I think in the ordinary, one can find the....extraordinary

In which, I discuss, the dating world, again.....

It's not really playing right now, the song, but I am hearing strains of "I can't make you love me.....if you don't.....I can't make your heart feel.....something it won't"

In talking with a friend about "trying too hard", a lot of things were mulled over.

At what point do we learn that the most important thing in the world, is to be ourselves?
 
At my friends request, I watched American Beauty over the weekend, for the first time. Gasp! I know. I observed lives unfold in a richly dark humor, hypocritical, deep yet light at times, hot mess filled with a thousand rose petals kind of way......
 
There is a scene where Ricky Fitts (Wes Bentley) and Angela (Mena Suvari) are yelling at each other. Obviously Angela is a very pretty girl, see above.
She says, "well at least I'm not ugly"
His reply, "yes you are. And you're boring and you're totally ordinary and you know it"
 
Throughout the whole movie Angela is constantly talking about the effect she has on men, and how many men she has had sex with, bragging about her conquests with the idea that everyone should care about nothing at that moment other than what she is saying. I knew from the beginning that she was probably a virgin.
The most physically attractive person can often be the most insecure.
 
The thing is, if someone tries really hard to be someone they are not, just so the person they are interested in will like them, how long can they keep that facade going? And how tiring would that be? Eventually, the differences will surface, or even more tragic, they lose their identity altogether. In American Beauty, Ricky had zero interest in Angela. He was intrigued by Jane (Thora Birch) who seemed to have depth to her. I don't want to say she's not attractive by any means. She just has a different look than Mena.
 
A good friend was venting to me about the fact that it's hard for him to meet women. Single....and 42, he's not really wanting to meet his soulmate in a bar, he says. I said, then don't go to a bar. Go do the things you really like doing, then when you meet a woman doing that very same thing, you already have something in common. "It was so much easier in my twenties" he said.
Well that may be true. But it doesn't have to be hard I don't think. It just depends on several things that have a hand in it.....circumstances, choices, geography, and a little bit of fate come to mind.
 
American Beauty. My definition of being ordinary, a phrase I've used often in describing myself, has suddenly taken a new shine to it. I think in the ordinary, one can find the....extraordinary.
 
Extraordinary breakfasts have denver omelettes in them......join me.
See you friend,
Tiffany
 
PS I must mention Kevin Spacey and Annette Bening being ridiculous awesome in this movie. Incredible acting.....Chris Cooper as well. Allison Janney didn't say much, but played that role like she always has in the past, so believable you think the character is a real person outside of the movie.

Heart Shaped Thoughts

Love is the best four letter word ever written. I wish I could write a love story. I don't know if I'm talented enough to bring my characters to life in an amazing, can't put the book down, kind of way. But I have dialogue coming to me in my head all of the time. I've been having heart shaped thoughts lately.

.........A man and woman are sitting in a restaurant, meeting for the first time in fifteen years. When I say meeting for the first time, I mean, they've never met in person before. They became friends the old fashioned way. Writing to each other, and talking on the phone. With geographical distance, separate lives, different careers being unfortunate obstacles, they eventually uncrossed the paths that were crossed some time ago.
Now they sit across from each other, each in wonder of this thought, "I can't believe I'm looking you in the eye. For the first time ever" They didn't plan to meet, or be in the same city at the same time. Fate placed them there. The conversation flows as easily as it did during their first one. Laughter ensues just like it did as they got to know each other, with them sharing similar senses of humor. Toward the end of the evening, when it is clearly time to go, the woman is overcome with this thought; "if I don't tell him now, after all of this time, I may never get the chance again". She brings up a favorite movie, one they discussed so many times. A line from the movie states, "he knew I loved him enough, to bear the not knowing". She explains that this quote, was how she felt when she walked away from him so long ago. She came to understand that she couldn't hold his hand while he walked down his own path. Him falling in love with someone else, inevitable.
She told him......."The thing is, I've loved you since the day I realized it"

I was thinking about all of my favorite romantic movie quotes.
Runaway Bride
"Look, I guarantee there'll be tough times. I guarantee that at some point, one or both of us is gonna want to get out of this thing. But I also guarantee that if I don't ask you to be mine, I'll regret it for the rest of my life, because I know, in my heart, you're the only one for me"
You've Got Mail
"Yeah. I would have asked for your number, and I wouldn't have been able to wait twenty-four hours before calling you and saying, "Hey, how about... oh, how about some coffee or, you know, drinks or dinner or a movie... for as long as we both shall live?"

An Affair to Remember
"There must be something between us, even if it's only an ocean"

The Notebook
"So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day"

Bed of Roses
"Every now and then, um, everybody's entitled to too much perfection"

My own quotes:
"The other half of me who thinks things through with the first word being, "Us", rather than "I"

Quotes from others
".....the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life." regarding Soulmates, Elizabeth Gilbert

Song lyrics
Ryan Huston "Daydreams"
will you save me, and I'll save you....will you love me.... like I'll love you.....will you need me..... like I'll need you...
Taylor Swift "Love Story"
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess.....it's a love story, baby just say....yes"

Had enough of my heart shaped thoughts? =)

I mentally just heard you ask, "but wait. What does he say after she tells him that she has loved him all along?"
Visit for breakfast, maybe you can give me ideas on how you think it should end.....

See you soon!
Tiffany

My Haiku Breakthrough

It still bothers me
that I can't write a haiku
without help from friends

I posted that status update in Social Media, ending with. OMG. I've JUST HAD A BREAKTHROUGH!

I'm such a nerd people. No really. I am. I like watching Nature shows. I can be mesmerized for hours watching a spider spin a web, or a whale floating through oceanic waters in search of food. March of the Penguins, one of my favorites. "A look at the annual journey of Emperor penguins as they march, single file, to their traditional breeding ground"
A lot of people said to me, that movie was boring. Oh come ON! You don't want to watch penguins marching in single file to their next destination? for two hours? =)
I was sad when the baby penguin didn't make it out of its egg. Or if a seal got one of the penguins and they didn't make it back to their home. And I think I froze to death in the theatre that day, because it looked so.cold. in those scenes.

I'm not much of a gamer. Video gamer that is. I STILL don't own a Wii but aspire to have one some day. But you know, if I had what I wanted, I would be rescuing that princess in Mario Brothers on the original Nintendo system. I loved that game. One of the rare few I was good at. These days it seems like the required hand to eye coordination is too much for me. Sigh. Way back in the day my boyfriend at the time and I would play Mario Brothers until our eyes crossed. I don't know if this makes me a nerd or someone who doesn't spend time in a valuable manner. (laughing as I type)

A friend sent me a link to a Japanese I.Q. test one time, (go here: http://www.robmathiowetz.com/ ) and click where it says "Click to Begin"

I spent hours, I spent DAYS trying to get those freakin people across that darn river. My mom was visiting at the time. I threw my hands in the air and said MOM! you try. She sits down, calmly rolling up her sleeves. And gets them across the river in about fifteen minutes. Thank you, mother, for showing me that I can't think like the Japanese, but you can, and so quickly. (ell oh ell)

I like crossword puzzles but they usually end up reminding me that I should have paid more attention in school. Still, they tickle the brain. I like playing scrabble, and will fight for the truth if a word is in question. I want to learn how to play Yahtzee, poker, and maybe even learn how to shoot craps. A friend enticed me with an explanation of how it works, sounded complicated and fascinating at the same time.
I like cool math games, my favorite being Mancala. Stones, and a board, sounds boring doesn't it? It's so not boring. Not to me anyway!

I'm really nerdy
I wholeheartedly don't mind
I like who I am

I'm on a Haiku roll!

A great friend wrote one in like ten seconds in Facebook when I challenged him (I was like, seriously? it took me days) but I'm sharing because I loved it.

Standing in the mist
I thought I almost saw you
It was a rainbow
 
Pretty awesome eh?
 
So this "nerd" is closing this post now. I will tell you, if it's nerdy to watch cooking shows, well hello. How do you think I make these great breakfasts I invite you to?
 
See you soon,
Tiffany

My Friday Top Ten

I like listing out my favorites that are foremost on the brain, especially on a F*R*I*D*A*Y

1)  Air conditioning. This needs no explanation.

2)  Friday night ritual of friends gathering at the same place, around the same time, wherein we laugh, discuss, enjoy, breathe, exhale, forgive, learn, write, observe, and sing.

3) Wine. It's so sophisticated.

4) Yoga. Nature's prozac. Stretching and expanding muscles, to get one ready for the weekend. I'm always left with the thought, is there yoga for the brain available?

5) Haircuts. Where did that 5 inches go?! OH MY. But. I love them. Especially with fresh, sunkissed highlights.

6) Happy coworkers. You'll find them on Fridays.

7) Unexpected phone calls from old friends. I pay homage to these.

8) Handwritten letters or cards. They DO still exist, yay!

9) Football season right around the corner.

10) New cell phones. Of the Droid variety. Hello new technology, nice to meet you. Hold me.

And there you have it. What is your top ten for this week?

I'm totally thinking breakfast tacos today. Ole!

Visit soon, okay?
Tiffany

You just have to get your ducks in a row....

When I drove down the pretty street I live on, coming home from work today, I saw a mama duck and six ducklings crossing the street. Right in the middle of another excellent conversation with a friend for life, I slowed the car down to a crawl, and exclaimed "awwwwww". Then I thought, that.is.it.tiffany. "You just have to get your ducks in a row!"

Remember Runaway Bride?
Maggie Carpenter spends so much time trying to be exactly like who she's engaged to that when she finally does meet "the one", she has no idea who she is.

I recently told a guy who I've known for a while now that I cannot possibly live up to the idea that he has of me in his head. I'm just an ordinary girl, and not that exciting. Now listen. This is not a self deprecating statement. I know I'm funny, and can think for myself, and have my own personality and thoughts, dreams and wishes. That makes me unique because we all are unique. I was attempting to have an honest conversation, keeping things real.

I'm going to quote my life friend, taken from todays conversation: *names removed for privacy reasons

"So, regarding how he feels about you and he being the perfect match....... this is how I think I've felt about someone as well. But who we think a person is and who they really are, are at times, completely different. I thought he was just so great and then he showed me his true colors. Why can't we just be who we are in the beginning, during the middle, and all the way until the end. Stripped down. Just me. I think I'm scared to just let the real me out."

My best friend is right. Why can't we just be ourselves, all of the time? There are people that struggle with letting their guard down, and being totally themselves, because with "sharing" comes vulnerability. Who wants to be vulnerable I ask you?
The question usually being mulled over is "but, what if they don't like me?" This is one of those things I told you that I found during this archeological dig of my soul. I'm learning that it's okay if they end up not liking me.

If you ask Maggie Carpenter, how she likes her eggs cooked, she can't tell you. If you ask each one of her ex fiance's how she likes them cooked, they all answer with, "poached, just like me", "scrambled, just like me", "over easy, just like me". See where this is headed?

So she meets Ike Graham. And just like before, it goes all the way to him waiting for her at the altar. And she runs. Again.

But it's different this time. She does run. But soon, she comes to realize that she really loves him. Everything Ike. All of him. Oh what to do. She starts "digging", just like I'm doing now. The scene flashes across the screen of several different plates of eggs placed in front of her, all cooked a different way. "How DO I like my eggs?" she seems to wonder, it's not even spoken out loud. When her best friend visits to see if she's doing okay, she tells her, "you just have to get your ducks in a row".

The mama duck I saw this morning has her ducks in a row. Maybe I could interview her?

Tomorrow I'm having poached eggs, because I love them cooked that way. I like them cooked other ways too, but right now this is my favorite. How do you want yours cooked?

See you soon friend,
Tiffany

A Time for Everything

I was talking to a best friend this morning about the fact that sometimes I find that more athiests or agnostics, non-believers of practiced religion, etc, know more about what is written in the Bible than some Christians do. This is not a slam against Christians at all, don't misunderstand. It's just interesting. I mean if you're going to be a good atheist, why not study what is written to make a sound decision on where you stand in the religious world. One friend told me once that he wasn't sure what he believed, regarding God and the holy spirit. But he did say that he believed in a higher power. This same person reads the bible. I liked knowing that he, and others I know, are interested enough to see what is in there. It just showed me that they are intelligent people, these seekers of knowledge. Instead of stating these beliefs because they think it's the cool or "in" thing to do, they go to what is available to them for research.

I'm not going to get too deep into where I stand on this subject, other than I was raised a Baptist in a small town in Missouri. What I was taught since as far back as I can remember, is that there is a heaven and God does exist, and so does his Son. Let me say frankly, that the first time I encountered loss I was glad to know the things I have been taught most of my life. And believe them I do, today. Not just when I encounter loss. When I encounter every thing.

Perfect timing. Is there such a thing? I believe there is.

Ecclesiastes 3
A Time for Everything
1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

There is a time and place for everything. I think we lose sight of the right time during certain points of our lives. Regardless, the right time is there. I hope I can always recognize it, and if I don't, I hope I learn for the next opportunity.
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

My mom always told me that our day was written down. When we leave this earth. In knowing this, I don't want to know when my day is. I just want to live life as full as I possibly can. I've fallen short lately. That archeological dig of my soul I mentioned two posts ago, it's ongoing and the deeper I dig the more revelation I find. I think that my dig may never actually end, but right now it's intense. I hope when I near the less intense side, I can plant, and know if I need to uproot anything I've planted that isn't good for me. I want the soil to be rich in texture, and moist, and ready for new growth. If weeding becomes necessary, I'll put on gloves, put my hair up, and whack away.
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

Oh do we really have to kill? Yes we do, said the men standing in Germany, or Vietnam, Iraq..... that just got bombed within five feet of their base. What choice did they have? I hope the men that got to come home were able to heal from those terrible experiences.
A time to tear down and build. Katrina comes to mind, to name one example where this thought came to me. That hurricane obviously had a place in our history, unfortunately. But it's time to rebuild, and I think it's going well in New Orleans from what I read and hear on the news.
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

I used to think something was seriously wrong with me because I didn't cry very much. I thought, am I heartless, or unfeeling? I laugh a LOT. It's a huge part of who I am, I've always been this way. It's not as though I haven't had some very sad things happen in my life so far, I have. It was during those times that I learned I most definitely was not unfeeling, because the tears fell, one by one, until they couldn't form themselves anymore. There is, of course, a time to mourn. I wish we didn't need this time. But it is necessary for healing.
But that time to dance? That's where you'll find me most of the time.

5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

When I read scattering stones I immediately thought of scattering ideas to the wind. Throw out your thoughts, hopes, dreams! Why not? I say go for it. Say them out loud even. Gathering thoughts is something I do every day, especially when I'm thinking a little too much. I try not to be an overthinker, but it grabs me by the hand and tugs, and sometimes I walk with it.
Can you tell when someone needs a hug? I usually can, especially if I know the person well. Some people don't want strangers to hug them, I totally get that, and may even fall in that category myself. But I'm a hugger, as long as I'm sure that it's not time to refrain from doing so.
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

Searching. A quest often begins without us realizing we're looking for something. Some would say there is never a time to give up, depending upon what you're searching for. If it's a first edition copy of "Love in the Time of Cholera" (the first person that gets this movie reference wins a free pass for breakfast at tiffanys) would you ever tire of stopping in book stores to see if they had it? I wouldn't. A cure for cancer? They better never stop looking for this, I will lose all hope in mankind if they do. An end to poverty....the list goes on. But if you find yourself searching for something that you know deep down may not ever come to fruition, something more personal, it's important to recognize when to give up and move on. You'll know, I have faith in you.
I have countless "times to keep" stored in photo boxes, albums, journals, and my heart. Even if it's a goosebump moment, that can only be stored in your mind, because it's uncapturable by camera or written word, you will still always keep it with you. The other side of this is, if there is a bad memory, of something that causes you pain, try, very hard, to let it go. Someone in your life that is not good for you, the same. Let them go. Someone that you are hurting, and they don't deserve your actions towards them, let them go too. It's the only way to grow, do the right thing, and become a better person not only for them, but for you.

7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

My high school boyfriend was obsessed with lifting weights. He explained to me that the muscle tears when he's lifting, and then gets bigger when it mends. If his goal is to have huge biceps, that tearing and mending is important. I can apply this to things I've gone through in my life that haven't been pleasant. I was torn during those times, but I grew better when I mended, all the while learning lessons.
When I was in grade school I think my teachers thought I was mute. I'm half kidding here. I just didn't say very much, I was a very quiet student. My friends will tell you that I am obviously making up for that now, because I am here to tell you, I can babble on incessantly. Trust me on this. I like to talk. But I also know when to keep still, and listen.
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

I think the time to love is yesterday, today, tomorrow, and forevermore. Love is all we need, the Beatles sing so. All kinds of love. In as much abundance as we can muster. I struggle with a time for hate, but I suppose this does ring true. I hate diseases that we don't have cures for. I hate drugs that get sold to kids on the streets of cities where they know no better, or do know better but choose the wrong path anyway. I hate poverty, and homelessness, and the job market hitting an all time low. But I've always thought that hate takes just as much emotion and energy, if not more, than love. So I don't waste hate towards people. It's simply not worth it.
I know war is probably necessary. I wont bury my head in the sand. But oh that peace, that's what I really wish for. I don't like war. I don't like young adults coming home to their parents, in a coffin. But let me be very clear. I support our troops, and have an immense respect for our military.

Perfect timing. I will never think this doesn't exist. It's there for the taking, and will mesh things together when you're least expecting it. But, I also think it may need a helping hand once in a while.

“You cannot afford to wait for perfect conditions. Goal setting is often a matter of balancing timing against available resources. Opportunities are easily lost while waiting for perfect conditions.” -Gary Ryan Blair

Tomorrow is the perfect time for eggs benedict. Trust me!

See you then,
Tiffany

Over Exposure in Social Media

"In photography, exposure is the total amount of light allowed to fall on the photographic medium (photographic film or image sensor) during the process of taking a photograph" -Wikipedia

I know that when I use too much light when I'm taking a picture, it damages the end result, making the picture not easy to see. At times you can't see it at all. There's a required delicate balance when it comes to using the flash option. If you're already in bright sunlight, you don't need to use the flash, right? When someone has that really cool camera where they then need a dark room to develop the negatives, what happens when someone turns the light on during the developing phase? The pictures don't develop well. But if the light is kept off until they develop properly, the end result is a fabulous picture and a sealed memory of what was hopefully a series of treasured moments.

We also know that too much sun exposure can cause sunburn, and can lead to a higher risk of skin cancer. But there are those that think they absolutely must have the darkest tan possible, so regardless of possible negative outcomes, they spend as much time in the sun as possible, oftentimes unprotected.

What about over exposure in Social Media?

When faced with a crisis, illness, unfortunate marriage problems, friendships gone awry, job issues, etc, social media status updates, at times, share a lot of unnecessary information.
I think any social media we have available is a place where we are already standing in very bright sunlight. Placing that comment or status update that isn't necessary is just like using the flash option on the camera, it's going to result in a distorted picture that no one will want to look at, unless they're into that sort of thing.

When one posts an update that slams their friend, manager at work, life partner, spouse, even their kids, this is where sunburn sets in. Ouch.

The good thing is, there's always that delete button. Your status update, or "what's on your mind" is like your signature. I myself don't want to sign anything that shouts negativity. I don't mind anyone venting, but I think it should be done in a small way, hopefully about something that my friends can relate to and say, "Hey, I understand and totally feel you on this". I don't understand why some feel the need to air their "dirty laundry" in a social media environment. Yes I know, I've blogged about similar subjects before. I think this may be me "venting" =).
In trying to remain steadfast in my support of friends that appear to be in need of a gentle response, I do try and comment something positive that will hopefully provide a different perspective on the situation, kind of like being the aloe on the sunburn.

But if it's political, i.e. slamming the President, or religious bashing, just to name two, I stay so far away from those updates my zip code changes. I like the "to each his own" stance a lot of people take on various subjects, because I don't like people judging one another either. I just often wonder when I read something negative, did the person feel better after posting that?

I hope I can be the balm that soothes when it's needed. It's an always present goal of mine.

Mondays breakfast will be a culmination of all of that fabulous fresh fruit I bought over the weekend. Oh Dallas farmers market, I love you.

See you soon friend,
Tiffany