Change doesn't have to be our enemy......

"People are always telling you that change is a good thing. But all they're really saying is that something you didn't want to happen at all... has happened." --Kathleen Kelly, You've Got Mail









In  a way I wish my life was such that I could say the next line, and it would be true.




"My store is closing this week. I own a store, did I ever tell you that?"




Wouldn't it be fantastic to own a bookstore in the Upper West Side? Of course,  I say this without knowing what it would take to own and run a bookstore. I do know that I can spend hours, I can spend HOURS......in a bookstore. I feel like it's a place full of old friends and new friends, and comfort,  and knowledge just waiting to be obtained.







I've never really enjoyed change, even with the idea that it will most likely be for the better. It's the process really.  The first feeling, including the question: Wait, I like it this way, why do I have to change this?




The resolve: Oh, well, I guess I have no choice.


The implementation: I used to do it this way, but now I do it this way. I don't drive here, I go there.




The embracing: This isn't so bad. I can do this.




Not too long ago, I, along with thousands of other employees, learned that the company that I work for, Verizon, sold three large states, to another telcom. One of these states happens to be the one that I currently live in. Was this sale a huge surprise? Not really, there have been various rumors for quite some time that this might happen. Given that, along with previous similar sales, I think we all knew that sooner or later, it would happen. Because this sale has been announced publicly, I know that I am within legal limits to write my thoughts in the interwebs, should I so choose.




The world looks different when news of this magnitude is delivered swiftly, ending with, "now back to work for now, let's continue to do our best in support of our customers".




While I wholeheartedly agree that supporting our customers is absolute top priority above all else, I think I can speak for my team, who are also my friends and some of the greatest people on this planet, when I say, "Well can I (we) have just a moment to let this sink in?"




The dust hasn't settled and won't for quite a while, but in the very least, we've had a little time to get used to the idea. Asking ourselves the obvious questions, "what does this mean for us?", "will we be able to continue with Verizon, or will we have to go with the new telcom?", "will our team be split up?!"....oh just that idea alone, is a very sad thing.




So, given the fact that Dallas has been reminded that Winter is not over, (hello cold, snowy, icy days) I have had some time to reflect, in the quiet of my home, and what I propose to myself, and my friends, is this:




Change doesn't have to be our enemy. Shifting roles, and responsibilities, and leaders, may not be a piece of cake. Be confident in our ability to adapt to the evergreen ways of large companies that often go through things like this.. Stand firm in knowing that we are most capable in dealing with whatever hand we are dealt. Talk to a financial advisor. Revisit your 401K and save, save and save some more. Brush up your resume, in the very least this should be done once in a while anyway, regardless of any changes to your career. And finally,don't let resentment or bitterness set in. This last task is easier said than done, I know. We've given our lives. Very long days, after hours during the week, weekend work hours, sometimes forgetting what an eight hour workday is like, cancelled vacations, all for the demands of the business.




I'm going to carry on with the determination that however this may shake out, I will still give it my all. I am not going to fold. I don't know how to play poker, but I've always wanted to say that.




So, for now, I'm a Verizon employee, who works on a management team, that has been my favorite for a long time, during the course of my career. Whatever change may come, I will remain hopeful that we will survive together.


And that is what is going on with me.


What's new with you?


See you soon friend,
Tiffany


PS Recently my sister introduced the Goji berry to me, I'm not sure why I didn't know about this healthy item before now. I've been adding them in each day, even if it's just to eat a handful right out of the bag I bought them in. They are a fabulous addition to a protein shake if you are inclined to do that sort of thing. Give them a try! They are now a part of Breakfast at Tiffanys.





**disclaimer: I don't work in billing, or directly with the customer. I don't work on the wireless side. While I may not be able to help you with your bill, wireless, wireline, or FiOS, I am however, a proud Verizon employee who will always listen to what you have to say, and provide solution ideas to any issue you may encounter with your service.

The more things change, the more they stay the same......

I don't like change. I've discussed this with you before. I'm getting a lot better with the idea behind change though. It usually brings 'better'. I enjoy running into an old friend, or hearing from one with a phone call, and hearing in their voice, that even though circumstances in their lives may have changed since we last spoke, they are still the same person. I depend on that I guess. If you were awesome then, please be awesome now......is what I'm wishing for.
I've reconnected with a few friends in social media that have known me forever. I always love hearing that I'm exactly the same. It's not so much when they say "you look exactly the same!" (although that is really nice to hear) but when they say, "your smile lights up the room just like it always did", or "you make me laugh until my stomach hurts just like you always have". I sit back and think, see? Some things not changing are a very good thing.
One good thing that change can bring is personal growth. When I observe someone growing into themselves, becoming comfortable in their own skin, and saying mature things, making mature decisions, I smile like you wouldn't believe. It's a "feelgood" for sure, for me, and quite possibly why I'm attempting to do some of these things as well.
When someone isn't comfortable in their own skin, it makes me uncomfortable. Likewise, those around them. I feel bad for them, and often think, what can I do to help. Can I talk them into loving themselves in some way? Of course I can't. But I can talk to them, and listen. The listen is more important than the talking. I call true friendship "free therapy", and I'm extremely grateful for my free therapists.
My mom told me once that I couldn't save the world. She didn't mean it in a bad way, she said that because she cares about me. She sees me, at times, taking some things on that may become cumbersome in the long run, and she wants me to be happy. Light. Not carrying too much of a heavy load. It's that whole "weight of the world on your shoulders" idea. No one wants to see someone they care about carrying a heavy load, it's tiring.
I've given advice before where I've explained that what my friend is telling me about, is a "monkey on their back" and it's best to let it go. I'm a firm believer in this.

One of my favorite children's book illustrators (and graphic artists) is Mary Engelbreit. I love her whimsical view of the world and how she expresses herself through her drawings combined with her words. Here is how she views change:
~ If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it. ~ Mary Engelbreit
Can I get an amen?

So, I'm still on that archeological dig through my soul. I'm finding all kinds of things in there. Some I am keeping, others are being discarded. Maybe I should have a garage sale!

Meet me for breakfast tomorrow, Mimi's Cafe has the best mimosas. It's still Breakfast at Tiffanys if I'm with you. Plus I need help in getting a game plan in place for saving the world. Mom, I really can.

Love,
Tiffany

I'm still me when I reach the destination

Change. Why do I have trouble embracing this? I almost always end up being happier after the change, whatever it may be. I've had the "thinking outside the box" idea on my mind today. My first thought was, but that's going to mean change. Ugh! Then I laughed and thought, why do you struggle with this so much. The inside of my box is FINE, I like it dangit! Damn comfort zones and the warmth they provide.

Work related change I reallllly struggle with. I get inside that niche and become comfortable, I don't want anyone messing with it. It's lovely in there!  But of course, I eventually learn that the change was a good thing. All of a sudden I know ten things instead of nine. My skill set is broader, my elastic mind is stretched, (sometimes to the point of breaking), but I'm sayin.  It forces me to embrace, rather than to fight, whatever work related change has come my way. Sometimes I do this begrudgingly, but I have a friends voice in the back of my head saying, just embrace it. Wrap your arms around it, you're going to be so fabulous at this. (Hi Vanessa, I can still hear you).....
During a conversation with a coworker, he mentioned the "after we broke up she changed her hair color and style" thing. I'm not sure if I've ever done this, because. Well see above. I dont like change!  That doesn't mean I've always had the same hair style. (Just sayin). But that kind of change comes on my terms, not someone elses. And I do understand why she would want to do that. Friends have told me about this idea in the past, mentioning that it just made them feel better to be a little different after something like that happens. I get it, nothing wrong with that.
Decorative changes I don't seem to struggle with as much. I recently got the bright idea *cough, to paint an accent wall in my living room. It was called radicchio. If someone had said, hey try this color, it's called radicchio, I would have immediately said no.way. I don't want a purple wall in my living room. But this color wasn't purple. It was more like a very light poppy, at least on the card it was. Fast forward a week, guess what color that wall is today. Cafe Au Lait. So yeah. I spent money on two cans of paint because I so didn't like that color after I painted the ENTIRE WALL. Sigh. "Don't be afraid of color" they always say. Well I'm not, but let me just say this. Be very selective mmmkay? Because poppy makes the room appear half the size.

I think what I need to do is relate change to growth, rather than something negative. *Cliche alert* "everything happens for a reason". That sort of thing. I remember when I moved from Columbia (MO) to Dallas, on the drive down I was mentally screaming "why am I doing this?!" Because they know me well, my close friends were amazed, they couldn't believe I was moving to another state. Now that I'm here I know I could live anywhere. Moving across state lines is not that big of a deal. I'm still me when I reach the destination.

This is true in relationship changes as well. I know it sucks to have things not work out the way you thought they would in the beginning. The flipside of that scenario is when two friends that were friends for a very long time, suddenly call me with a wedding invitation. (hello When Harry Met Sally) =) Love. it.

“The key to change... is to let go of fear.”-Roseanne Cash

Okay I hear the message Universe. I'll work on not being afraid of change. I promise I will.

Breakfast at Tiffany's has to be something completely different today, it's all about change right?

See you soon,
Tiffany

PS Oh but the coffee has to be Starbucks, let's not get ridiculous.