Is it really better to give than to receive?

Just a few nice words.....go a long way.

I decided that since I can't get all of my social media friends a gift this holiday season, I would leave them a comment on their facebook wall instead. I dubbed it "Drive-By Facebooking". I wasn't sure if it was a good idea then realize, uh hello, I'm pretty cool so why wouldn't this be a good idea? =)

I have a few friends in there. Once I started I realized, geez this could take a while. So I'm spacing it out over the course of the weekend. I haven't had time to write on everyone's wall yet. But the response so far? Exactly what I expected. People love to hear kind words written about them. Of course they do. Why wouldn't it make ones day to discover an unexpected, kind message in Facebook?

I've told friends before that kind words go a long way. I know it sounds cliche, but I don't care. If you take just a few minutes, seconds even, to say something nice to someone, it has the potential to totally change their day. Words are powerful, if you think otherwise you're kidding yourself. This of course can go both ways. Negative comments go just as far as positive comments. Those that know me well know which side I live on.

Here's the deal. None of us know what each other is going through. A total stranger might appear to be the happiest person on the planet, when, in reality, they are sad over some unfortunate circumstance in their life. If we begin to understand this, would it help at all to have us start to be kind? It's not like it's hard work. It just takes a few words. "You're awesome" "I love what you're wearing" "I think you do that amazingly well" "it's going to get better"....I can go on.

I'm going to continue with my quest until it's complete.

And I'm starting to think it makes me feel better than the recipient. Is it really better to give than to receive?

You decide.

I'll see you soon!
Tiffany

PS My mom is visiting. Translation: I have my own personal chef, everything in my apartment is in order, and I get to take her to all of my favorite Dallas places. It's pretty fabulous. Especially the awesome Breakfast venues. Breakfast at Tiffanys isn't always at Tiffanys. It's just.....wherever I happen to be.

It's okay to disconnect once in a while

Sometimes I feel like I'm swimming in information overload. Articles and news stories and blogs and status updates and daily reminders.....the list goes on. I sign into Yahoo; "What Keeps Men Happy In Relationships", "Sky's Color May Have Changed" (I laughed at that title alone), "Controversy of a Teen Sailor", "Eleven Budgeting Mistakes", "What Not to Do In Facebook", "Best and Worse Frozen Foods".....Scroll through facebook/twitter to see what people "Like", where they are, what they've eaten, what they're mad about, what they hate, what they love, the weather in their city, what team they're rooting for, and what hilarious video's are out there in cyberspace. I follow a few blogs and actually get upset with myself when I get behind in the reading of them, they're not going anywhere but it's almost like a need I have to keep up, or a courtesy to my friend to keep myself in the know of their thoughts. I've said before, "If they're going to take the time to write it, I'm going to take the time to read it".
But isn't it okay to disconnect for a while?
I just got back from Oahu. Eight glorious days of beautiful, aqua painted ocean, so much fresh pineapple I didn't know what to do with it, catamarin rides with views of spinner dolphins leaping out of the water, long beach walks, luaus, the smell of plumeria at every turn, hawaiian music wafting through the stores, friends sitting in three's playing the Ukelele on a Sunday afternoon in the shade, quality time spent with some of my favorite people in the world, laughing until we cried (seriously), laid back attire (I love my sarong), infinity pools, "island" hair (ahem, its a little humid over there) but don't get me wrong. I. LOVED.IT.
I had no idea what was going on in world news. I turned twitter off on my phone. I updated facebook five times while I was away, once from Maui, but turned all notifications off other than my own. I just.....disconnected.
I've been thinking about that since I've been home, how freeing it felt. I'm not saying I don't want to know what's going on the world, of course I do. You already know I love twitter, I don't believe I can use the word "love" for facebook what with all of this privacy setting change taking place right now. I don't understand the whole "forcing the social connection even more" facebook is doing, it's like they're getting paid if I become friends with four hundred people rather than two hundred. There are certian things I like to be able to control regarding what I'm doing when I'm in facebook, not really caring for the fact that they've taken away my right to do so in a lot of ways. So yeah.....my mouse does hover over that deactivate button at times. But, to be fair, I do update facebook at least once a day, usually. Just keeping it real, I don't want to be a hypocrite and say I hate it, I just don't like some of the changes they're making. But if they ever ask me to PAY to use it? Not doing it.
I said to a friend today, "what did we ever do before social media?" A few years ago I remember saying "what did we ever do before cell phones, and texting?"
What DID we do? Read more books? Not for me, I read every day and have for as long as I can remember. Get outside and enjoy the fresh air more? That probably is true for some. Spend more time having real, face to face conversations? I think so. Technology has brought us a long way, and I think that's really cool. I love having the text option, especially if I need to say something but I don't have time to talk. But that makes me wonder. Before we had this option, we either made time for the verbal conversation, or waited until there was time for it, or it didn't happen at all.
I met with friends recently who I hadn't seen since I got back from Hawaii. I remember noticing, and I include myself in this, that everyone had their cell phone either in their hand or on the table right next to them so they were aware at all times of any incoming texts, calls, or social media activity. I thought, so this is what we've come to. I wonder what would happen if I said out loud, okay everybody, phones off. Would they be able to do it? Would "I" be able to do it? I just don't know! I know my friends would say, "are you kidding, your cell phone is like an extra limb, you would die". =)

So I'm home, back to work, and totally connected again.

But I hear that tide coming in.....and see the moon hovering over the water, feel the soft breeze and smell the fresh smells. I think I may disconnect a little more often now. Be sure to do that when you need to as well.

They serve rice with their eggs at breakfast on the island, we'll have that this morning too at Tiffany's, it's quite tasty.

See you soon,
Tiffany

Oh my Tiffany has an opinion!

Social media etiquette on the brain this week. I have a scheduled "Social Media Session" with a best friend soon. I'm looking forward to walking him through Twitterland and whatnot, but I feel obliged to state in print that I am no social media expert by any means. I'm just someone that enjoys using social media. Where I work we call that an enduser. I'm definitely the enduser here. I've never been to any events that the Social Media Club of  Dallas (awesome venue by the way) has had, I think I've had it in my head that these were for people that actually work in Social Media, and I still may be right. I need to research that more. I would love to meet some of my social media friends that I've had the pleasure of connecting with. I just need to be intelligent about it, and do it in the right setting.
I've read a few articles this week regarding Facebook do's and don'ts, watched a few video's even, where I ended with the same thought every.single.time. Wow. I know some people that need to read / watch this! Yes, I posted them, and can only hope they get read. The thing is, etiquette is just that. It doesn't really have to be labeled Social Media etiquette, common courtesy doesn't just apply to the internet. But when drilling down to specific social websites, facebook, twitter, myspace (isn't myspace dead?) =), etc, I feel I should clarify that I am talking about how one handles themself in these settings. Bear in mind these are just my thoughts as I see things occur on a daily basis. I am fully aware that this is your social media page and you have the right to do with it what you will. I don't pass judgement on anyone, and I'm not attempting to tell anyone what to do. Thus begins my first, more than likely controversial, blog post. I'm gonna get real in here folks, it's time.

Let's review shall we?

Friend: I am really sorry your ex is a horrible, ugly, mean, vicious, attack-dog type of person. Placing these thoughts on the internet is not going to solve the issue, rather, it's spreading a negative vibe from your page all the way to where your furthest follower resides. Some things are best left un-typed.

Friend: I love that you are very interested in my status updates, so much so that you click "Like" on every single one, and comment every single one with your thoughts. I appreciate your efforts. However, please be kind to others that also want to share their thoughts in my comment thread. This is not a contest to see who can get attention faster, or who is smarter, or better. Attempting to make my friends feel inferior is not a good way to remain friends with me. I've graduated high school, I don't want to go back, okay?

Friend: I've asked, very kindly mind you, that you to keep your comments rated PG in my comment threads. Whether you agree with my request, or think it is 'stupid' or not is irrelevant. I so don't want to be rude and drop you from my friends list, but I will if I have to.

Friend: I will apologize now for clicking ignore on your 'please be my neighbor in farmville' request. I'm not interested in playing this game, but I don't mind if you want to play. I do like the new privacy setting that Facebook has offered me, wherein I can hide the game posts from my newsfeed, rather than hiding your personal status updates. I like you, I do want to know about your life, I don't necessarily want to know if you're in need of a tractor. All I ask is that you don't repeatedly send me facebook emails asking me to join the game. I've politely declined once, be nice. I was.

Friend: I've managed to avoid political discussion in social media settings because that is my choice. As well as you bashing our president being your choice. Sending me a facebook email, telling me that I'm afraid to speak my mind is not necessarily going to warm me to you, if that is your goal. This would fall under, "to each his own". And I believe I am speaking my mind right now, in this blogpost.

Friend: I really do want everyone to get along. Call me disney-esque if you must, snow white, whichever character you choose, but I am, and will remain, steadfast in my want of everyone being civil to one another. When I see you and your ex bashing each other in your comment threads I say out loud, "why?". Why do this in view of your social media friends? Does it solve anything? Are you cool now? My answer is no. But you decide.

The above could fall under the first "Friend" I write about, the only difference is it's a conversation between the two people, not just a status update. I am also aware that I don't have to follow either person. Just let me vent a little, this is Tiffany speaking her mind, because she's been accused of being afraid to do so.

The following status updates are what I am going to stay away from in this post. Why? Because they fall under these two categories: 1) I dont have to follow them 2) it's their social media page.
But in the staying away from I mean I'm not going to get into a paragraph discussion about them. But I will list them out just so I can see them for myself in print.

"My job and manager totally suck and I hate them"
"My kids are horrible heathens that should be placed in the corner and fed bread and water for a week"
"I've just posted a picture of myself and best friends getting wasted in the bar, click Like!"
"I can't get a date no matter what I do, nothing works out for me, doom and gloom at every turn, the sky is dark in my world and everyone hates me"
and my personal favorite
"I've just posted a thoroughly embarrassing picture of my friend without their permission, take a look!" (but I'm not in it, wouldn't want to embarrass and humiliate myself, would I?)

Well then. I don't know about you but I feel better already. I've pushed and shoved the "be yourself" "be true to yourself" "to thine own self be true" mantras to you on so many occasions I've lost count.

I believe this post reveals my thoughts on what social media etiquette means. I really appreciate the fact that I have the means to say what I want to say, in my own words. I also appreciate you stopping by to read what I've discussed today.

I've had friends tell me that they don't understand why I don't speak up more.

“He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words.” Elbert Hubbard

I don't know if the above quote is entirely true. You've understood everything I've said today haven't you?

When I return to work after this week of oncall, working from home, I will enlighten you on the haunted elevator. It's like halloween! But without the candy. (sigh)

Until then,
Tiffany

P.S. I'm just kidding about myspace being dead. It's a very cool way to check out new bands, or music in general. It's there for whatever one wants to use it for, and that is a cool thing. You will notice that Twitter hasn't been mentioned much in this post. I adore this social media outlet by the way. But Twitter is simple. If you don't like that 140 character update you read, just click Unfollow. I love my twitterites, they're pretty awesome.

Counting down.....to Facebook

I just read a "tweet" that said: "Honestly without Facebook your missing NOTHING at all.. Without Twitter you miss so much!!"
The varying degrees of love for different avenues of social media.....they're all over the place. I know some that love twitter like I do. I learn news faster than CNN can tell me at times. I like that. I've connected with some really great people in twitter, I like hearing about what they're doing, it often inspires me to go do the same thing if I have time. Restaurant reviews, movie reviews, different music venues.....opinions generously offered with a 140 character or less, "tweet". Sometimes it's just a personal observation, or something hilarious that happened in someones day, that often makes me laugh out loud. People sharing inspirational quotes, another favorite, I can't get enough of those. One guy has a "food blog" (hi @unhatched!) I always enjoy reading about what he is cooking next, especially when he and his girlfriend have pizza night. Trust me, he takes pizza to a whole new level. And he's a genuinely nice person too!
I gave up Facebook for lent. I didn't ever doubt for a second that I could do this. Neither did another cool twitter friend (hi @dropframe!) yet another genuinely nice person, who fully supported my endeavor. I actually had a lot of twitter support, that I so appreciated (@k7dugan hi Kyle!) Very cool guy.
With Palm Sunday brings just 7 more days of my facebook hiatus. What have I learned?
Different variations of social media can bring different results from status updates, and different kinds of connections, or quite frankly, the very same kind. Thats a teeter-totter statement if I've ever written one. I think what I've found is, it's up to me what the end result will be from any connections I've made. I didn't give up Facebook because I grew a hatred for it by any means. Although I will honestly share that I did feel like I needed the break. Facebook can be a lot of fun and it's a great way to stay connected to those you care about. What a wide variety of people I have on my friends list, it's like having a party and inviting everyone I know to sit in my living room and talk about life. Not a bad thing, right?
I feel extremely lucky and grateful for all of the love that I've been hearing about that people are leaving on my "wall", I'm looking forward to reading the messages myself on Easter Sunday. My supporters aren't inticing me to sign in early I've realized, by sharing that there are messages waiting, they are simply reminding me that I'm missed and they can't wait for my return. I'm kind of surprised a little actually (lol) I don't think I'm THAT inspiring or funny but thats where that grateful part comes in. If I've ever made someones day go from negative to positive with what I've said, then I can rest assured that MY day has become better, just knowing that. I read an email I received this morning from a friend, he said "I just don't feel like posting status updates anymore, can you hurry up and come back?" See? Grateful, that I am. But I did remind him, and a few others, there are people that truly want to know what's going on with you. Please continue to post status updates as you were, and give me some reading material regarding your life story, to catch up with upon my return.
I also learned that Facebook is only the "devil" of social media if one allows that. If there are things going on that you don't like, then change them. Or stay away from them. Make your page your home, comfortable, and all about you. Toss some cool throw-pillows on the couch! Decorate it to say, Hi this is me, come on in and lets talk. If I haven't done that before now, that is where I'm headed in 7 days.

With the insane extra hours I've worked this weekend (3:30am Saturday morning, *yawn*) I am now going to sit in that beautiful sunshine and decompress. I'm taking my coffee with me, I hope your Palm Sunday brings total relaxation and gets you ready for the new week.

I'll talk to you soon!
Tiffany

PS stop by Tuesday so we can have a birthday breakfast, at Tiffanys =)

Should I give up Facebook for Lent?

Odd question for someone who is not Catholic. I still give things up for Lent though, I'm not sure if this is just a personal exercise in willpower or me simply joining the Catholic masses in their 40 days of denying themselves something they really want or enjoy on a regular basis.

"Jesus retreated into the wilderness, where he fasted for forty days, and was tempted by the devil" (Matthew 4:1-2, Mark 1:12-13, Luke 4:1-2)

I would say to the above, that facebook can indeed be a temptation of the devil. (Now watch me end up on a facebook organization hate list, or a group developed in facebook called "Breakfast at Tiffany's = fail", become a fan now and we'll send you mafia wars weapons or free ingredients for your restaurant in Restaurant City!!

And then your Home Page will fill to the brim with all of the joiners of this group, because you really need to know when your friends become fans of such groups.

Oh Facebook, I don't know how to quit you. You've made me new friends. You've made me choose to delete some of those friends for various reasons, some not so pleasant. I've even lost friends that I still miss today. But I digress....

The comment threads on my status updates =the bane of my existence. Okay that's not fair, I love that people are interested in what I have to say, I'm actually pretty lucky that people are comfortable sharing their opinions. Most of the time it's all good. Polite, positive feedback. But oh how it can go south sometimes. I can say I like grapes and it turns into a heated debate over something political. For godsake people, I was talking about fruit. This is all tongue-in-cheek =). I just feel bad for anyone that clicks "like" and then has 65 emails in their inbox from my boring status update because there are 65 comments, is all I'm sayin.

And what is UP with the damn changes every few months I ask you? Just when I get used to the status updates and news feeds, you change everything, making me start all over in finding where things are, and learning how to use you. I don't care for your privacy settings. I'm pretty sure my friends don't care when I click like on something, or become friends with someone from my 3rd grade class who I havent talked to since then, but will of course totally reconnect with now.

I've never liked change, but have learned that it comes with good reason, and I need to embrace it. But seriously, enough already.

With this latest change in Facebook, I've had several friends ask me to come over for yet another "teach me how to use facebook" class.

I'm not sure how I became the Facebook connoisseur. But I will say this, if I give it up for Lent, which begins in 7 days, you people better book me now.

I'll give up facebook, but I won't give you up. You're my breakfast partner in crime. What are we having tomorrow?

Until then
Tiffany