Friday, April 30, 2010

Puzzling out loud

First title choice: Letters to Tiffany, from Tiffany.

What I really mean: I'm talking to myself and blogging it.

Things that puzzle me:

Why is writing (or attempting to write) a haiku proven to be a "top 5" difficult challenge? A simple three line poem, with the first line having 5 syllables, the second line having 7 syllables, and the third line having 5 syllables. It can't be that hard, I say to myself. The key word is syllable. Tell me to write a 5 word, 7 word, 5 word poem, I'm done in a few minutes. Well that's me being generous with myself, but still. A syllable is a totally different thing. And the idea behind the haiku? Tacos. Totally Tacos. I love tacos! I yell to anyone that is listening, which at the time, was twitter. So yeah. Bottom line is, writing a haiku isn't easy.

Why oh why is packing a suitcase for an island vacation such a daunting activity? This isn't rocket science. You're going to a very laid back atmosphere, a vacation, filled with rest, laying in the sun like a lizard, the consumption of fresh pineapple and mai tai's, and ocean as far as the eye can see. Chances are you do not need 27 t-shirts, 17 pairs of shorts, 19 tank tops and 5 pairs of flip-flops. Step away from the pile of ridiculous and rethink.

Why do people not use the "silent" or "vibrate" option on their cell phones while in the office? Yes I liked the movie Jaws too, and you're funny for using that as the ringtone when your significant other calls, but seriously. I already feel like I'm swimming with sharks at work, don't remind me of this every time you get a call, k?

People screaming at their kids in public places. I don't understand this. I know, you're tired, it's been a long day, and they aren't listening. You've asked them repeatedly to do this, or that, yet they're climbing the wall or standing in other people's way or pulling all of the juice bottles into your cart at the grocery store. Please take a breath, count to ten, and remain calm. It breaks my heart to hear harsh words spoken to someone that has a three foot eye level to the world. Be compassionate, you created this marvelous creature that doesn't understand the rules yet.

I don't like checking the mail. I don't know why! I love receiving unexpected hand-written notes or pictures or cards from family and good friends. And this really isn't about "oh it's just bill's, yuck" either. I'm not sure what this is actually, I just don't like doing it. Maybe the internet has taken over since I pay just about every bill I have online. I'm thinking it's the junk mail. I find myself checking the mail and throwing eighty-five percent of it in the trashcan that is right next to the mailboxes. I thank you, apartment complex management office, for placing that strategically next to the mailbox area.

Traffic. Did your blood pressure just go up when reading that word? The driver that cuts you off, the speeding up so they can beat you to......what? Is there a prize where the stoplight is that I'm not aware of? You do understand that once I reach the red light just as you have, we are now even again if I change lanes, right? I always try to drive courteously. I use my turn signal way in advance to warn you of my intentions to avoid possible tragedy. Maybe one day we can all get along, behind the wheel. I'm waiting patiently for this day. Meanwhile I will still slow down and let you go first =).

Thanks for allowing me to ask my questions out loud, or "vent". The good news is, Breakfast at Tiffany's will be at home today, the first day of "vacation". Maybe we will have breakfast tacos! But I won't write a haiku about it, just sayin.

I'll see you in ten days! Would you mind watering my plants? Thanks.


Doug Moore said...

Traffic. UGH. I call people like you discribed as having "have to be in front of you" disease. And yes, I think it is a disease, or possibly a meantal illness. Either way, it's a problem. I just want to scream at them "what was all that crap back there?" On hikus, I actually like writing them, but they can be a challenge at times. Another great post! have a wonderful vacation! We will miss you. And btw, you never know, you might need 27 t-shirts!

Tiffany said...

lol @mental illness. Seriously. I absolutely refuse to allow them to give me roadrage, but I have to fight that often trust me. Oh and packing? yeah, still not done. But Talk to you soon, ALOHA!