget what I said", I think to myself. Actually that is why I think everyone should blog, or journal in some way. When I was younger I didn't want to because I didn't want there to be tangible evidence lying around that had my dreams, hopes, and wishes in it. I don't feel that way now, I don't mind sharing my thoughts. I'll be selective though. =) I have always had such trouble opening up and sharing. I'm working on it....

What do I want?
Everyone that I care about to be happy and healthy. I get a warm feeling when the stars align at the exact same time and everyone in my life pie is good.

Where do I want to go?
I'm VERY fortunate to have some of my dream destinations fulfilled already. Paris.....Hawaii....I want to see London one day. Italy, Maine (don't laugh, I really do want to go northeast during Fall some time), New York City, Manhattan specifically, Australia.....oh this list could just go on forever. I used to think I wouldn't ever see Europe. Now that I have I know that I can go anywhere I want to. And I love that.

Who do I want to be?
The best version of myself. This is a definite work in progress. I'm not a happy camper when life gives me a pop quiz and I fail. So I keep studying.....I want to be the friend that I want my friends to be for me. The person that can be counted on, not the one that will let you down. The muse that inspires, reminding you how truly fantastic you already are, and can be if you just try. The comfortable place someone can go, where silence is often more comforting than talking. The comedian who will make you laugh when you didn't think you ever would again. When I make my friends/family belly laugh I could live on that for months. 
Recently, I was looking through a picture box I keep under my bed, laughing out loud at some of the pictures I came across, and then feeling sad about people that I've lost, i.e. my grandpa, my grandma, etc. Going down memory lane will take you on an emotional roller coaster. But I enjoy that ride. I looked at a picture of me that was taken about ten years ago, and thought, who was she? Which lead to, who am I? That "then and now" mantra.....I'm still mulling it over. Hence, this post.

Who will I choose?
I've been trying to write this list since I was 17, I'm not kidding. That could be considered extremely sad or lame in a way, along the lines of, good grief don't you know YET? Ah that soul searching just takes time doesn't it? I've always had the misfortune of reversing the question asked, not who will I choose, but, who will choose me. I've changed my line of thinking recently.
I am not the girl that starts her list with "he must have blue eyes", "he must have a shiny new car", "he must have a huge house on the beach". Now if these things exist, don't misunderstand, there's nothing at all wrong with them!
Based on what I've learned so far in this life study, I think I've finally found my list.
My future life partner, wherever he may be, should have, in the very least, these few qualities. A calm manner. The kind of calm people gravitate toward. Unassuming. I love this word. What I mean by this is, he has no idea just how fabulous he is. Or really, he does know, but he does not show it. I've met the cocky guy, the one who believes he is Gods gift, on several occasions. We don't hit it off very well. A good listener, because he truly cares about what I am saying. Not the one who appears to be listening, but really isn't because he's too busy thinking of what he wants to say next. Someone who I have such chemistry with, it's almost like we're in science class, and both getting straight A's on our project titled, "where 'you and I' become 'we'". A genuinely nice person. Compassionate towards the elderly, and children. Someone that I know without a doubt, has my back and also trusts me completely. Someone I trust completely. Someone who pushes me to live up to my potential, using a gentle hand and kind words. A wicked sense of humor, it just has to be there, otherwise he won't understand mine. Someone I let all the way in to my most secret places, because I've become comfortable enough to share everything inside, and then doesnt judge me for anything they find there. Every girl wants to hear she's beautiful, but I also want to hear "you're smart, I value your opinion". A guy said to me once, "just sit there and look pretty honey, I've got this" and he patted my arm. (He's still alive because I don't want to be behind bars, that is the only reason) Laughing out loud again......A lover of words, books, movies, lyrics, and music. An original, unique in all of the ways I've come to love him for, who won't compromise to conform.
And finally, the other half of me who thinks things through with the first word being, "Us", rather than "I".

I want you to know how freeing it is for me to have my list complete. To know with absolute certainty, what I want.

Do you have your life list written out? Where do you want to go? What do you want?

I'll see you soon,
Tiffany

PS I got a new egg poacher pan. Guess what we'll be having for breakfast for a while.....

Forgiveness or forgetfulness.....which would you choose?

They say "don't look back". I don't ever know who "they" are when I make statements like this. Everyone in general, no one in particular. I've often given this advice myself to friends. But a thought occurred to me when I was writing the last post about my trip home to see my family. I wrote, "I could see the completely round sphere of yellow orange in my rear view mirror", referring to the sun sinking lower in the sky behind me, as I drove east. Excited for where I was going, I was driving forward to a destination I really wanted to reach as quickly as possibly. Obviously I was looking straight ahead, you can't drive looking backwards right? But, I still saw the sun, in my rear view mirror, it was beautiful.

My thoughts are these. Yes, we should absolutely move forward. See tomorrow, be excited about it if we can. If we're unable to, then we should make changes so that we can be. Look forward to the future and the possibilities it holds. But I don't think we should lose all sight of the past. The decisions we've made along the way, good and bad, shaped who we are today. New friendships and old ones, new jobs, or ones we've stayed in for a long time, relationships or marriages.....life decisions. These things encompass the sum total of our current identity. It's okay to read the last chapter, close the book, reflect, then place it on a shelf. But that doesn't mean the next book won't be written.

One of my favorite movies is "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind", if only for the intrigue it brings alone. It made me ask myself the question, "would you erase this if you could", referring to past decisions. If I'm being honest of COURSE there are things I would like to erase from my past, I'm human. But if I could only answer once, involving all decisions, friendships, etc, my answer was no then and still is. Even if some of the things are painful, I don't want to erase them. I learned from them. If I erase it, my knowledge goes with it, that wouldn't work for me. I need what I learned, for the next book.
I'm not necessarily trying to plug this movie, it's definitely different and probably not for everyone. A good friend told me that it's based on a poem by Alexander Pope, titled "Eloisa to Abelard". If I had been a "googler" back then, when I saw it, I would have known this. I was glad he told me, you know I went straight to google to check it out. =)
In Pope's poem, Eloisa is in anguish over the powerful feelings she still has for Abélard, especially in her dreams, and by the realization that for various reasons (I'm being vague on purpose in case you want to read for yourself) , he could not return her feelings even if he wanted to. And so she begs, not for forgiveness, but for forgetfulness.

Okay I understand why she would want this. How easy is that, to hit "delete" on memories that are painful. But to grow, isn't it better to just let that pain in for a little while, then release it? If it's handled that way, it's got closure written all over it.

"Those things that hurt, instruct" Benjamin Franklin

So I'm driving forward, looking through the windshield, towards tomorrow. But that sunset in my rear view mirror is pretty awesome, eh? Glance at it every once in a while, it's okay.

We have to have watermelon with breakfast tomorrow, it's SO good.
See you soon,
Tiffany

"How happy is the blameless vestal's lot! The world forgetting, by the world forgot. Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd ..."

There's only one place they call me one of their own

I recently went to my extended families hometown for a visit, thirsty.....but I didn't know I was. Needing to be close to my family where love seemingly flows from a spring, and where I receive reminders of who I am and where I came from, I returned to where I live now, what I now call home, restored, quenched even. I didn't realize how thirsty I was actually. I think it hit me when I was driving on a long highway stretch, within an hour of my destination. The sun was starting to lower behind me, and everything looked green, even the air if thats possible. I don't know if I can describe this well enough to give it justice. I could see the completely round sphere of yellow orange in my rear view mirror, I had music playing, the highway ribboning in front of me as I pressed forward. I glanced to the left and saw a barn sticking out of an almost sepia-like color of field and fence and farmland, the roof the most vibrant red I've seen in a long time. I wanted to stop and try to capture it with my camera, but my right foot refused to ease up on the gas pedal, I was going home. To family. As I drove I came across a highway sign that was dedicated to a couple who have been married for over 50 years, and have since passed on. It hit me right then. This is what I'm talking about. Love. That lasts a lifetime. Family. My roots. Where I go to ask, who am I again? I seem to have lost myself somewhere, in the mix of the pace we all run beginning with each morning at the crack of dawn. The busy-ness of life, the rat race, the day to day office politics that I detest, the traffic, the details, the paying of bills, and mundane things we have to do when we signed up for adulthood. "Hey did I sign up for this?" I often muse to myself, jokingly mind you.

See, when I go home, I get to relive that carefree feeling of childhood. I get to go to my moms and let her do her thing, which is, be my mom, and she does it well. I get to go to my sisters, my favorite part of my childhood, and say things to her that only she would understand, things that sprang from various stories from when we were growing up. I get to see my Dads smile light up his face because I'm back in his town for a visit. And one of my most favorite things, I get to make a few calls saying, "hey, I'm here, lets get together" and then see my whole family show up for the very thing I invited them to. I drink from the well of familial love and adoration. These people would do anything for me, and I know this like I know my name is Tiffany, and always will be. There is nothing greater than this feeling. My friends are very important to me, but so is my family. I am part of them, and they are a part of me, it feels like the biggest circle of love and life I've ever seen.

I did a lot of reflecting this short trip home. Every morning I took some time for myself at a very early hour, journal and camera entow, to the coffee shop on the quaint little square of my hometown. Once I had my cup of awesome, I sat down at a window table, overlooking the street directly across from the courthouse, and I wrote out my thoughts. After I finished, I then drove around and took pictures, something I have always wanted to do but never took the time. There's something about the sound of driving down a brick street, YES they still have them!, listening to my favorite music, and whipping the car into a parking space quickly if I instantly became inspired enough to turn the camera on and snap a few pictures. I was laughing at myself the first morning that I did this, because of the early hour I found that I just stopped in the middle of the desolate street, hopped out of the car, and snapped away, not realizing that I didnt even bother to get out of the middle of the road. There was no traffic, who was I hurting? =)

I remember the third day I went into "Java" (thats the coffee shop, appropriate yes?) the guy behind the counter asked, "are you a student?" Dude if you want a tip just let me do it, there's no reason to butter me up here. (I'm laughing as I type) I said, "Yes. Of life" He smiled and said, "rock on", as he handed me the iced coffee.
When he asked, on the last morning, "see you tomorrow?' I replied, kind of sadly now that I think about it, "not tomorrow, but soon" and smiled.

If you don't have a coffee shop, go somewhere. Anywhere you can find, where you can gather your thoughts quietly. Write them out. Take a walk, and some pictures along the way if you want to. The end result is something you will have with you always.

For breakfast lets have coffee, writing, music, and the food of your choice. Okay?
Until next time,
Tiffany

Jon Bon Jovi said it (sang it) best, "who says, you can't go home? There's only one place they call me one of their own"