Saturday, April 24, 2010
I'm still me when I reach the destination
Change. Why do I have trouble embracing this? I almost always end up being happier after the change, whatever it may be. I've had the "thinking outside the box" idea on my mind today. My first thought was, but that's going to mean change. Ugh! Then I laughed and thought, why do you struggle with this so much. The inside of my box is FINE, I like it dangit! Damn comfort zones and the warmth they provide.
Work related change I reallllly struggle with. I get inside that niche and become comfortable, I don't want anyone messing with it. It's lovely in there! But of course, I eventually learn that the change was a good thing. All of a sudden I know ten things instead of nine. My skill set is broader, my elastic mind is stretched, (sometimes to the point of breaking), but I'm sayin. It forces me to embrace, rather than to fight, whatever work related change has come my way. Sometimes I do this begrudgingly, but I have a friends voice in the back of my head saying, just embrace it. Wrap your arms around it, you're going to be so fabulous at this. (Hi Vanessa, I can still hear you).....
During a conversation with a coworker, he mentioned the "after we broke up she changed her hair color and style" thing. I'm not sure if I've ever done this, because. Well see above. I dont like change! That doesn't mean I've always had the same hair style. (Just sayin). But that kind of change comes on my terms, not someone elses. And I do understand why she would want to do that. Friends have told me about this idea in the past, mentioning that it just made them feel better to be a little different after something like that happens. I get it, nothing wrong with that.
Decorative changes I don't seem to struggle with as much. I recently got the bright idea *cough, to paint an accent wall in my living room. It was called radicchio. If someone had said, hey try this color, it's called radicchio, I would have immediately said no.way. I don't want a purple wall in my living room. But this color wasn't purple. It was more like a very light poppy, at least on the card it was. Fast forward a week, guess what color that wall is today. Cafe Au Lait. So yeah. I spent money on two cans of paint because I so didn't like that color after I painted the ENTIRE WALL. Sigh. "Don't be afraid of color" they always say. Well I'm not, but let me just say this. Be very selective mmmkay? Because poppy makes the room appear half the size.
I think what I need to do is relate change to growth, rather than something negative. *Cliche alert* "everything happens for a reason". That sort of thing. I remember when I moved from Columbia (MO) to Dallas, on the drive down I was mentally screaming "why am I doing this?!" Because they know me well, my close friends were amazed, they couldn't believe I was moving to another state. Now that I'm here I know I could live anywhere. Moving across state lines is not that big of a deal. I'm still me when I reach the destination.
This is true in relationship changes as well. I know it sucks to have things not work out the way you thought they would in the beginning. The flipside of that scenario is when two friends that were friends for a very long time, suddenly call me with a wedding invitation. (hello When Harry Met Sally) =) Love. it.
“The key to change... is to let go of fear.”-Roseanne Cash
Okay I hear the message Universe. I'll work on not being afraid of change. I promise I will.
Breakfast at Tiffany's has to be something completely different today, it's all about change right?
See you soon,
PS Oh but the coffee has to be Starbucks, let's not get ridiculous.