Social media etiquette on the brain this week. I have a scheduled "Social Media Session" with a best friend soon. I'm looking forward to walking him through Twitterland and whatnot, but I feel obliged to state in print that I am no social media expert by any means. I'm just someone that enjoys using social media. Where I work we call that an enduser. I'm definitely the enduser here. I've never been to any events that the Social Media Club of Dallas (awesome venue by the way) has had, I think I've had it in my head that these were for people that actually work in Social Media, and I still may be right. I need to research that more. I would love to meet some of my social media friends that I've had the pleasure of connecting with. I just need to be intelligent about it, and do it in the right setting.
I've read a few articles this week regarding Facebook do's and don'ts, watched a few video's even, where I ended with the same thought every.single.time. Wow. I know some people that need to read / watch this! Yes, I posted them, and can only hope they get read. The thing is, etiquette is just that. It doesn't really have to be labeled Social Media etiquette, common courtesy doesn't just apply to the internet. But when drilling down to specific social websites, facebook, twitter, myspace (isn't myspace dead?) =), etc, I feel I should clarify that I am talking about how one handles themself in these settings. Bear in mind these are just my thoughts as I see things occur on a daily basis. I am fully aware that this is your social media page and you have the right to do with it what you will. I don't pass judgement on anyone, and I'm not attempting to tell anyone what to do. Thus begins my first, more than likely controversial, blog post. I'm gonna get real in here folks, it's time.
Let's review shall we?
Friend: I am really sorry your ex is a horrible, ugly, mean, vicious, attack-dog type of person. Placing these thoughts on the internet is not going to solve the issue, rather, it's spreading a negative vibe from your page all the way to where your furthest follower resides. Some things are best left un-typed.
Friend: I love that you are very interested in my status updates, so much so that you click "Like" on every single one, and comment every single one with your thoughts. I appreciate your efforts. However, please be kind to others that also want to share their thoughts in my comment thread. This is not a contest to see who can get attention faster, or who is smarter, or better. Attempting to make my friends feel inferior is not a good way to remain friends with me. I've graduated high school, I don't want to go back, okay?
Friend: I've asked, very kindly mind you, that you to keep your comments rated PG in my comment threads. Whether you agree with my request, or think it is 'stupid' or not is irrelevant. I so don't want to be rude and drop you from my friends list, but I will if I have to.
Friend: I will apologize now for clicking ignore on your 'please be my neighbor in farmville' request. I'm not interested in playing this game, but I don't mind if you want to play. I do like the new privacy setting that Facebook has offered me, wherein I can hide the game posts from my newsfeed, rather than hiding your personal status updates. I like you, I do want to know about your life, I don't necessarily want to know if you're in need of a tractor. All I ask is that you don't repeatedly send me facebook emails asking me to join the game. I've politely declined once, be nice. I was.
Friend: I've managed to avoid political discussion in social media settings because that is my choice. As well as you bashing our president being your choice. Sending me a facebook email, telling me that I'm afraid to speak my mind is not necessarily going to warm me to you, if that is your goal. This would fall under, "to each his own". And I believe I am speaking my mind right now, in this blogpost.
Friend: I really do want everyone to get along. Call me disney-esque if you must, snow white, whichever character you choose, but I am, and will remain, steadfast in my want of everyone being civil to one another. When I see you and your ex bashing each other in your comment threads I say out loud, "why?". Why do this in view of your social media friends? Does it solve anything? Are you cool now? My answer is no. But you decide.
The above could fall under the first "Friend" I write about, the only difference is it's a conversation between the two people, not just a status update. I am also aware that I don't have to follow either person. Just let me vent a little, this is Tiffany speaking her mind, because she's been accused of being afraid to do so.
The following status updates are what I am going to stay away from in this post. Why? Because they fall under these two categories: 1) I dont have to follow them 2) it's their social media page.
But in the staying away from I mean I'm not going to get into a paragraph discussion about them. But I will list them out just so I can see them for myself in print.
"My job and manager totally suck and I hate them"
"My kids are horrible heathens that should be placed in the corner and fed bread and water for a week"
"I've just posted a picture of myself and best friends getting wasted in the bar, click Like!"
"I can't get a date no matter what I do, nothing works out for me, doom and gloom at every turn, the sky is dark in my world and everyone hates me"
and my personal favorite
"I've just posted a thoroughly embarrassing picture of my friend without their permission, take a look!" (but I'm not in it, wouldn't want to embarrass and humiliate myself, would I?)
Well then. I don't know about you but I feel better already. I've pushed and shoved the "be yourself" "be true to yourself" "to thine own self be true" mantras to you on so many occasions I've lost count.
I believe this post reveals my thoughts on what social media etiquette means. I really appreciate the fact that I have the means to say what I want to say, in my own words. I also appreciate you stopping by to read what I've discussed today.
I've had friends tell me that they don't understand why I don't speak up more.
“He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words.” Elbert Hubbard
I don't know if the above quote is entirely true. You've understood everything I've said today haven't you?
When I return to work after this week of oncall, working from home, I will enlighten you on the haunted elevator. It's like halloween! But without the candy. (sigh)
Until then,
Tiffany
P.S. I'm just kidding about myspace being dead. It's a very cool way to check out new bands, or music in general. It's there for whatever one wants to use it for, and that is a cool thing. You will notice that Twitter hasn't been mentioned much in this post. I adore this social media outlet by the way. But Twitter is simple. If you don't like that 140 character update you read, just click Unfollow. I love my twitterites, they're pretty awesome.
6 comments:
I developed this theory when I was a little bit younger, that when people said "You're such an honest person who always speaks her mind", what they were actually saying was "You're kinda mean." Because we tend to admire the most negative people as the only ones being truthful. And I thought, why can't we all just work on being better people so that when our truth comes out, it's marinated in things like compassion and kindness and optimism?
This is why I admire a person who knows when to shut up, basically. It was very freeing to me to realize I didn't have to share all the most negative things. It's okay to answer "great" when a person says "how are you" and you know they're merely passing on a greeting and don't need to know that you cried that day because you're out of gas money and you stubbed your toe.
I'm also fairly often stifled by this quote: “The things that we feel most deeply we ought to learn to be silent about, at least until we have talked them over thoroughly with God.” by Elisabeth Elliot. This is exactly what I feel you've done here. You thought carefully about these things before you wrote them. You wrote them well. And no one can doubt that you love them but you won't join in their ex, boss, or children bashing. And you don't, for God's sake, want to buy them a tractor.
Excellent post. And I love twitter too.
I absolutely love the fact that I have you in my corner. My corner is lovely, everyone gets along, and no one asks me to buy them a tractor.
PS when I got to "stubbed your toe" I seriously lol'd.
Thanks Seren, for your undying support =)
None of my status udates are listed and I don't bash my (soon to be) ex or kids, so I think I'm safe. BTW I understand how you feel, some posters really get on my nerves. The worst one for me is the one who status updates every single little thing they do, all day, everyday. TMI in a big way. I don't need to konw all of that lol. I always try to read my status updates and see how others will read my comments. I try to be thoughtful in my posts, and there is ALWAYS a reason for me posting. It's not always obvious what my reason is, but there is always a deeper meaning to everything I write.
I'm glad you stopped by Doug, the one thing I think I left out of this post that I should have clarified is: when it comes to the "ex" piece, those people are no longer on my friends list. You are most definitely NOT in any of these categories. Your posts are thoughtful, uplifting, and quite funny at times. I've alwasys enjoyed them. =)
Very well said, Tiffany. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your blog on opinion and really do feel the world would be a better place if everyone would exercise, when the time is appropriate, use of filters and we would all get along cordially. However the truth of the matter is, it unfortunately continues to happen and we can only do our best as to not feed into the temptation..
lets see if I can comment my own blog one time with no typos shall we? (ell oh ell) Mkey G (aka sage) , "lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil" indeed, eh?
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